Best Friends

I've lost my best friend,
thought we'd be together,
til the very end.
Been together for five long years,
if only you could see all my tears.
We'd sit on the couch and watch tv,
you even came with,
when I had to ***.
No bad, only good times,
this is worse than any hate crimes.
Thought I saw you by the door,
pushing your buttons, I adore.
Is that you, on the table,
come home, I miss my cable.
Searched the house, and found nothing,
I was hoping, she was just bluffing.
Dug deep into my ugly couch,
with that extra deep hole,
and there it was, among other things,
my long, lost beautiful remote control.
Don't you dare ever leave me again,
or you'll be Barbie,
and I'll be Ken.

Facebook Posts

If you can't take the heat,
stay out of the kitchen,
sick of your complaining,
and all your silly *******.
Tired of reading all your rants,
or pictures of your brand new pants.
No reason for all this drama,
save that **** for your mamma.
No more pictures with stupid sayings,
stop counting all your silly blessings.
Don't care what you had for dinner,
it makes me hungry, hard to stay thinner.
Pokes, I get a bunch,
hundreds, and that's before lunch.
Family pictures, I love to see,
but I don't care about your shopping spree.
If you are sick, get well soon,
sometimes even I act like a buffoon.
I read all your Facebook posts,
so does all your family ghosts.
Read some good ones,
read some bad ones,
some **** so bad,
they give me the runs.
I entertain,
but even I sometimes fail,
send me money,
I ended up in Facebook jail.

Marriage

You like to drink,
I like to smoke,
you'd like to think,
that I am big joke.
You like to rock,
I like to roll,
we go for a walk,
but it ends up a stroll.
You like to read,
I like to write,
whenever we talk,
it ends up being a fight.
You like honesty,
I like to lie,
I find it funny,
when you start to cry.
You like to spend,
I like to save,
you love to cut,
when I have to shave.
You like romance,
I like horror,
You're name is Dora,
and I'd like to explore ya.
You like to eat,
I like to munch,
we love each other,
so **** much.
Twenty years and going strong,
I'm always right,
you're always wrong.
The *** is great,
and we love to cuddle,
in the bed,
there is always a puddle.
You like me,
I like you,
another woman,
always makes two.
Sometimes I watch,
sometimes I join,
either way,
I have a happy groin.

I Watch

How I like to watch my lover,
there will never be another.
I watch her eat, I watch her sleep,
wondering if she's counting sheep.
Watching her drive is a bit scary,
I wore my seat belt except for once.
I watch her ****, I watch her ****,
that's a bit weird, I must admit.
I watch her laugh, I watch her cry,
I wipe the tears from her wet eye.
She thinks I watch to much,
but love can be such a treat.
I love to watch her smile,
each nail she will carefully file.
I watch her as she does her job,
does peeping through her window,
make me a perverted slob.
Knows I'm there, but says no word,
makes me think she kinda likes it.
I watch her read, I watch her write,
I was wrong, she was right.
She's my angel up above,
even after death, we still love.
I went to hell, for all my watching,
I'll catch her, when it's her turn to be dropping.

Tree House

Everyday is all the same,
I hate the player, I hate the game,
I myself is only to blame.
Help me please find my way,
if not tomorrow, how bout today.
Yesterday, might have been too late,
My brain in gone, my mind is blown.
Everything dark, I must be blind,
on the dotted line, I signed.
Each day is a slap to the face,
no one left to help embrace.
A lost soul, I've become,
it's only death that I dream.
I live in a tree house,
somewhere in the woods,
only wishing, I had a car,
boy, did my life get real far.
I scratch and I crawl,
just for a lousy dime.
It's me you ignore,
as I beg,
if female, I'd show some leg.
All alone searching for a friend,
I lived that way til the very end.
Went to sleep, never woke up,
at least I didn't suffer with pain.
Didn't take long for the buzzards,
maggots oozing from my brain.
As the flies circle overhead,
chances are, I must be dead.

Long Road

When I was born, the mold was broken,
people see me and they become frozen.
Sorry for my big ego,
you better let go my Eggo.
Some say I'm a bit conceited,
not very often, I get defeated.
Sometimes it goes the other way too,
you try your foot in my shoe.
Stressed, blessed and always depressed,
no matter what I do, I'm always impressed.
I'm cocky with no confidence,
falling down then getting up,
made me who I am today.
Can't always get what you want,
just make sure, you have what you need.
I always do what I want,
when it's good, I like to flaunt.
I'm amazing in the most awesome way,
trying always to have a great day.
My girl keeps me under control,
she's my heart and my soul.
I'm outrageous and contagious,
I wish I was a bit more courageous.
After a life of pure hell,
I proudly admit,
I'm doing well.

