I am a moonlight merchant,
of myself
My flesh knows of no taboo
Entertainer of thoughts
A stage of satin sheets in darkened rooms, engaged with a red lipped, half grin
Keeping my secrets held aloft,
my dreams,
float with the tobacco smoke of my patrons
Where lies your smile?
He asks, as he loosens my bound curls so he can pull them in the art
I reply with another red, half grin
Thinking my smile was lost in the silken river of never
He removes his tye with nimble fingers, intending it as my chain
His eyes are ravenous wolves, making of me a lamb
I turn my face, and think of innocence drowned in twilight

They found an old man dead,
down the road
the other day,
He cut grass for a living
died **** eater in hand
Up by the church
Where did he go?
Are we all just
still lifes?
Stolen thoughts
and
Glimpses caught by the
eye of God?
Pieces of some clock
never put together
Seconds, of memories not accurate....

Into the Zambian Amythist
I glare,
with
pale blue eyes
And watch him
fall,
all around me
Pieces of nothing,
in purple thoughts
Sounds of imagined whispers,
trapped in quartz shimmers
in a
dusk,
never dreamt
Some lover
imagined,
never held,
Pieces of nothing,
in purple thoughts.....

Not reality
A passing thought
Fancied notion

Me,
Melancholy  muse

I'll sing for you
Dance for you
Play my strings for you

But you can never know me,

I am courtesan of the night
Lady of secrets
My soul is but a piece less than yours

Unwhole,
Ebony,
With scarlet bleeding through its cracks

You may touch my skin
Kiss my liquored lips
Unbind my hair,

But you will Never KNOW me

I exist only in the reflection of a tear drop
Soon to evaporate

"A Robert Palmer please, and two ultras for my friends here." sais the over weight man in pink golf shorts.
Of course sir
"I bet she purrs like a kitten between the sheets. Haha!" whispers the man sitting next to the pink golf shorts
"Look at that ***!", laughs the grey haired checkered shirt
"I'll smack it when she brings our order, bro.",replies pink shorts
Here is your Robert Palmer sir.
And two ultras.
WHACK!
Squeeze
They laugh

Head dropped
Tears fall
Shame felt

Yellow Haired Servant Girl

And there in, so much spoken
In a world ruled by the broken
Aloud, and silently, we scream
I prefer not reality, but the dream
Here, in this world, apart
The norm, is to bury ones heart
The echoes, of the burdened, so loud
And I, I would stay in the clouds
My heart honestly, is non-existant
And reality, I keep, at a distance
Time, bares no weight with me
All of it consumed, by a forgetful sea
Memoirs, of a time long since past
I remember, Forever, never lasts....

I don't know the realisation
of a vacation
of motivations

My own

Truth is rude
reality crude
Beauty eludes

This zone

So aviated
Emaciated
Unimancipated

Empty

Time escapes
Protruder rapes

I can't think
Thus I drink

There is no hope
To cope
Eternal rope

A necklace

A brace
Losing race
Hard case

I

Was YOUR vacation
Emancipation
Salvation

YOUR

I was your
Door
Floor

Your

Rug
Drug
Biting bed bug

Me

I can't fight
Not right
Can't take flight

Bottle of *****
Won't win just lose
Shades of blues

I cry
Lie
Wish I'd die

Complicate
Break
Fake

Feed me
Fear

In the darkness of the night,
Many secrets are kept
And under the woven rug of truth,
Many lies are swept

In the clock that keeps the time,
Many loves are lost
And with the blood of the innocent,
Is how love pays the cost

Into the sea of forgetfulness,
We toss the ties that bind
And in the heart of goodness,
It is evil that we find

In the bottom of Pandoras box,
Lies the last bit of hope found
And to the heartbreak that is love,
We are each and everyone bound

I'm that burn
Killing your smile
Turn you to ash
And I'll do it with style
Women like me,
Not a dime a dozen
Bend down for me, baby
Put your head in the oven
Crazy? Me?
You got that right
I'll light it up,
Burn it all through the night
Just when you think
The fires gone out
I'll wear your blood on my lips
With a grin, no pout
I'm that burn
Like vintage whiskey
Get closer baby,
C'Mon, kiss me~A

