It's late, I know
I promised that I wouldn't call
I just need to hear your voice
Need to know that you're alone tonight

All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie

I hate that it's so hard for you
To conjure up a tear or two
Tell me it's not all in veign
Mourn all the years I gave to you

Let me save a single moment from the drain

All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie

Tell me I'm your person
It's just one more lie
Tell me I don't deserve this
It's just one more lie

All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie

Baby's breath
Innocence
Soft and delicate
Fragile
Porcelain
Gently lay you down in a bed of flowers
That I will not call a grave
But on the note I'll leave, I'll write
I'm sorry I could not save you

Oh what you all must think of me now
When my heart sinks and my lips part to form a scream Though I know
No noise comes out

With all my mistakes
I often lust for leaving
Long for drowning
To wash away the permanent headache
Sending waves of humiliation
Through my entire frame

I often replay every wrong word I said
Second guess my second guesses

Try to retract my misplaced reactions
Settle scores I've carved against my own skin
Determined to paint over this portrait
This ugly depiction

I feel so low that I dream of dying
Just to erase the slate that haunts me
I hate this familiar basement of friendship, where your words are twisted and your intentions misrepresented. Everyone leaves me -again, saying I am poisonous. And a very deep part of me believes that
Maybe I am.
Poisonous.

And after so many times,
How can I not begin to question,
Is it's truly me or
Or is it them?

A thousand pounds presses down,
Upon me and upon my chest.
Prevents my breath and drags me
Deeper, into the depths of the cement.

I beg for you and for your arms,
To rock me back and forth.
You beg for me
for any sort of effort
To push forward

The issue is inately within me
There's nothing you can do -
But hold me, and forgive me -
For all that this puts your through.

How you frantically
clean up the bleeding,
While I constantly
apologize for needing you
the way that I do

But you say you knew this
When you met me,
The mess I'd been through
You'd fall in love with me twice over
Despite the burden I know I am to you

Your arms are so strong around me
For a moment, though it's fleeting
the heaviness is leaving -
Though it's slowly,
I am breathing

The weight is at least, a little bit less
Last night as you held me, I wept
So safe in your arms, I finally slept

I want to wake, up
But not beneath this heavy burden
That has bled my bones
So tired and uncertain

But the birds
Build nests above my head
And they hold their homes together
I mimic their every thread
But I, unravel altogether
I need rest

I need a safe place for me to lay my head

I want to sink
Somewhere deep beneath the ocean
But I'll reach, my arms tall
Like the trees that tower over me
With their roots so planted deep
In the waters that are drowning
Let me sleep

Let me be

A whirlwind of strange
I've never spoken like this
And had someone know it like you do

I could fall in love with you
From your letters alone

Finally
Someone is speaking my language

My beautiful, terrifying, secret
Language

I've had this cloud of thoughts
Not fully assembled
Yet you see it all at once
So orchestrate the symphony

You know I will not yell it
So you try to translate
Like a childish game of telephone
Where the meaning dissipates

But I don't always mind,

As long as you are
Speaking my language

When I think about the way I let you feel me
And how you hurt me like they said you could
How you left in the moments they warned you would

I kick myself for the secrets I told you
When I held your hand
Standing under streetlights
When we weren't supposed to

So now im supposed to forget you?

You're a stamp on my back
I remember you when I take off all of my clothes
You're stained into certain street corners, certain weather

You always liked me better without glasses
Perhaps you knew of their rosey color
Well, I see now what you wanted me to be
Which was actually what you always were to me,

A persona.
Nothing but a persona.

You made me feel like a beautiful, brooding girl. You made me feel like you were falling in love with me. The star of some documentary: The Most Interesting Girl in the World.


I loved the way I looked in the reflection of your very dark eyes
How you made me into some untold mystery