Before The Show

Before the show begins,
I have a poem, by an anonymous poet.
Arguably the greatest poet alive.
" Looking out my window,
I see rain, trees and a fence,
I bet so far your in suspense.
Fence is brown, leaves are green,
I'll admit it's a beautiful scene.
Reality is, the world is hell,
witches have put me in a spell.
Just when things are going right,
sunshine becomes the darkest night.
Never have I seen such dark,
like a helpless jogger in the park.
Life is good, life is bad,
I've had my share of both.
So much ******, so much ****,
molesters always seem to escape.
Then I think of all the good times,
and how you love all my forced rhymes.
Then I look back outside,
life again seems so simple.
The brown fence never looked so good,
rain all of a sudden doesn't look that bad.
Life is like a roller coaster,
no more missing persons on a poster.
This world has many winding roads,
life is better when shooting loads. "
And this concludes the poem of the day,
now the regular show may begin.

Delusional

I do what I want,
I say as I please,
girls see me,
and drop to their knees.
Conceited maybe,
eccentric yes,
depressed always.
I write what I write,
no topic is taboo,
sometimes I even,
hear a Who.
Delusional and paranoid,
people watch me as I walk.
Licking my fingers,
licking my toes,
then I eat,
what I find in my nose.
Conspiracy theories,
and superstitions,
they consume my thoughts.
I count my money,
that I wish I had,
part of the reason,
that I'm always sad.
I have stories,
I have rhymes,
I have people, that I love,
I still bleed the same color blood.
I have pride,
I have passion,
the police are here,
because of my fashion.
Sometimes I rock,
sometimes I roll,
I like to smoke from a bowl,
I'm number one,
according to the latest poll.

Ways To **** Yourself

Blow out your brains with a gun,
slit your wrist, slit your throat.
Play chicken with a moving train,
jump in front a moving bus.
Go in the ocean, filled with sharks,
while in the tub, throw in a toaster.
Overdose on alcohol, drugs or pills,
leap off a real tall building.
Hang yourself with a strong rope,
choke on a big piece of meat.
Run in the hood, yelling the n word,
jump from a plane, high in the sky.
Drown in a swimming pool,
poison your food or drink.
Cover your head with a pillow,
stab yourself in the heart.
Jump on top of a hand grenade,
walk naked through the jungle.
Warning, do not try these tricks ever,
side effects include a painful death.
Reality, never a reason to **** yourself,
don't be foolish, dumb or stupid.

Five Personalities

First one is very mean,
runs down people in his car,
shoots anyone walking the streets,
gets drunk and beats his family for fun.
Second one is sometimes depressed,
cries all day, cries all night,
too afraid, can't leave home,
paranoid to the extreme.
Third one is god like,
not a thing he can't do,
knows answers to every question,
snaps his finger, girls come running.
Forth one is dumb and ******,
can't remember his own name,
smokes all day, smokes all night,
stupid is what stupid does.
Fifth one is a puppy dog,
barks at knocks on the door,
licks his water on all fours,
****** and poops in the back yard.
No medicine can help his cause,
too unstable to stand trial.
Lives in a mental institution,
wears a strait jacket til he dies.

Just Words

swindle
fraudulence
deceit
scam
those words cheat us
happy
joy
fun
laugh
those words bless us
depression
sadness
hopelessness
suicidal
those words worry us
bewildered
baffled
dumbfounded
perplexed
those words confuse us
awesome
amazing
terrific
outstanding
those words are us
love
lust
***
passion
those words excite us
jealous
selfish
vindictive
desirous
those words envy us
all these words can describe
everyday feelings we all share.

Finally Happy

People Change,
back stabbing friends.
Dysfunctional family,
black sheep paradise.
Smoke my stuff,
drink my beer.
Watch my movies,
listen to my music.
Lost my mind,
three or four times.
On the right medication,
now back on the track.
Money, wish I had more,
I'm happy where I'm at.
Born in Jersey,
moved to Maryland.
then back to Jersey,
now in sunny Florida.
Met the love of my life,
it only took forty long years.
Have two kids, that I adore,
Amber and Tyler, forever more.
Happy with my current life,
gave the fame and fortune pursuit.
I'm happy to love, and happy to be loved,
**** everything else.