Every once in a while
We lift the veil to the soul
Some are filled with light
Mine is a deep, black hole

I've oft felt pieces missing
Lost in plain sight
Never understanding
The lacking there in of light

If you see the dark behind my veil
Please dont ask me to explain
For I can't understand myself
My answer would be in vain

I hide my darkness behind a smile
Painted red lips, and face
Hoping that in this black
I can finally find my place

We each have a destiny
You can find it, between wake and sleep
And in the hearts of lovers,
Where our lost secrets, we keep
We are reborn,
After each death
Though our past lives are forgotten
With our new life's first breath
There are destined lovers, to be loved
And past debts, we must repay
Every deed births our future,
Mundane things we do each day
With every ticking of the clock,
Every second turns to an hour
Thus, is our fate,
Unfolding petals, from destinys flower

We are but scorched women
Giving away pieces of our worn,
Paper hearts
Only to watch them burn with daydreams never lived
Crying tears of soot
Leaving trails of black
on once rosey cheeks
Our kisses, but ash
Painted red smiles
our masks
Souls of ebony,
traced with scarlet
We sing unheard songs
of glowing embers
Falling on deaf ears
Hearts not to be held
or touched
Ash falls apart with the softest breath

Scorched Women

You didn't listen to Stevie at dinner when she told you,
" now here you go again you say, you want your freedom"
Well, who am I to keep to down?
Sign your record deals
You didn't let my long sleep last
It was warm
and
blue rose buds
The hopscotch grid faded
with falling rain
lightening,
Your hands were water
in the desert
And I,
I need the cicadas
The green things
quiet
Black breezes
Blue roses
And cicadas
My tears
are
******* and whisky
You,
are the infections
of the
Uninsured
And trump is
King
Die now
if you've any sense
But never forget
The blue roses
And
Black breezes...

Take your quill,
Dip it in my ink
Look me in the eyes,
Dont look away or blink
Write me a love poem,
Whisper it in my ear
Make me so hot,
My skin starts to sear
Make love to me on paper,
With your written words
Make my lust soar higher,
Than even the birds
Then when you're finished,
Use propper punctuation
It makes my body throb,
Takes my lust, to the highest elevation

I envy your heart,
Its beating

I lost mine
P
  I
    E
       C
          E
By piece
A dried up and dead rose
All that remains

No matter the amount of blood I've spilt
Trying to fill my veins

I see you have rosy cheeks, a smile
May I borrow them,
Just for awhile?

I may return
Yet
More likely burn

But your rosey cheeks,
How they invite

I'm hungry
Give me just
        A
B
  I
   T
     E~A

Yes, they don't invite me to dinner
They look at me strangely
Like I'm in the zoo
And they've paid to see
I smile
Fake,
Hope it was worth the money
I don't want your
overweight hubby,
Honey,
I'm the goodbye girl
Touch me,


Then leave

I love her
Not in a ****** way, but
She's my friend, my friend
She helps me so much
For 7 years Ive known her
Laughed and cried with her
She hugs me and my daughter
Makes sure my house is in order
She has capabilities that I do not
I fear for her
She isn't supposed to be here
With her brown skin and Spanish tongue
She works hard
And I love her
And I'm so afraid for her
I don't understand fences
Or "papers of belonging", citizenship
I was born privileged
Free and white
In America
Because my ancestor came here 340 years ago
And begat generation after generation of my blood
I wonder if he had to have papers?
Her journey here nearly killed her
Sent by her mother, with a bottle of water and an aluminum foil wrapped sheep sandwich
Across the dessert
For just the idea of a better life
She was 16 Then
I love her
And by the GOD that loves every colour and nation,
I'll marry her before I let her be dragged into one of those big vans they put "illegals" in

Ive licked sin straight from your lips
Tasted your forbidden fruit
****** the lies dry within you
Drained you of your truth
Looked at you right in the eye
As you writhe naked on the floor
And the evil that dwells inside me
Can only whisper "more"

She said she had her "Free papers"

Green cards
Walls
Chains

Let me ask you,
But this one question,
or perhaps a few
When you walk the fields
see the flowers,
Do you say, cut down the yellow ones
save the pink ones?
Pick the purple pansies,
lay waste to the red ones?
When you plant flowers,
Do you say
One is less than the other,
because of differing beauty?
Do you like the rainbow,
given all it's colours?
Are all those colours,
not what makes it so beautiful?

