I will never forget
the moment when
you told me you love me
I think of it again and again

My heart soared
because I love you too
I've never felt such joy,
such rightness there with you

The words that had been
on the edge of my lips
were finally free
to dance out (with a kiss)

How wonderful!
How divine!
I love you,
and you are all mine!

My heart is split
exactly in two
Half is soaring
and half longs to be with you

I am not good
at saying how I feel
But I am alright
at writing it down

And so
I have written down
a few
(of the many)
Things that I love
about you

I love how your arms
are the hardest spot to leave
and the absolute
best
to come home to

I love how your eyes
sneak glances at mine
when you make a quick joke
that nobody will notice
but me

I love how you make me feel safe
how you ask
how you care about the answer
how much I know
I can trust you

I love how you have courage with me
(courage I wish
that I had with you)
How you take my hand
How you kiss my nose
How you invite me
to be with you

So I suppose
it's about time
I let you know
something on my mind

It happened slowly
then all at once
and I can't help but think about it
all the time

Now I'm afraid
that it will dance
from my heart
to my lips
and jump right on out
when I'm least expecting it

So before I'm blindsided
by my own silly self-
Dear John,
I love you.

For a while I've been wondering
when I'd be sure

and boy am I sure now

it happened all at once

and now
when I see you
or you make an appearance
in my daydreams

I can't help but think
I love you,
I love you,
I love you!

(and I hope
and I think
that you love
me too)

I noticed that I have been drawing stars everywhere recently

In the margins of my paper,
on the inside of my wrist,
traced softly against
the back of your neck

I wasn't sure why
until I got into bed last night
and looked up
at the plastic stars
dancing across my ceiling

And I instantly thought
of how it felt
to look up at those stars
snuggled tight within your arms

They're almost as dazzling
as those tucked within your eyes

And I think that I'm still so blinded
that I see their outline
every time I blink

and I cannot help
but sketch them out
whenever I get the chance

friendship happens
when you're neglecting to do
what you're supposed to do

I like it when
You leave a trail of kisses
On my shoulder
And my cheek
And my forehead
And of course
(you know this for certain)
my nose

I wish I could map together
The constellations you have drawn

For I am sure they are beautiful
Like those sparkling in your eyes

I walk down the dark sidewalk
Passing through the glow of street lamps
Which show me the first drops of rain
Before I can even feel them

I'm wearing suede shoes
That aren't meant for the rain

And I cannot call home
Because I'm not meant to be out so late

So I put in my earbuds
And turn on a love song
Far too cheerful for this time of night

I watch my rain-splattered suede shoes
Step one in front of the other
Along with the gleeful beat

On a sidewalk speckled with raindrops
Like the night sky speckled with stars

And I smell the dark air
Full of spring and the scent of wet pavement

And I think to myself,
This is where I'm meant to be

(Along with your arms,
which I just begrudgingly left,
bidding a hopeful,
"see you soon")

now
for the first time
I can hear in the silence
echoes of where
those three words
soon will be

When you kiss my nose
softly
then look in my eyes

I think that nothing the world
could possibly taste
as sweet
as this feels

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder

That may be true
But for me

It also makes my body grow restless,
My thoughts grow nostalgic,
My self-control grow weak

As every part of me longs
To be with you

I have never felt this way before

My heart
it's singing

My head
can't help
but sing along

Like the breeze
that tosses my hair
this way and that

Thoughts of you
blow on by
and my mind
collapses
into your melody

Always subject to your wind
my thoughts have
slipped
out of my control

But I don't mind

My mind is like a film
screening our best moments-
the way you whispered in my ear as we danced
the way my heart leapt when you asked me to see a movie
the way you kissed my forehead, my head resting on your chest.

Throughout the day
thoughts of you
bubble up

and they make me smile,
and sing,
and feel like I could float off into the air

Our movie is brief right now,
but boy do I hope this is just the beginning.