Master Of Puppets

What if we aren't even here,
would it change, who we think we are.
Maybe you're a figment of my imagination,
just a thought in this mans head.
I ponder that question every night,
only I know the real answer.
We're born, we grow up and we die,
make the best of any situation.
An ice age will destroy all mankind,
or was the dinosaur theory all just myth.
When you die all your answers you shall find,
only I know all the secrets,
I'm not allowed to tell you why.
You all will know in due time.
I'm the master of the puppets,
pulling your strings, is what I do.
I say who lives or dies,
whether you gets rich or poor.
I'm in your head, I'm in your heart,
I'm everywhere, but you can't see me.
Friends all thought I was insane,
til I ended up in all their dreams.
I see you when you'er sleeping,
I see you when you're awake,
I even see you when you're naked.
Some of you should always be clothed,
bigger people need a stronger string.
I'm your angel up above,
I'm your demon down below.
Praying on knees doesn't work,
I'm just the ****, who pulls your strings.

End Of An Era

If not for bad luck, Id have none at all,
would love to rise, but always fall.
I've come close a few times,
but all I have are stupid rhymes.
Not sorry for what I used to write,
used to think my future was bight.
Now it's gloomy and it's dark,
I have no bite and barely a bark.
Used to think, I'd be famous,
all I am is a big fat ****.
Doing my best, but nothing works,
can't wait til I'm a corpse.
My caring days are long gone,
nothing more than a silly pawn.
Don't even feel like writing anymore,
rhyming has become nothing but a bore.
Thank you all for your support,
but my rhyming, I must abort.

If not for bad luck, Id have none at all,
would love to rise, but always fall.
I've come close a few times,
but all I have are stupid rhymes.
Not sorry for what I used to write,
used to think my future was bight.
Now it's gloomy and it's dark,
I have no bite and barely a bark.
Used to think, I'd be famous,
all I am is a big fat ****.
Doing my best, but nothing works,
can't wait til I'm a corpse.
My caring days are long gone,
nothing more than a silly pawn.
Don't even feel like writing anymore,
rhyming has become nothing but a bore.
Thank you all for your support,
but my rhyming, I must abort.

Croaky Karaoke

You poke your eyes out,
you put your eyes in,
you poke your eyes out,
and no vision makes you shout,
You do the croaky karaoke,
and twist yourself around,
people next to you become astound.
You pull your ears off,
you put your ears on,
you pull your ears off,
now you can't hear the applause.
You do the croaky karaoke,
and twist yourself around,
no longer can you hear a sound.
You pull your tongue out,
you put your tongue in,
you pull your tongue out,
the blood starts to pour like a spout.
You do the croaky karaoke,
and twist yourself around,
now it's tough even for a clown.
You yank your teeth out,
you put your teeth in,
you yank your teeth out,
and that's what life's all about.
You do the croaky karaoke,
and twist yourself around,
by now your underwear is browned.
You rip your head off,
you put your head on,
you rip your head off,
people are using your eyes for golf.
You do the croaky karaoke,
and twist yourself around,
now you're dead, as you fall to the ground.
It was a party at the ***** colony,
the croaky karaoke was pure comedy.

There lived a man in Shady Hills,
sits home all day, popping pills.
Morning, noon and night,
not any real food in sight.
Drinks water from the tap,
too wired to take a nap.
Percocets all **** day,
Vicodin is the only way.
Xanax in the night time,
****** he buys for a dime.
Oxycontin, he keeps hidden,
his hiding spot is forbidden.
Takes Abilify for his mood swings,
taking Amphetamines gives him wings.
More skinny than a rail,
in life he sure did fail.
Ecstasy, he keeps under lock and key,
he doesn't give away any pills for free.
At thirty he ended up with cirrhosis of the liver,
he didn't care about his new founded quiver.
Popped pills til his death,
at least he never smoked ****.
Died at the age of thirty two,
in his stomach was pill stew.
Just another sad lost soul,
popping pills will someday take a toll.

Not Gonna Do It

Tile covered with dirt and sand,
but, I'm not lifting a helping hand.
***** dishes in the sink,
I'd rather sit on the couch and drink.
Clothes need to be folded,
by now they must be molded.
Dinner needs to be cooked,
that is something, I overlooked.
House could use a good dusting,
this house is very disgusting.
Kids need to go to school,
I guess I'll do that, ha ha April Fool.
Grass needs to be cut,
on that chore, I will rebut.
Toilet needs a good cleaning,
yea right, you must be dreaming.
Windows need to be washed,
that plan, I quickly squashed.
Rugs need a good vacuum,
you know better, than to assume.
These are things, I will never do,
I like this house, looking like a zoo.