Two hundred years ago,
We called them "Free Papers"
Today,
We call it a green card

Flesh and Flesh
Is what we are.

Crying tears of acid,
Beneath the burning sky
Watching with rage, the glowing embers
That seem to smile, floating by
Wishing for the doom,
Of everything in sight
Ripping the heart of innocence out,
Hungrily taking a bite
Deep within the folds,
Of my souls hidden pages
I hear the mournful cry of love lost
As the battle for goodness wages

In the great akashic records
Where mankind's secrets are kept
Is recorded every word spoken
Every tear wept

It is a timeless record
Of every sound uttered
Every love given
Every hateful word muttered

It keeps track of every soul created
All the lives past
Things that are forever
Things that do not last

It is the collective unconsious
Of every living thing
All that is real
And everything dreamed

Some have given name to it
As the great book of life
Where the creators record
Every good deed, and all our strife

Know that in our lives
Everything matters
Every deed is recorded in a book
And the pages, will never tatter

I placed my hope between the wings of honey bees
To watch them fly away with it
My dreams, upon stars glittering in the velvet beyond
They've long since fallen
Thoughts of life,
given to butterflies, only to poison them
Voice, placed in a crows mouth
Only a caw
Any beauty in my possession
went to the gargoyles, they needed it more
My heart, I so gently laid upon the flower petals
Then winter came
My Love,
I climbed the mighty oak,
And placed it in the leaves
To watch it fall, leaf by leaf,
turning to dust
in the cold~A

I'd like an explanation please,
If you wouldn't care to take the time
Tell me why I drink so much
And feel life isn't worth a dime

Please, take just a few seconds
Realise I'm sending out a plea
I'll pay you for your time,
If you'll just listen to me

Understand my whispers
Are really hidden screams
Reality is so visceral
But nightmares replaced my dreams

Tears have turned to blood
In the ocean they drown
No matter the number of prayers
My soul remains hell bound

Please explain this darkness
Why the sun will never shine
And why it is that I give
But no heart will ever be mine

Can you sit with me a moment
And not see the ugly I hide
Just speak of smiles and truth
Could you kindly abide?

And when the sun passes
over this weeping tree
When the dark of night takes over
Could you just maybe remember me?

On this earth I've wandered
For nearly a thousand years
I'm tired, nothing new
Nothing left to fear
People always ask
Where they've seen my face
Well, a portrait of me does hang
In a museum in Paris place
And another in London,
Beautifully framed with grace
In Paris, my own selfportrait
With my little girl, you see
I was then known as Madame
Elizabeth Vigre Labrun
That was my favorite time, back in 1783
Then again I was painted as "Circe"
By Sir Edward Burne-Jones
That was the year 1880
God rest Sir Edwards bones
By the year 1919
When all the world was at war
I set sail for America
To see what else time had in store
I've changed my name and place
Hundreds of thousands of times
The only things that have stayed the same
Are my loves, art and rhyme
I decided on the name Amanda
To use in this day and age
I try so hard to fit into this modern book
My worn and tattered page

