I hope you've forgotten me
So I, alone, can carry
the burden that's our memories.

Once again,
as I retread over
the fragments of your
literary beauty.

You write in the most potent essence of
our connection embodied.

I am so ever ensnared by the rhythm
that your words play on my heart strings.

Especially, now
In this time where I am so desperately in need;
of just
a small dose of affection

trace your fingers on my lips gently
for if you play my pulse
like you do that guitar

my soul will sing to yours
through my heart beats

My heart has loved so many.
Ever-changing and ever lasting.
Going farther than I could ever believe.
And yet, I still get hurt and no amount of bandages,
nor thread can hold all of my pieces together.
I'm hoping that you know I still think of you and
my heart aches because I shattered yours:
something so elegant and valuable- broken.
only now do I realize that I've been wrong
right now I find that you didn't need me at all
right now I find that I needed you. More than anything. I'm
yearning for you to share some words with me again, but I know it wont happen
and rightfully so. I said I wasn't good enough, and I believed it, now more than ever. And still, I
neglected that you were telling me otherwise. That you still wanted me around.
Distance was my problem. How I longed to turn our tangled words into reality.
I still can't step onto my porch without having my mind flood full of regret.
maybe I'll stop with all of this nonsense of 'what ifs' and 'have beens' but for now it seems
impossible. I know I
still haven't met a soul as beautiful as yours or
someone who could make me feel so full with only their words.
You were that only person.
Only you could have done that. And when I drifted out of fear that you too would drift and leave me
under the sea to drown in the misery of a broken heart, you promised you
wouldn't.
I'm complicated. I'm afraid of heartbreak. I break hearts to save mine. Before anybody else can.
The pain of loneliness is truly unbearable. I know and feel how I'm going to be this way forever. If
Hell is a place on earth, I must be living it, spending
all day going over the words you had so tenderly given. So wrongfully given. I remember when
love existed between us. How palpable and real it was. How I could
list all the ways you touched my heart. The only person who meant it. The only person who ever did.
My god how I miss you.
Your title, body, notes, and
soul.
Only I could be such an idiot.
Understand, I'm so complicated. I'm so sorry. I know you're not coming back, but I never got to say, "I
love you."

Howling; chilling the frigid air even more so than the skeletal figurines (they used to be trees) that rim the desolate street. And the moon- she waxes & wanes, refusing to stay in the same stage (stay sane?). For she never sees her lover, Mr. Sun- he always runs away from the darkness, though it is at night when she rules her fun. So she tip-toes, slowly emerges, to peek carefully across the night sky and hopes that perhaps at one moment in time, she'll gaze into his blinding white light.*

....but this bed still doesn't feel my own

                     desolate
                                    & cold


      I still lie  


                                                



                                                             ­           alone







For your heart
    Is the only place
        I could ever truly call home.

Daisies don't remind me of your absence. Yet they remind me of an unseemingly cold summer. A night where we walked up and down the busy streets, asking strangers for cigarettes. You kissed my hand and told me my skin smelt like daises. It's just..I spent the night with my hands in your hair...and I spent all summer thinking of how someday you'd disappear along with the smell of daisies.

You came to me in a dream,
O Specter of Sensibility,
to help discern the distant
drowning dirges of dying doubt

We walked—our party’s steps
quite quicker than our own.
As the gap grew greater,
they disappeared into the night.

All alone along an amphitheater’s path,
my ghostly guardian gave life
to the story I had wished to hear.
Clarity obtained—each player was one of us.

Eyes straight ahead, she didn’t break stride.
The waves of her voice took charge,
powering the reels that play,
saying, “So, you slept to know?

“I’m here for you and you alone
so you could see me in reality.”
A proper lady she was,
so small talk preceded needs.

She went on to tell of how,
“patience at present is prudent.”
“And purposefully perplexing,” I thought,
listening in reverie.

“Just as I return oft in your dreams,
so too will what I embody come back.”
She was cold so my arms became alms.
We sat in acceptance until the crowd caved in around.

temporary lust
permanent
thoughts

could this be love?

it's not just that
it's the warm breath
you feel upon your neck
it's the hot feeling
you feel going through
your blood-pumping heart
it's the aftermath
of a night of shame
pleasure and pain
all of the above

well, not shame
just heaven
of the time
you hold
each other
close

adrenaline rush
is always the worst
because it leaves you
addicted to the fix
it keeps you in place
seeking the passion
that makes your heart race
seeking the heaven
in which you have found
in your sweetheart's love