I don't get **** sometimes
It makes me feel dumb and incapable
I wish we could transform science
So it wouldn't feel like a burden

Where is the spark of learning?
The prime aspect of education
Formulas, calculation, books
At the end of the day, I feel like nothing is useful

Fluids, kinematics, gravitation
Atoms, molecules and electromagnetism
Phylum and classes of plants and animals
Calculus and relation and function

Sometimes, I feel like maybe I'm just better off at poems

I am greed, want.
She is need, lack.

I am anger and frustration.
She is hope, tenacity.

She is yellow
amidst the grey that I'm become.

But I am success, money.
And she is poverty, dust.

I remember when I was 12
There was this really cute guy
He had the most perfect hair
And the most amazing smile
I felt this connection between us
This little spark of attraction
And I liked him so much
That I named it was love
But day after day passed
And someone asked
'So you like her?'
'Nah'
I was broken
'Why?'
'Because she likes One Direction!'
'What if she didn't?'
'Still, not a bit'  
'Why?'
'Honestly, she looks like a pig!'
And there I was
In a broken hearted barn
In the mud of insecurity
As a filthy creature, darned
I could cry, I could wail
But I held myself and slept
Dreamless darkness seemed
So much better than the real
And when I woke up
Just for a moment
I thought it's all okay
But then it struck me like a lightning bolt
Everything came crashing down
I hated myself so much
For being so fat, ugly and hairy
For how I looked and who I was
For my skin and my very bones
And from that day on
I let him define for me
My being, my beauty, my value in life
And love, how it'll never be mine