When sleep can't find me, I guess because I'm camofluoged and fit too well in the night
(After all, sleep does have its eyes closed)
I make the 25 minute drive down to "L" street.
I sit on my old bench in that ****** fake park with the lined up giant rocks and the one weeping cherry tree. City counsels gift to the street ******, rapists, thieves  and drug peddlers.
  I watch, I listen and sip my whisky. L street is the worse part of town here. There's an asylum on one side of the corner, a bank on the other. Red light number 3. People are always lined up in front of the asylum. I suppose for little blue pills.
  Further down the row of crumbling bricks, is a cafe that plays live music on Friday and Saturday nights and across from that is a pool hall that sells green hotdogs. On the other side of the pool hall, is an empty building with my tobacco lady painted on the side of it. And my "bitchs bench", as I call it, sits beside that.
My mother has always raised immortal hell about my going there. Day or night. "You'll get *****, hooked on the "L" pills or murdered. Dont come crying to me when it happens", she sais. But as much time as I've spent there, I've spoken with more than a few of those "undesirables" and they all have a story of such pain and heart break. Or they're just mentally ill.
They're daisies. That didn't grow upright in this field of life. They tripped.
  My "L" street,
is where the daisies tripp.

You see, I know what's real and not
To some degree
I know you're lovely,
crazy beautiful,
Honey in the sun

I have eyes
Ears
I know I'm weird
Hell,
I argue with my daughter over which toys are hers and mine
To play with

Ive tasted "store honey"
And "wild honey"

You
Are
Wild Honey

I wish to drip You
On my dry tongue

Steal you,
from the bees

Keep your golden self
In my glass jar

But,

You,
Are
Wild honey

I'll be Pinky
If you'll be The Brain
I'll be the yin,
If you'll be The Yang
You can be my Tylenol,
If I can be your pain
We can open up Pandoras Box,
Refusing to explain

You can be my sunshine,
If I can be your rain
You can be my therapist,
God knows, I'm insane
You can be my Moon,
If I can be your star
Together, we could be Mr. Petty,
In a **** fast car

You could be my ocean,
If I could be your sand
You could be the right,
And I'll be the left hand
You could be the silence,
I could be the scream
And you, could be my ice,
If I can be your cream~A

Blue skies
Sunny days
Children's laughter
Heard miles away
Dimpled cheeks
Golden hair
Blue eyes
Sparkle so fair
Scraped knees
Bumble bees
Bird's singing
From tops of trees
Afternoon glasses
Tall with sweet tea
This is what Spring means
Only to me

There was a gas station down the street
From where I used to live
I would go there to people watch
Late at night
Always interesting what with the addicts and drunks
The cashier was a skinny guy
Continually smiling, warm
I never spoke to him,
When he talked, I listened
He never questioned me
I watched
I'd buy one can of Mountain Dew
Sit on the bench outside
Watch
Till my mountain dew was gone
Then I'd walk home
The very last night I went there,
Seven years ago
The cashier guy, he was always so gentle,
Smiling, warm
I walked over to him
I kissed him
Long, and with love
I kissed him,
And he kissed me back
I've never seen him again
I think about him,
His brown, side swept hair and kind eyes
I think I loved him
I wish I'd asked his name

I purchased an iron fairy,
she dances for me
upon my coffee table

Her wings,
always intact

She's coloured blue
Lake blue
Her tag said

She shall never break,
nor fade,
with the passage of time

Or so I'm told
by the department store of Macy's
from which, she was sold

She will dance
till God comes back

And I,
I'll watch...
As I do

My daughter will play with her
I've named her
And play with her Too

That blue, iron fairy
belongs to me
As I once belonged to others.....

And she's lucky
that
Iron fairy

The profound ignorance in a society gone mad
Obsessed with the sight of blood, naked skin, sad
Any murdering ***** is upheld and bejeweled
The thought of a good ****, and everyone is fooled
Worship the sinner
Spit on the saint
Don't remove the rust
Just cover it with paint
Smile wide
While you take it up the ***
Do I want seconds?
No thanks
I'll pass
No one today
Dares to speak the truth
Its considered impolite
Quite rude and uncouth
But dont mind me
Or the words I say
For I'm just a minor
In this life's ****** play

Awful
Black butterfly,
Lacking even the blue dots,
worn upon the wings
ripped off by smiling children at play
I dwell in the shadows of low light
I'm forlorn and forbidden
Alone
My feast,
contains saline and salty tears
Unloved
Grasped by unpoetic hands in the stillness of midnight
No matter how pretty
How soft
What expensive things I decorate my unholy self with
I dwell alone
One of many
Forlorn, forbidden things

Numb
The need to feel,
Anything
So I wandered
Till I found wild innocence
Dressed his young lips in liquor
Filled his youthful ears with dark whispers
His sense of smell with chanel
His lust with my skin
And for the briefest of moments,
I felt
Inhibited
Full
Shame with the sunrise
But still
Wanted,
Inhibited

I sent him away
with the opening of the sun's golden eye
Resting alone.....

