In this river of doubt
Can’t swim my way out

In a place I don’t know
No yellow brick road to follow

A wanderer lost and all alone
Just hoping to find my way home

I carry what you said with me.
The aching in my bones.
The bruising on my soul.
The scars on my skin.
It’s less of a choice, and
more of a sickness.

It comes at night.
A ghost black as coal.
Moving noiseless and
Nimble betwixt the shadows.

**** this life.
I would’ve been
Better off in another one.
Or better still, not at all.

Year after year of pain.
Grief, heartbreak, abuse,
Depression, illness, loss.

A monotonous, never- ending  
Cycle. Black and white.
All colour that was once there
Has faded, slowly and completely.

I’m utterly done with this
****. Where’s the nearest exit?

Day in, day out, I
gave my whole self
to you, heart, soul
and mind.
Every secret, every
darkness within,
illuminated and laid
bare before you.

Little did I know, that
the security, the safety
I found in you, was but
a result of the microcosm
you had built around just
you and me, cut off from
the world, and from life.

I know this is a cliché, but
they say love is blind, and
by God, did I learn that
the hard way.

Because (truth be told),
in the early hours while
the city slumbers, when all
is still and silent and the moon
keeps an ever-watchful eye, my
words are my only companions.

Unplug the clocks.
Time is non-existent
Awake all night, tormented
With thoughts of the chaos
Both within and without,
Until it’s 5am and the birds
Arise, taunting me with the
Bittersweet melody of their
Chorus which commences at
Dawn, reminding me it’s time
To begin my own daily performance.

It’s day... I don’t ******* know anymore.
Locked indoors 23 hours of the day
A one hour slot to feel like a human again
Is this what prison feels like?
I’ve been trapped for so long
The four walls of my bedroom declared me insane last night
How much longer can I last?
I don’t ******* know anymore.

Why do we always get high
When we're feeling low?

Each time you glance at me,
your eyes flicker perfectly, but
I often wonder what you see.

I can feel myself slowly slipping through the cracks, fading further and further into the distance, soon to become nothing more than a ghost, fabricated by their nostalgia.

Maybe someday our
kindred spirits will cross
paths and ignite our lonely
hearts we thought would never glow.

A poet can truly see into
another man's mind, once
he reads over his words.

We fall for our own illusion of love,
When in reality, it will all be a tragedy.

Grow a garden inside
your own soul instead
of waiting for someone
else to bring you flowers.

I'm drawn to you,
Like a wasp to a nest,
as words of love trickle
From your velvet lips like honey.

You nurtured a rose
within my heart,
until she grew too tall
and I choked on her thorns.

I have scars and imperfections,
but despite them, you told me
I'm ****.

Well baby, that was your mistake.

Now,
I want you to ****** me.

You'll give me a flash of that crooked smile and a playful wink,
your golden eyes filled with desire and lust.

Your hand will gently brush my cheek, then you'll stare into my eyes,
down at my lips,
and back into my eyes again.

You know, how I long for your touch.

But before I can draw breath,
lips are upon lips,
and in that instant,
I am yours, your kiss is like a
poison I can't get enough of.

How about this?

Just for tonight, you and I,
heavy breathing, sweat trickling
down your spine and
our bodies intertwined,
writing poetry beneath your
bedsheets.

I opened the cage
of my ribs for you,
To reveal my softly beating
heart and all that lay
within it.

But you? No.

Your heart is still encased
in that cage of yours.
I can hear it,
each beat reverberating
in your chest.
Yet, I cannot see it.

Maybe you're just shy,
Or
Maybe I just don't hold
the key to the cage
around your heart.

We **** up and we know it.
But, there's only one thing we can do.
Deal with it.
We can't conceal ourselves from the consequences of our own vile actions.
We rub salt into the already festering wounds we've left behind and hide behind sickly sweet smiles while guilt pulses through our veins and corrodes us from the inside out.
Yet, what can we do? Nothing.
Time goes on and mistakes become old memories.
Friendships die. Love dies.
Time erodes all beauty and crimson roses fade to black.
But, like I've said before, there's only one thing we can do.
Just. *******. Deal with it.