And I swear to God
That the passion burned
more fierce than it has in a
long time as
her words scorched hot
across the night sky
and left burns upon
my tattered soul
only to leave scars that
I would not forget.

There was somebody out there.

You walked out the door and I fell apart.
I know you'd never leave me, but the last one did.
You raised your voice and I began to cry.
I know you'd never hurt me, but the last one did.
You raised your hand and I flinched.
I know you'd never hit me, but the last one did.

I know it bothers you for me to act this way.
My record's been scratched and I don't know if I can play.
Maybe I can forget and start over new.
So forgive me, baby, because I've not had someone like you.

I am to be wed
To a man who is loved by all but not by me
We are promised together by the king
But my King above did not make him for me

My heart belongs to the man meant to entertain
The man in the funny suit
The man who is pushed around
The man who is meant to be laughed at
But my love is being forced to the man in the shiny armor
The one who stands so valiantly next to the throne
The man whose looks are undeniably flawless, although,
His fancy words do not fool me
Because he is a man who loves the title I have
Not me

But thoughts like these are forbidden
For the man who makes me smile is a peasant
And I am the daughter of the one who rules
I am no different than the land
For we all have to follow without question

So here I sit in my white dress
Silently in misery
As the man who has my heart performs for me and my groom

When it hurts, you write it down
When something feels right, you write it down
When your heart breaks, you write it down
When you love someone beyond words, you write it down

Welcome to the mind of a poet
Where pain and love create a masterpiece

Sweetheart, don't blame me if I'm not the typical girl.
I won't tip toe around puddles,
I'll pull you in with me.
I won't pick around my food,
I'll pile my plate high.
I won't be embarrassed to make a stupid face.
I'll open up like a book in front of you,
And I'll be yours to read.
I'll do all this only if you do the same for me.

God I don’t talk
about you anymore.
But God I think about
you when it’s necessary.
I think about you
every time I drive
by Lourdes.
I do that every day.
They taught you to me there.
I heard your name
more times a day than
I heard my own.
I think about those
poor little Catholic
kids, who didn’t have a
choice in the way they
believed in you.
Nothing was on our
terms.
There were no exceptions
to our thoughts.
Nothing was right
until we found a Psalm
about it.

God
I think about you
in between asleep
and awake.
When part of me
remembers the Sunday
I went to church
only to be force fed
the Pro-Life agenda.
God I respect
humans.
God they didn’t respect
us.
God I was too afraid
to ask questions.
God their eyes
looked like hate.
God I don’t want
to go to hell.

My Bible
has been sitting
on my closet floor
for a year and a half.
I’m too afraid
to open it
for fear I’ll find
fire and brimstone
in between the Beatitudes
and the Passion.

God I believe in you
I believe in love
I believe in kindness
I believe in life
I believe in good vibes
I believe in fate.
God I believe in everything.
I knelt by my bed
tonight
and prayed
for everything little
Catholic girl
who’s thinking everything
I did.
I understand none of it
and I pray that she will.