inter vivos razorwire
                                  tumbling
            ­                                     through leaves
contact lenses never found
                                            bending
       ­                                                  sunlight
nobody cares about strife
                                          bleeding
       ­                                                 alone
plastic avalanche screaming
                                               frozen
                                                          ­   starving
dampened crisis calls us home
                                                  beating
  ­                                                            nowhe­re

I do the best with what I have
But I wonder if that’s enough
A call to sin greater than I can handle
I punish myself with misery

My own self-loathing,
The devil and I discuss
God desires so badly to speak to me
But I’m in the middle of a conversation!

Like a parent to a child
I talk down to God
Like the mouths of babes
Are not worth listening to

I know better
I do
I swear
I made four lines starting with “I” right there

I said St. Francis’s prayer without any help
My brain is better than I thought
God grant me grace and serenity
Fly me away from the Reavers

Shear, pointed razor sharp claws
Digging into me like a fish hook caught on my lip.
....Intentionally, crushing my jaw and my ability to speak.

Always and forever, I will hold on to you like a life raft.
Why?  When your words stab me like a dagger in my heart.
Your tongue like a serpent, seeking revenge and harm to me.

Brilliant, you once were.
Severely handsome and crafty, like a gentleman not of this age.
Now your smile makes me sick.

But here I am and here you are.  
Seemingly stuck without a way out.
You want to get rid of me, and I can't imagine life without you.

I can't even leave the house without some type of consequence.
How can that be right?
I'm not perfect either, but let's be realistic.

It's just a matter of time
Before your memory fades away
It's just a matter of moments,

.....................................Until I'm gone to stay.

Today marks three years since the accident--
Three years since he lost control of the plane,
Losing every single life, and barely escaping death himself.
This particular evening, the wind is blowing fiercely
As he drives into the city to meet his fiancé.
It's only 6 o'clock, but the sun is nowhere to be seen;
Absolute darkness overwhelms the landscape.
He is growing tired, and pulls to a rest stop for coffee,
But it is locked. how strange, he thought to himself.
He hears the voices of others, but no one is in sight.
The voices crescendo from whispers to blood curdling screams
As he makes his way back to the car.
Suddenly, he feels a distinct hand on his shoulder,
And another firmly cutting off his airways.
A blinding light illuminates everything,
Revealing, in the window, the hand to be his own.

She was alone
Oh so terribly alone .
She wondered who to call
If they would help or didn't care.
She was but a humble maiden
Had no delusions of grandeur.
She knew she had faults
Maybe more than the normal maidens.
She sat on her balcony
Watched the world go on.
She never went out.
Oh no she couldn't venture
Into the fold of humanity.
They were known to be picky
What if they didn't embrace her?
With her old fashioned mannerisms
And odd way of speaking.
She swung her bare feet.
Watching them move forward
And imagined she was marching
In a band somewhere.
Following music to a beat
Purposeful and deliberate.

She needed a friend
But how to go about collecting one
should she place an advert like she had seen in papers?
Or go to the fairs and wriggle her way into a group
What if they asked from whence she came?
And so she watched from afar.
admired a couple walking hand in hand
The boy pushing her hair out of her face
The girl looking up and smiling at something he said.
What she wouldn't give to feel normal.
Instead she kept house and world
Carrying the burdens of both.
For someone needed to protect humanity
From the cruelty of life.
She had a job to do
And so remained alone.

I think
Zen has been taught
all wrong
for a long time,
because the common understanding
is that Zen gives you
peace of mind,
an empty mind,
a mind which doesn't think,
and other such hogwash,
so I can explain
what Zen meditation
does to me,
and that is
that it brings up
much chi energy
to my head,
because of the way
that the eyes are fixed
and the posture
and the breathing
and the mantra,
and so
the mind becomes
stronger, more powerful,
more active,
not more peaceful
and passive,
and as such
it is conducive
to such phenomena
as internal music,
much thinking,
channeling,
telepathy and psychic powers,
seeing things,
hearing things,
and imagining things,
therefore
if you are getting into Zen
for peace of mind,
you've gone
to the wrong place.

You said the anger would come back
just as the love did.

I have a black look I do not
like. It is a mask I try on.
I migrate toward it and its frog
sits on my lips and defecates.
It is old. It is also a pauper.
I have tried to keep it on a diet.
I give it no unction.

There is a good look that I wear
like a blood clot. I have
sewn it over my left breast.
I have made a vocation of it.
Lust has taken plant in it
and I have placed you and your
child at its milk tip.

Oh the blackness is murderous
and the milk tip is brimming
and each machine is working
and I will kiss you when
I cut up one dozen new men
and you will die somewhat,
again and again.