If your voice could be injected
Or if way your lips feel on mine
Could be put into a pill,
I swear to god I'd never touch a drug
In my life.
If I could bottle the euphoric feeling
My mind gets
When your arms wrap around me,
I'd drink it, and be drunk daily.

And if I could bottle your disappointment
Or your despair
Or the way your face drops when you're feeling down,
I would be packaging the world's quickest suicide method.

In school they teach you
To watch yourself around controlled substances
And to stay away from peer pressure.
But they never mentioned the more dangerous drugs,
The ones you can't get rid of.
They never warned me about the drugs
With eyes that can see right into your soul
And repair a shattered heart
With just the feeling of its hand
In yours.
You are one of those drugs
And I am addicted.

Beautiful
Peaceful
Quiet.
They build vacation spots
And towns
Around me.
"Its inactive
It'll be fine".
Mysterious
In the way
That things are building up.
They visit me
And hold their breath
In awe.
And when I erupt
They run
As if they had no clue it would happen.
When I finally do
What I am meant to do,
They blame me
Call me a disaster and hide
As if they didn't know
That lava was inside.

If happiness is a choice
Then why aren't I choosing it?
If happiness is a choice
Then why do I keep losing it?
If I can pick laughter
Over the tears and the pain
Then why do I sit here
As they fall like rain?
If I could be lightning
Then why am I darkness?
If I could make myself begin,
Something other than chagrin,
Don't you think I would have started it?

Your eyes were liquid gold
And your lips were pink rose petals
Your arms were the stitches
That held me together.
Your ears were a catching mitt for all of my fears
Your shoulder was a sponge for all of my tears.
Your voice was a narcotic of which I was addicted
Your chest was a pillow for the head
That was most troubled.

And now your eyes
They haunt me at night
Your lips are a memory
Your arms are a fright to my mind.
Your voice is a guillotine
And your words are daggers
You dont miss me a bit
Which breaks me into peices and parts
And the loss of you
Is a direct connection
To the darkening of my heart

I've never liked the expression
'Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me."
I think it undermines the power of words
It's undeniable that words have an impact on people
Letters strung together can sting a person's soul
When they are spoken with a tongue used like a whip
Words evoke passion,
They inspire us,
Make our blood boil,
Horrify us,
And yes, they can hurt us
To say that words can't hurt,
Is to demean all that words do
Look at Marat,
Martin Luther,
Shakespeare,
Darwin,
Hobbes,
Freud,
Orwell,
Paine
And tell me words can't change the world
Words are what I turn to when I have nothing left
I'd rather my bones break,
That would be much better,
Than to lose my dignity,
To have a record of voices
Tell me I'm useless,
I'm stupid,
I'm fat,
I'm never good enough
Always on repeat,
Always on my mind,
Always ringing true
Maybe I'm over analytical
Maybe I care too much
About things said in the past
But here's to all the "I love you's"
All the "I hate you's"
To saying "I don't give a ****"
The pen is indeed mightier than the sword
Because your words
Are what made me turn the blade
On myself

When I'm with you, I understand
When you hug me, I have no doubt
I know you mean it when you hold my hand

But when I'm alone and self loathing takes over
And I think about all my insecurities
When I analyze myself in the mirror
I don't understand why you love me

I'm addicted to your hugs
Because our hearts are as close as they can be
And I swear my heart pumps blood
A little faster
When your arms are around me
And we are not two, but one