too much water
for the drain
it was never love

yet, you were there
in the light between the leaves
for a fleeting moment

Perhaps the sky was never blue
Gray skies made an unnatural dusty pink
By rose tinted glasses

Each bolt of lightning
So naively mistaken
As brilliant rays of sunlight

And sure at times, flowers bloomed
But at its depths, the frigid cold of winter remains
Darling, your beauty is merely skin deep

I should've listened when they said
That if I gazed into the sun long enough
I'd go blind

And now I'm stumbling around
Arms outreached
Like the bare limbs of winter trees
Wondering why I let these roots grow so deep

To ana,
I want to hang pictures from your collarbones
To climb up your ribs like a ladder
To catch your hair as it falls
Down...
And down…
And down...
The rabbit hole your mind goes

Because each bite of food
Is an act of betrayal
Pushing you further and further
From your goal weight
Even though you know
Your goal weight will never be enough
You want to lose so much
That there will be nothing left to lose except
Your friends
Your family
You