I'm Everything

I'm big, I'm bad,
I'm small, I'm sad.
I'm eccentric, I'm emotional,
I'm pure, I'm promotional.
I'm all that and a bag of chips,
I'm a solar and a lunar eclipse.
I'm white, I'm wise,
I'm Allen, I'm arise.
I'm ugly, I'm unique,
I'm awesome, I'm antique.
I'm an occasional smoker,
I'm a midnight toker.
I'm calm, I'm cool,
I'm creepy, I'm cruel.
I'm ****, I'm sweet,
I'm nice, I'm neat.
I'm a man on a mission,
I'm a little fact and a little fiction.
I'm amazing, I'm art,
I'm silent, I'm smart.
I'm ******, I'm drunk,
I'm jealous, I'm junk.
I'm a man with plenty of regret,
I'm a man forever in debt.
I'm hungry, I'm *****,
I'm crazy, I'm corny.
I'm man, I'm monster,
I'm Emmy, I'm Oscar.
I'm all these things up above,
I'm also a man filled with love.

Evil Lurking

Evil lurking in the streets,
evil lurking in the sheets.
Evil lurking in the car,
evil lurking in the bar.
Evil lurking in the church,
evil lurking where you search.
Evil lurking in the brain,
evil lurking in *******.
Evil lurking everywhere,
evil lurking, this I swear.
Too afraid to go out,
evil lurking, I have no doubt.
Paranoid to the max,
refuse to pay any tax.
Evil lurking in the jail,
evil lurking in the mail.
Evil lurking in the schools,
evil lurking in the fools.
Evil lurking in the movie theater,
evil lurking in every creature.
Evil lurking at the malls,
evil lurking in the walls.
In my head, I keep searching,
but all I find is evil lurking.

800 Miles

My kids live 800 miles away,
do anything to see them everyday,
if only Santa would let me borrow his sleigh,
it sometimes feels like, I gave them a betray.
How I miss their beautiful smile,
last time I see them, well it's been awhile,
they seem happy with their life style,
if only I could walk that 800th mile.
Seeing them once year really *****,
but, I just don't have the bucks,
my life is in constant flux,
one month a year, I live in deluxe.
Fell behind in child support,
waiting to have my new day in court,
on the stick, I got the part that was short,
this is not a winning sport.
Sure we talk from time to time,
800 miles is a hell of a climb,
for eleven months, I pay for my crime,
**** , I feel like such a slime.
Catching up on what I owe,
I barely get to watch them grow,
all I eat is tons of crow,
to my kids, I now say hello.
My ten year old is named Amber,
she has style and plenty of glamour,
my eight year old Tyler, knows every answer,
sometimes their faces, I can't remember.
I know someday, we'll be together,
I'd be floating just like a feather,
no two kids I more treasure,
until then, I'm just gonna ride out the nasty weather.

Rhyming Is My Business

Working on a secret mission,
brain in unstable condition,
don't believe in superstition,
will charge for admission.
Life flashing before my eyes,
tongue tied between her thighs,
maggots soon become flies,
my ***** is the perfect size.
I am number one,
writing is just for fun,
never will I own a gun,
life has just begun.
I'm my own best friend,
friends and family, I will defend,
texted you, but forgot to send,
my funeral, I will attend.
Sometimes I need a helping hand,
life never goes as planned,
Facebook is becoming bland,
nothing beats a good hair band.
****** is a bad addiction,
why is fact called nonfiction,
dying is not a prediction,
life is just a contradiction.
With me you're in awe,
it's just an unwritten law,
never miss Monday Night Raw,
when I don't write, you go through withdraw.
I am just the very best,
to hell with all the rest,
nothing beats a woman's chest,
knowing me, you should be blessed.

Poem Man

It's twelve o'clock on a Friday,
the regular crowd stumbles in,
there's a gay man sitting next to me,
making love to his friend that is thin.
Son can you write me a classic,
don't really care if it's paper or plastic.
It's hard and it's heavy and I used to know it,
back in the day when I wore clothes.
Write us a poem, you're the poem man,
write us a poem tonight,
we're all in the mood for a classic,
and you're **** makes us feel just right.
Bill at the bar is an old friend,
he gets me my smokes for free,
he knows all the jokes,
and lights everyone's smokes,
but there's another place he'd rather be.
Allen, I believe this is killing me,
as his grin turns into a frown,
he'd rather work for the circus,
if only he could just be a clown.
The waitress is practicing rolling,
as the actors slowly get high,
they share a joint they call happiness,
and it's better than saying goodbye.
Frank is an upcoming novelist,
never had time for a man,
talking to Barney,
who's still in the army,
but gives it up whenever he can.
It's a decent crowd for a Friday,
as the owner gives me a wink,
he knows it's me,
they've been coming to see,
cause smoking is better than a drink.
My pen it writes like a symphony,
and my paper smells like a joint,
they sit at my bar,
and throw buds in my jar,
and say, man just get to the point.
Write us a poem, you're the poem man,
write us a poem tonight,
we're all in the mood for a classic,
and you're **** makes us all feel just right.

