"Promise me, that even when I'm gone, you won't do anything stupid or reckless.
Promise me you will be safe."

When the world is spinning and falling apart in front of your eyes,
it's hard to promise anything more than the truth.

"Cross my heart," I whispered, grinning,
"and hope to die".

And for the last time I saw you smile back at me.
And you never thought twice about it.

When I kissed you for the first time, it wasn't how I had imagined it.

The plan was to bring you flowers, and beg you on my knees.
Take me in, give me a chance.
Fall in love with me.

I was drunk, greedy,
Bursting with a lust you wouldn't feed.

I drank so much ***** I couldn't see more than the space you left between us, and when I found your lips I kissed you hard,
And it wasn't romantic like I meant it to be.

You were falling though, according to plan. Your fingers traced my back, and you cried when you found me falling too,
But to the bathroom floor, red cup still in my hand,
Instead of falling for you.

I'm deeply sorry for that kiss,
And how I let it land.
When you pulled away, and you left me there,
I didn't understand.
It's taken me months, but I'm sober now.

I kissed you because I was lonely,
I was wasted and out of my mind,
You were drunk and speaking yours.

But you left because you loved me.

I'll never understand it
I'll never know why
somehow we've stayed together
after all of this time
tearing each other apart
with so many fights
words rip at the heart
so many sleepless nights
I reject you
I'm cruel
We say things
We don't mean
I'm sorry
I forgive you
will you forgive me?
and you do
it's that simple
I guess we were meant to be
so many storms come in
violent winds strike
this house must be made of stone
if it's strong enough to survive
imperfect together
you slip I fall
to really love each other
I guess you have to risk it all

Think before you;
Talk
Text
Approach
Wave
Look
Move
Breathe
Exist

Because you'll probably end up;
Making a fool of yourself
Doing something stupid
Making yourself sound idiotic
Bothering him
Making him not like you
Hating yourself
Wanting to disappear
Wishing you hadn't.

A headache from earlier
Puts shame into my brain.
No, I can't control myself
I am completely reckless
But you don't know that.

You do know that I can't do it
Not even after you've done
All and more than you could do
Disappointment hides behind your eyes
And I know you feel that way.

I wish I could just make you proud the way you want me to.

Death. It’s a romantic idea, really. Quiet and mysterious. An escape. A way out. A perfect vision. Dark, yet so light. Cold, yet so warming. Gone, yet still there. Sad, yet happy. Death is an amazing dream. A simple dream really. It helps people. It brings people to remember not to take life for granted. It brings people together. Yet, it tears people apart. Because, everybody always wants someone to blame besides themselves. Or they want the attention of saying it was all their fault that they weren’t there when they should have been. It kills me.