There was a time I loved you
Know matter what you would say.
Now I no longer love you
You scared my love away.
I always hoped you love me
You seem happier with others
No matter who they are.
But not when I’m around
So I loved you from a far.
No matter what I do
It’s never good enough.
Why you hate me I don’t know!
You said it a lot that you don't want me
From the day I was a womb in your belly
You told the doctor how can I get rid of her
I don't want her
Make her die
He didn't let you
But
I wish he did
So I don't need to suffer the pain
I am suffering now*.

she weaved a tapestry of notions for me
on the lower level of grand central station
it had rained that night
my jacket retained its damp warmth of summer storm
we ran down the long ramp
past the times square express
to that bench
where she sits tonight
weaving dreams
and avidly talking to friends
by the track where we used to catch the train
to that sleepy little town with the apple orchard
and blueberry farm
near hartford

we had wandered all night along the wet humid streets
and talked about everything under the sun
and a few things over it too
just holding hands and walking
laughing and whispering

i was a young man
you were a young woman
we had the world at our feet
we were everything to eachother
under the sun
and a few things over it as well

tonight she weaves a tapestry of notions for me
in the lower level of grand central
while i rock my childs crib in the bahamas
she talks to her friends
who allways are sitting just there
tho they have all long since gone
her imagination they are allways there
the notion is that no matter where you go
you will allways be loved

I bleed into my pen
and leak my sorrows on the pages.
I shudder from the movement
underneath my broken skin.
They bite me, they eat me,
they **** me from within.
They crawl so subtly
these monsters in my body
who feast upon my sin.