Opposites

happy, mad
joy, sad
in, out
silent, shout
sunny, rain
pleasure, pain
big, small
Spring, Fall
rich, broke
serious, joke
win, lose
sober, *****
red, blue
false, true
pencil, pen
Barbie, Ken
up, down
smile, frown
Every word has an opposite,
I deserve a national monument.
walk, run
knife, gun
sneaker, shoe
me, you
****, ****
hit, miss
night, day
straight, gay
woman, man
bottle, can
No one is better than me,
that's the way it will always be.

Final Goodbye

No one cares if I live or die,
even friends can't look me in the eye,
don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nobody left to trust,
living in total disgust,
winds are beginning to gust.
No god, no devil, no heaven, no hell,
on that, I never dwell,
all I can say is, oh well.
Not worth even living,
never taking, always giving,
six feet under, I'm digging.
Goals and dreams, I'll never achieve,
we all practice to deceive,
life makes me want to heave.
I will never have any money,
don't laugh, it's not funny,
always dark, never sunny.
Just wishing I was dead,
one bullet to the head,
my whole life, I've been mislead.
I'm just living on borrowed time,
up hill, I'll always climb,
feeling like a piece of slime.
As I await my final breath,
all I do is beg for death,
all I wanted was some respect.
I will now say my last goodbye,
I don't need to explain why,
I gave living my best try.

Death Of A *****

Blood gushing from the nose,
already chopped off your toes.
You treat me bad, I treat you worse,
your body, I will disperse.
Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth,
now it's time for the truth.
You lie and you cheat,
death will make my life complete.
You're a ***** and a ****,
I'm ****** and a nut.
You stabbed me in the leg,
then I cracked you like an egg.
I tore out your beating heart,
that was only just the start.
As you lie on the ****** floor,
it was death to a stupid *****.
You tried your very best,
but no longer am I depressed.
Your blood I drank like juice,
no longer could I take abuse.
You're somebody who won't be missed,
your life is now permanently dismissed.
This was a death of a *****,
my killing spree is up to four.
Cheat on me and you'll be next,
and you too will be my ex.

Old MacAllen

Old MacAllen has a house,
abcde
and in this house he had a wife,
abcde
with a nag, nag here,
and a nag, nag there,
here a nag, there a nag
everywhere a nag, nag,
Old MacAllen has a house
abcde.
Old MacAllen has a house
fghij
and in this house he had a son,
fghij
with a whine, whine here,
and a whine, whine there,
here a whine, there a whine
everywhere a whine, whine,
Old MacAllen has a house
fghij.
Old MacAllen has a house,
klmno
and in his house he had a daughter,
klmno
with complaint, complaint here,
and a complaint, complaint there,
here a complaint, there a complaint
everywhere a complaint, complaint,
Old MacAllen has a house
klmno.
Old MacAllen has a house,
pqrst
and in his house he had some pets,
pqrst
with a bark, bark here,
and a meow, meow there,
here a bark, there a bark
everywhere a meow, meow,
Old MacAllen has a house
pqrst.
Old MacAllen has a house,
uvwxyz
this house he has,
made to much sound,
now there all buried,
deep down in the ground,
uvwxyz.

Rhymes

And the rhyme says,
all the long haired rhyming people, must go,
so I put on a short wig,
and went in to ask why.
I'm a fine young rhymer,
please let me show.
Took off my wig,
and asked him to give me a try.
Rhymes, rhymes, everywhere rhymes,
filling up the pages,
blowing all your minds.
And the rhyme says,
anyone caught not rhyming,
will be shot on sight,
I jumped the fence and gave a yell,
hey, I know how to rhyme right.
Non rhymers won't let mother nature in,
they say not to rhyme is considered a sin.
Rhymes, rhymes, everywhere rhymes,
filling up the pages,
blowing all your minds.
Hey man mister, can you read,
my rhymes are all that you'll ever need.
Must have a paper and pen to rhyme,
watch me write as I enter my prime.
I don't need a membership card,
my rhymes will keep you on guard.
And the rhyme says,
everyone down here is welcome to stay,
but when Lucifer passed the plate,
I had no money to pay.
So I got my own pen and paper,
and made up my own little rhyme,
So I decided to sell my soul,
the Devil will make me feel fine.
Rhymes, rhymes, everywhere rhymes,
filling up the pages,
blowing all your minds.
Sorry for you, but I'm out of time,
do this, do that, cant you read the rhyme.

