(what you can see)

when no one can see what you can see.
when no one can see what you can see.
when no one can see what you can see.

ender,
i said,
i know you don’t like dubstep,
but
this song, b r o
it’s ill

today i realized,
absurdly,
that this very foreign,
warm,
light
amazing feeling
is what the dictionary
or jeopardy would
refer to as
euphoria;
and i'm sorry,
but that's hilarious.

this dope ***
bright red yellow pink sun
in the rearview.
an energy, without doubt.
while she sings
"don't hurt yourself"
and i decide
i will try harder
not to,
and that i only want
the imaginary brand new
futuristic race car
if i can have it
with complete abandon -
sure in the knowledge
that it could be crumpled
and imperfect in minutes -
a loss a loss a loss.

i would only want it
if i could truly accept its destruction
the cryptic length of
enjoyment without worry.
then i could
race that machine
be that machine
love that m a c h i n e

i had a thought
to write a thing
but as soon as it emerged
it sunk again
back to the pool
of brewing ideas

a new song
and
suddenly time
has s l o w e d
the air is thick
skin is hot
breath is short
my body moves
differently and
suddenly he
is here,
inside this new soundtrack,
a beautiful figment
of daydream and memory.