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a m a n d a Dec 2019
it is incredibly h a r d
to see the blocks
in your own t h i n k i n g
a m a n d a Dec 2019
that day i mistook
a cheeto crumb
for a pill
a m a n d a Dec 2019
to t h i s day...
    to t h i s minute
i suddenly find myself
trying to find you
   in that song on repeat
       in the art
         in beautiful
           and tragic things.
(it's a hard place to be.)
   the last cry
never being
    the l a s t cry.
if i close my eyes
i can still remember
   i can still s e e
and it hurts more than anything
and i l o v e it more than anything
    when you feel just a little bit closer
   when the light is just right
and this song comes on
  and then i can see you right t h e r e
and feel for a moment
  the happiness i used to feel.
Capsize
Song by Emily Warren and Frenship

Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey
Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey

Up at night I'm awake 'cause it haunts me
That I never got to say what I wanted
Oh my God, oh my God
I'm not the same as I was with you
I would jump out my skin just to get you
Oh my God, oh my God

How could you have ever known
If I never let it show, now I just wanna know are you?

I'm fine
Drop tears in the morning
Give in to the lonely
Here it comes with no warning
Capsize, I'm first in the water
Too close to the bottom
I'm right back where I started
Said I'm fine

Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey
Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey

Your silhouette is burned in my memory
Rubble left from the moment that you left me
Oh my God, oh my God
And three words have never come easy
'Cause you're more than they ever could be
Oh my God, oh my God

How could you have ever known
If I never let it show, now I just wanna know are you?

I'm fine
Drop tears in the morning
Give in to the lonely
Here it comes with no warning
Capsize, I'm first in the water
Too close to the bottom
I'm right back where I started
Said I'm fine

Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey
Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey

I'm swimming up against the tide
Oh my God
I'm swimming but I'm getting tired
Oh my God
I'm swimming up against the tide
Oh my God
I'm swimming but I'm getting tired
Oh my God

Yeah, I'm fine
Drop tears in the morning
Give in to the lonely
Here it comes with no warning (No warning)
Capsize, I'm first in the water
Too close to the bottom
I'm right back where I started
Said I'm fine (Fine)

Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey (Said I'm fine)
Hey-ey-ey-ey-yeah
Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey
a m a n d a Dec 2019
|o r |
(why are you so rude?)


i'm listening
i'm thinking
i'm seeing
i'm hearing
i'm feeling
i'm processing
i'm analyzing
i'm remembering
i'm creating

- and -
i see
what you think i don’t see.
and i h e a r
what you think i don’t hear.

i'm breaking i t down
- and - tearing it a p a r t
/and/ putting it back together.

why?
what are you doing?

the more you TALK
the l e s s you listen
the less you \learn\
the less you u n d e r s t a n d
- and -
the less. you. know.

this is so old.
THIS is so tired.
this is SO b o r i n g
| a n d |
this is so
pre dict able.
a m a n d a Oct 2019
a s p a c e
that grows
s m a l l e r
and
smaller.
a m a n d a Sep 2019
good at not feeling
and not thinking about you
if i slip
heart thuds
light dims
i hear our low voices
the music floating
the air is hazy
soft smiles
hair in the light
fingers touching
lines on your face
and i am slipping
back back back
a m a n d a Sep 2019
in order to
r e f l e c t back
i like to be a m i r r o r
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