Spring

It's a beautiful Spring day,
soaking feet in the bay.
Flowers blooming as I speak,
the stems are no longer weak.
Slight breeze from the west,
not a reason, to even be dressed.
All the leaves turning green,
it sure is quite the scene.
Birds chirping so quietly,
Winter ended so violently.
Baseball season about to begin,
every team had a chance to win.
Ah, the smell of freshly mowed grass,
making lemonade, pour me a glass.
Feel the love that's in the air,
Spring and Summer make quite the pair.
Everyday the temperature is rising,
the sun so beautifully shining.
Children playing in the streets,
no need for any heavy sheets,
Windows open, feel the breeze,
the pollen makes me wanna sneeze.
Go outside and pull some weeds,
how I love planting garden seeds.
Feel the air as it begins to warm,
viewing life as it will transform.
Nothing like the perfect Spring day,
sitting on the back porch, with noting to say.

Two Words

Wolves howl
cats meow
people prowl.
Cigarette smoke
Facebook poke
me broke.
Blonde hair
blank stare
better beware.
Phone rings,
bee stings
needless things.
Darkened rooms
evil looms
life zooms.
Authors write
feeling light
future bright.
Forget past
never last
happens fast.
Bloods red,
damaged head
you're dead.

Hairy Woman

Begging and pleading,
and wanting more,
her body is all I adore.
Hair down to her knees,
me asking pretty please.
Kissing her head to toe,
her hair will always grow.
Her body, I love to massage,
it deserves an entourage.
Lips so red and juicy,
me just a local groupie.
Eyes are a perfect blue,
I'm sticky, just like glue.
Running my fingers, through hair,
takes over an hour,
how the hell, does she even shower.
More hair than cousin It,
I wipe your *** when you ****.
Don't shave legs or arm pits,
hair even grows from her ****.
Need a **** whacker for that bush,
it's me around, you like to push.
How I love her hairy ***,
you hold the title for passing gas.
Dandruff, you have plenty of,
but yet, I'm still in love.
Prettiest face you'll ever see,
in her hair is plenty of old ***.
Big Foot is alive and white,
she's so big, she blocks the light.
It's all good, I don't care,
she's so hot, this I swear.
When I go out, she must stay home,
must brush her hair, can't use a comb.
When she leaves the house, people laugh,
her neck is the size of a giant giraffe.
The *** drives me so wild,
she's a left over 60's flower child.
Not even sure if she is human,
how I love my hairy woman.

You and I

I have love, you have hate,
I love ice, you have skate.
I have pen, you have paper,
I have Keystone, you have Kaper.
I have base, you have ball,
I have Peter and Mary, you have Paul.
I have air, you have plane,
I have snow, you have rain.
I have car, you have keys,
may I borrow them please.
You have picture, I have frame,
you have guilt, I have shame.
You have Donkey, I have Kong,
you have ****, I have ****.
You have Garfunkel, I have Simon,
you have words, I have rhyming.
You have tv, I have remote,
You have Billy, I have goat.
You have me, I have you,
our love is tried and true.
We have everything, we have need,
we have flower, we have seed.
We have continuity, we have chemistry,
we have fate, we have destiny.
We have ***, we have cuddles,
we have bed, we have puddles.
We have money, we have none,
we have laughter, we have fun.
We have air, we have condition,
together we have a mission,
I have cigarette, you have lighter,
I have future, you have brighter.
I have ceiling, you have fan,
I have floor, you have plan.
I have gun, you have hole,
always hated that ******* mole.