When times are tough,
and waves of hurt come crashing on my shores,
the simplest things become my friends
and they mean everything

A song
humming out words of comfort
the tune, rocking me like a cradle

A story
with characters who I love
battling for justice, and goodness, and light

A prayer
speaking of peace
feels like a hand holding mine

They are with me
We are all together

These sources of love,
God, I could not be more grateful for them.

I wonder how much time each person spends looking at the sky.

It’s pretty miraculous that
Every single gaze
Is repeatedly pulled to the vast expanse above
From all corners of the earth

It is incontestably necessary.

I wonder if the sky can see us too
If it knows of its great beauty
Of its pull, its allure

Or perhaps not

But what cannot be disputed
Is the fact that it is beautiful
And it unites us all
The great ceiling of our home
Fills each and every soul with wonder
Each and every one

What a curious thing
it is to be

you know how songs will simply slip into their natural rhythm?
the opening notes have rung,
the first verse has just become an echo,
and the music falls right into place
just the way it is supposed to
as the beat picks up to carry the tune along

in the same way
i have fallen into your arms
just the way i am supposed to
at just the right time
and boy does it feel right

you are my home.
you are my safe place.
no matter where the winds take me
i know i may always fly back to you
and your warm embrace
reaches all the way
to touch my heart

breath is like the ocean
it creeps in
and cascades out into a gusty wave

listen

when they cross my mind
i feel like
my arms are being squeezed into a hug
and my cheeks are sore from being pulled into a thousand smiles
and my lips are bursting with giggles
and my heart is warm and content

i feel love

Tonight the sky looked like a watercolor painting

The clouds were broad strokes of cream
gently brushed across the bright backdrop
of warm oranges and nurturing blues

The moon was a glistening orb
it looked magical
winking at me from its milky cradle

My stereo hummed out a tune about love
as I winded down the roads
to see every corner of this beautiful piece of art

Love was on my mind
a smile was on my face
and in moments like this
I cannot help but believe in You.

Thank you.
Thank you for revealing yourself to me in ways that I never could have predicted.
Thank you for introducing me to your loving spirit in the hearts of these girls.
Thank you for the opportunity to learn, share, and grow closer to you.
Thank you for giving me another chance to honor you.
Thank you for allowing me to lead others towards finding you.
Thank you for always being with me in this crazy life.
Thank you for the ups and downs, and thank you for each lesson and blessing you have brought to me in the process.
You have blessed me with so much, and I will take this chance to act in your name, in the name of love, and to spread your spirit the best that I can.
Amen.

I am an early afternoon,
A setting sun that holds endless possibilities.

I am a floral swing dress one day,
And skinny jeans with heels the next
I am a carefully crafted outfit that represents me, even if it’s too much.

I am winter,
Bringing people together to find warmth and love.

I am purple,
A compromise between red and blue,
A modest yet captivating shade.

I am the soft flannel sheets that keep me warm in bed.

I am the hopeful, loving, giving spirit of Christmas.

I am the cross that symbolizes values and promises.

I am the chocolate cake that makes you forget everything else and just smile.

I am Dobby, always trying to do the right thing for my friends.

I am the sound of a crackling fireplace,
Quiet enough to let your mind roam free, but loud enough for you to know that I’m here to keep you warm.

to find something in everything
to savor each day
to look into people's eyes
to stand up straight
to create and be proud of my creations
to shut my eyes, will out my doubts, and jump
to sing
to open myself to others
to listen, and to learn
to wear it, even if it's too much
to laugh until I cry
to live out love.

The world is anew!
Love and joy are all around
My smile's here to stay.

my mind is in shackles.
no matter how hard i try to break free from your grasp
i have no choice but to think of you.

my body is electric.
i try to tell myself to relax, have patience
but my fingers tap, my heartbeat quickens.

you have a hold on me.
the slightest breeze in the air reminds me of you,
and then all my control blows away too.

all day long
my eyelids are doors
that want nothing more than to close,
my mind is a light
dimmed and flickering just before it goes out,
and my body is wind on a summer day,
slow, calm, dissolved.

but the second night falls,
everything awakens.