You are the puppet master
My heart,
On your strings
And in the darkest echoes,
The silence of my heart, rings
There is no more beating,
You've drown it, in black ink
All I can do is watch
The waves that cover, as it sinks

I let a stranger in,
to ******* bitter fruit
I silenced his gun,
Told him to shoot
Gave him my body
Wrapped him in my vine
Kept my dark heart
It's black, but it's mine
We danced our skin dance
Till we saw the sun rise
I feel no shame
No need for more lies
I'll do as I will
An it harm none
I've been set free
My will,
Be done~A

I'm afraid common sense,
Sadly, has died
Invitations were sent,
But very few replied
It was even announced,
In the papers, on the news
I guess everyone was too busy,
With Donald Trump interviews
Mysterious, I think
That the day of the inauguration,
Common sense met,
Its final destination

He was in a cafe across the tracks,
Leaning against an ancient, crumbling brick wall
The sun hung low through the window showing off a gold halo in his hair
On his lap he held his six string,
Gently strumming a soft tune
She watched, from just inside the brick archway
The guitar mans lips were red as a bleeding rose
He gave her a glance, sideways, showing her a colour of blue she'd never seen before
Her breathing stopped
Moving forward, entranced, toward the strumming siren
She couldn't help herself
Her deft movements, won her a second glance, and half a smile
Yet, still he played on
And it became clear then, he already held his only love
He was, after all,
A guitar man

My love, my heart,
Lives in a world of shadows
Secret things
Very few know
A woman only of
Night
All the things that matter to me
Kept out of sight
My love, my deeds,
Deemed unholy
Evil deeds
Spread,
Only by the moonlight
He keeps me there,
In the darkest corners, of his stone heart
His Lady Of Nights
Never to part

Standing, in the gathering darkness
in the fading light of the bleeding sun,
Hooded and cloaked,
amongst the dying trees
Golden cursed tears of scattered forever,
Falling from white eyes,
ringed in black
Decisions to stay held
aloft,
A leaf blown through out time on the breeze of
Eternity
Or,
To wake a heart, cursed with forever
Knowing
That the bearer of such a cursed heart
Will fade, as the colour of a rose lain upon an immortal grave
Dying trees can't speak
and reflections held in mortal tears
Evaporate~A

You're dying, you know
Your memory
The way you smell
Almost gone
The flecks of colour in your eyes
Are fading
The callouses on your hands against my bare skin
Did that ever happen?
Your voice,
Could've been the wind,
Or a crows call
You're dying
If not for the sound of your heart,
Still beating in my ear,
You'd be dead already
The memory of you will fade,
And fade
A memory of a memory
I will forget your smile,
The sound of your voice,
I'll forget the way you always smell like freshly cut grass
The way you look in orange
But the sound of your heart beating,
When I laid my head on your chest. . . . .

We work,
"Twerk"
Not so much
we don't ******* and such
We're mothers,
Lovers
June Cleavers
And when we have to be, leavers
We cook, we clean,
When need be, we're mean,
"Crazy *****" sometimes
but you can't buy us with dimes
We'll stand for you, and
F
A
   L
     L
We always give our ALL
When we love, We give our everything
and a good woman is immune to "Bling"
We take things slow,
but only to show
We got this
So for you men, don't be stupid and miss
We can't all walk in heels
And we can't all cook gourmet meals
We aren't all pretty and petite,
But when we love, we'll give what you need
A Real Woman, will never stray
and in your hands, her heart will stay
We'll always be faithful and kind,
So when we speak, please don't be blind
A REAL WOMAN always gives a second chance
Because that's The tune, in a REAL WOMANS dance~A