LE/DC

There's a lady we all know,
her ****, she loves to show.
She's buying the highway to heaven,
she only has a money account of seven.
Living hard, living tough,
loves *** that is rough.
Ain't nowhere she'd rather be,
she's living to be set free.
There's a note on the wall,
it's for her name to call.
In a bush by the swamp,
that's where she loves to romp.
She has no rhyme or reasons,
cause you know words have four meanings.
She's now on the stairway to hell,
she didn't fall, she fell.
No red lights, no school zone,
just a giant hole surrounded by stone.
A weird feeling she gets,
when she looks to the south,
no longer can she use her juicy mouth.
Ooh, it makes her wonder,
ooh, it makes her really ponder.
Nothing will slow her down,
her ******* have turned brown.
The devil's calling her to join him,
she starts singing her favorite hymn.
She could't afford the highway to heaven,
she barely had enough for a Slurpie from 7-11.
And as she zooms down the stairway road,
slow motion she wishes was her mode.
She's on the stairway to hell,
her soul she had to sell.
She's on the stairway to hell,
no stopping at that famous California hotel.

On Schedule

Went through the tunnel, to find the light,
wore sunglasses, future was so bright.
Things sure are going my way,
on schedule with no delay.
Everyone gave me a smile,
that only happens, once in awhile.
Nothing today is gonna go wrong,
on the radio is my favorite song.
Around me the world will revolve,
not a problem, I can't solve.
I know the answer to your question,
just using the power of suggestion.
I sure feel like a winner,
even had my favorite dinner.
Squeezing by every road block,
on schedule according to my clock.
Knowing soon I'll crash and burn,
up ahead will be a wrong turn.
That's when ecstasy becomes reality,
part of my unusual mentality.
Can only be so high, for so long,
I just have to play along.
Feeling like a gutter ball bowler,
on schedule is my bi-polar.
Setting in is a dark depression,
these episodes happen in succession.
Afraid to leave the house,
feeling lower that a baby mouse.
Then again I see that shinning light,
on schedule is again becomes bright.

Hate/Love

Hate Pepsi, love Coke
hate crack, love to ****
Hate country, love rock
hate boring, love to shock
Hate to ****, love the ***
hate stupid, love wit
Hate football, love wrestling
hate knowing, love guessing
Hate violence, love ***
hate calling, love to text
Hate snow, love rain
hate blood, love pain
Hate cleaning, love cooking
hate darkness, love looking
Hate running, love driving
hate death, love surviving
Hate *******, love ladies
hate the nineties, love the eighties
Hate past, love now
hate to deny, love to allow
Hate the Exorcist, love Freddy
hate shaking, love steady
So many thing I hate,
like always having to wait.
So many things I love,
my life, I'm proud of.
Hate you, love me
hate to argue, love to agree
Hate alone, love company
hate happy, love grumpy
Hate standing, love to sit
hate swallowing, love to spit
Hate alcohol, love ****
hate failure, love to succeed
Hate to read, love to write
hate being nice, love to spite
Hate to stay, love to go,
hate above, love below
I think you get my point,
now go smoke a big fat joint.

Gave Up

I gave up trying to care,
no one ever answered my prayer.
People always ask for advice,
then do the complete opposite,
it makes me so sick, I wanna *****.
Always getting stabbed in the back,
all the ******* is starting to stack.
People say they are your friend,
most of them just play pretend.
Drinking and drugs dull the pain,
but I only have myself to blame.
Every time I think I've turned the corner,
they put up another ******* border.
Nothing I do is ever good enough,
people are always calling my bluff.
Even when I try my best,
every blue moon, I pass the test.
Freedom is just a big fat joke,
so what if I'm ******* broke.
House is always a mess,
I could care less.
Stuck in total darkness,
my body is just a rotting carcass.
Don't care about you,
don't care about me,
just **** me, so I can finally feel free.
I live in a reckless abandon,
is there such a thing as a companion.
Life ***** then you die,
I bet nobody will even cry.
There is no god to pray to,
girls just leave my ***** blue.
I shoot ******, I smoke ****,
soon I will wish for death.
My question has no answer,
I smoke just so I can get cancer.
I'm begging on both my knees,
for someone to take my life please.
Will probably live til I'm a hundred,
chained to this worlds unholy dungeon.

St. Valentines Day Massacre

This is a story that you may decline,
I'm not talking about Chicago 1929.
This happened a short time ago,
no cupid, no arrow or a bow.
Five years ago to the day,
a man was stalking his ex prey.
Every girl that ever dumped him,
he was lonely and getting no trim.
There was four girls in all,
each one got a strange call.
Kidnapped them one by one,
tied them up, couldn't run.
Drew a circle around their heart,
looked like a mathematical pie chart.
From his pocket, grabbed his scalpel,
then lit up his first candle.
Proceeded to cut out the circle,
blood poured out on the table.
Heart pumping, as he started to yank,
enough blood to fill up a bank.
One by one each heart got crushed,
you should have seen, as the blood gushed.
Rest of the bodies, burned into ash,
on the news, he made a big splash.
February fourteenth, 2009,
his house is now a ****** shrine.