Like bubbles racing to the top of an opened soda can,
all my thoughts
and dreams
and ideas
and worries
and doubts
and excitements
and fears
come surging up from the depths of my being
and begin to bounce and fizzle within my mind.

How can I sleep now?

I plant so many seeds
With a smile on my face

Eagerly water them
And admire them from the window

But from the window I see all the buds
And my excitement turns to panic

How can I tend to all these flowers?
How could one be expected to do this?

I turn from the window
And never look back.

Now and again I think of my flowers
As if they were frozen just how I left them- as blossoms.

But deep down I know better,
They have withered away.

To distract from this
I turn to a new field

There is a daisy!

How lovely it would be

If there were a whole field of daisies!


And so it begins.

words are music
words are grace

words are knives
leaving wounds without a trace

words can inspire
and words can ****

merely a collection of sounds
with which power we fill

so use your words wisely
think before you speak

for words are indeed
the furthest thing from weak

time is a fascinating concept
one that i seem to grasp for a moment
but in another moment
it is an abstract idea once more

time moves along swiftly
ticking on and on
with no regard
to what it is passing by

time is greedy
it takes everything it touches
everything that we do, say think,
time will take

yet we have conquered time in certain ways
we have fought its persistent arms
using memory as our weapon

memory creates immortality
and it is for that reason that time's captives,
the past,
live on.

humans try
foolishly
to create their own gravity

the beauty around them
they claim
drawing it in
artificially
as if it exists
only to affect them

silly, isn't it?

I know you're gone,
but yet you're still here.

I can feel your presence
in my heart so near.

When I most need strength
I find it in you.

I have found my purpose:
to live life for you.

You are in me,
of this I am sure

For when I feel alone or scared
you come to me as a cure.

I hear your voice,
I feel your love,

and in those dark moments,
I know you are smiling at me from above.

Time has passed
and I still shed a tear

But I know you are with me,
a little bird in my ear.

alone and scared
you didn't turn away
i clung to you

the fear left
i had you,
i had you.

then it changed.
your head started to turn

i tried to hold your gaze
but it was returned
with a scowl

alone once more
but this time different

my companion-
memories

i remembered your smile
i remembered your glare
i remembered your embrace
i remembered your shadow
i remembered my security
i remembered my pain

what did i do?

mysteries intricately laced within

layers
blanket me
and pulsing heartbeats
resonate in rhythm with my soul

i can hear the sound of my keyboard tapping
or pencil upon paper
or the wind rustling leaves on trees
but i can hear music.

it washes over me
creeps into my crevices
seeps into my skin
and infuses my heart

i can't help but feel

my heart
either
weeps or
laughs or
smiles
along with
the rhythm

my body slips into movement
i have no control
the music has a hold over me

i learned that sound waves carry energy and information

isn't that the truth.

i was in *******.

the insides of walls were all i could see
day in and day out
re
lent
less.

the persisting darkness and pain seemed as though it would never end

but alas, here I am.

Free.

Free to breath,
Free to smile,
Free to live.

As Abraham Lincoln emancipated the slaves,
O, College Board,
the time has finally come for you to set me free.

you can't control
your outside


peel back a layer
and there you will find
who you are

My fingers are tentative

They hover above the keyboard
for far too long,
constantly straying back to that
****** key,
delete.

Nothing comes out right.

Tap, tap, tap
my fingers tap the counter
my pinky taps < delete >

I'm desperate for the right words
but today they evade me.

Why are we all so sad?
Smiles used to grace our faces
as easily as we breathe air

but now it seems as though even that is hard.

Everyone is...
broken.

This world wears you down
the darkness blankets us
it creeps in
dimming our light

Smiles are rare stars

Admire their beauty

Try
Try
Try
To add to the night sky
With a smile of your own

We can form a constellation.

i don't write haikus
but i love their simplicity

i messed it up

Sometimes I feel guilty for writing about me
"I this, I that..."
It makes me feel selfish.

But why?
Writing about how I feel helps me understand myself
So why does this make me feel uncomfortable?

I think that I feel obligated to write about something more worthwhile
and valuable

But I need to start believing that I am a worthy enough subject.

I am confused and uncomfortable right now
But I am on my way towards being able to say,
"I"
with confidence.

The storm has passed

Where's the rainbow?
Aren't I supposed to feel
new?

I feel shaken.

I can smell the salty tears on my pillow

It's damp on my cheek

How can I sleep now?

When I was young
I was carefree
And I spoke all that was on my mind.
My brother laughed,
My parents smiled
I was happy in a world that was kind.

When I first went to school
I had a big smile
And I was totally, completely me.
But a few quizzical looks
And a few snide remarks
Made me question who I should be.

When I grew a little older
I had a shy smile
I had decided to keep my thoughts to myself.
I kept my head down
The others passed me by
It had been a success, I felt.

When I  turned fifteen
I kept the smile on my face
But I also kept my thoughts inside.
When people talked to me
I felt afraid
I didn’t know how to reply.

Here I am now
I’m still happy, still me.
But I remember- my thoughts can’t be spoken.
So now I think and think
To come up with the right words
But often I settle for none.

He took a turn for the worse.
Unconscious,
Barely holding on.
It did not seem real
It could not be real.
I said a prayer,
I sent my love,
And I hoped with all my heart.
By some miracle, his eyes opened.
He was greeted with love and care
His tired lips broke into a peaceful smile,
And he sang a love song to his age-old lover.
When finally, his eyes closed once more,
Completely content,
Ready to go.

I always feel torn-
Sometimes I get these glimpses
Of something complex,
And real,
And intense,
And hard to understand.
I can see it for a moment

And I can see it through words.
Have you ever read a book that made you feel…
Awe?
It made you feel like you saw something new,
Like you were shown something amazing,
Like everything has changed.

And I can see it through art.
Have you ever heard or seen something,
That literally took your breath away
Or brought you to tears?
It made you think,
It made you understand that great perhaps
At least for a moment.

And I can see it through other people.
Have you ever been doing something,
Then felt overcome by love?
Or grief?
Or happiness?
People contain this complex reality.
People are this complex reality.

But like sand in my fingertips,
It falls away as soon as I get a hold on it.
I can’t hold onto it for too long.
Distractions are everywhere
And we are living on the surface.
But there is more.
I have seen it, and I know it is there.
How do I put this?
As a great writer once said,
“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
How can I say something I do not understand?
I’ll keep trying.

it’s 4 in the morning
and im so scared.

im crying and shaking
i just had a nightmare that you were hurt
and you forgot
everything

it hurts so bad

i know you are leaving soon
please don’t.

i don’t know what im going to do

please don’t go.

Sometimes I feel as though I am the only person afloat
In a sea of people drowning in a storm of evil
As thoughtless stabs are inflicted in a constant stream of negativity
I am shocked that nobody else seems to notice
I am afraid that one day I will lose my focus
And I will drown too-
Sinking down, down, down,
And become just like everybody else.
But right now I am afloat
I can see clearly, and what I see scares me
I see the sunken, dragging others down with them thoughtlessly
I see their waves of mindless abuse crash down
I see tsunamis of negativity
That the sunken see as just another drop in the ocean.
I need to stay afloat
I need to offer my hand to those that have managed to withstand the storm
And I need to try to resurface the submerged
Before it is too late, and we have all sunken to the bottom
Then, when we try to tear others down
It will not matter, for there will be nowhere lower to go.

Comparisons.
While some add a flourish to writing,
like a simile comparing one’s love to a summer day,
others can be deadly.
These comparisons don’t appear in such a pleasant way-
these come about in the late hours of the night
in that small, bleak, gloomy corner of the mind.
The dark thoughts begin as trivial drops
that quickly transform into crashing waves.
They wear you down,
beat at you relentlessly,
until almost nothing is left.
But just as the sun rises after a storm,
we emerge.
Tentatively, at first.
But soon we find what was taken from us,
and more.
The darkness has made apparent the light that we had previously failed to see -
And once that light is found, it shines brighter than it has ever shone before.
The dark water is all but gone now,
And all that is left is a rainbow.