Valentines Day

It's a day to show extra love,
flowers, candy, teddy bear or a golden glove.
Love should be extra, every day,
Cupid deserves some extra pay.
Flowers die, candy gets eaten,
it's not a good day to get caught cheating.
Give a card with a little poem,
if rich maybe a trip to Rome.
A romantic night with crazy ***,
maybe a wife, girlfriend or even an ex.
It ***** when you're all alone,
everything ringing except your phone.
Maybe a diner and a drink,
everything including the kitchen sink.
We all know about the history,
Valentines Day is no mystery.
I know I love my better half,
she loves the way I make her laugh.
Best woman, I've ever seen,
we often play student and dean.
I'd give anything to stay with her,
life before was such a blur.
It doesn't take me a non day off holiday,
to take my ******* some romantic hide-away.
Valentines day should be spent twenty four seven,
whether you're on the highway to hell, or the stairway to heaven.

Inner Thoughts

When people lie,
I ask myself why,
don't make people cry,
tell the truth, don't be shy.
Everybody wants to be a hero,
always have the biggest ego,
why steal, when you can borrow,
nobody wants to be a zero.
Sometimes dreams,
seem out of reach,
listen to me, I can teach,
your dreams, never breach,
not a lecture, just a speech.
Don't you dare, give up hope,
please never shoot up dope,
or hang yourself with a rope,
let me be your personal pope.
In a world filled with violence,
we all need some special guidance,
most guns require no license,
the critics have now been silenced.
Most of us, never get 15 minutes of fame,
the world may never know your name,
friends and family is a great claim,
live your life, like the tenth frame.
Love is all you need,
red we will always bleed,
between the lines,
you must read,
no reason for any greed.
This is my conclusion,
life is filled with total confusion,
maybe we're all just an illusion,
all I ask is for is a little seclusion.

https://www.facebook.com/AwesomeAllenWilbert

Am I Real

I'm north, south, east and west,
people think that I'm the best.
They say I am everywhere,
but am I even really there.
I created heaven and earth,
too Jesus I gave birth.
Some pray to me every night,
I'm what you see in the dead light.
People who don't believe are Atheist,
don't condone a boy and a priest.
*** causes people to say my name,
I cherish holding that claim.
Some people say my name in vain,
that makes my robe start to stain.
I **** people when it's their time,
sometimes even in their prime.
Some fear me, some worship me,
I'm sorry about the show Glee.
Whether you believe or not,
I hide in your blind spot.
Some people believe in more than one,
but really there are none.
If the real truth be told,
If I was alive, I'd be pretty **** old.
I am just a character of fiction,
so people just quit your addiction.
Science is the real system,
all I just offered was some infinite wisdom.

I'm north, south, east and west,
people think that I'm the best.
They say I am everywhere,
but am I even really there.
I created heaven and earth,
too Jesus I gave birth.
Some pray to me every night,
I'm what you see in the dead light.
People who don't believe are Atheist,
don't condone a boy and a priest.
*** causes people to say my name,
I cherish holding that claim.
Some people say my name in vain,
that makes my robe start to stain.
I **** people when it's their time,
sometimes even in their prime.
Some fear me, some worship me,
I'm sorry about the show Glee.
Whether you believe or not,
I hide in your blind spot.
Some people believe in more than one,
but really there are none.
If the real truth be told,
If I was alive, I'd be pretty **** old.
I am just a character of fiction,
so people just quit your addiction.
Science is the real system,
all I just offered was some infinite wisdom.

My Final Four Words

Pain, agony, darkness defeat,
lying, cheating, stealing deceit.
Nothing seems like before,
blood a constant pour.
Alone in my bed,
just wishing for dead.
Shh, I hear something,
someone must be coming.
Footsteps on the tile,
echos in the aisle.
Not a word spoken,
my legs are broken.
Only now I write,
tough without any light.
Someone please read this,
mom, dad, bro sis.
All alone in house,
where is Mighty Mouse.
Sounds getting so close,
me naked, no clothes.
Can't reach my bat,
no dog, no cat.
It's next to me,
wishing I could see.
I beg, please help,
a very unsuccessful attempt.

I Can

Here I am the man you want,
jiving, rhyming with an occasional taunt.
No one does it better,
I can even knit a sweater.
I can rock, I can roll,
I can strut, I can stroll.
I can win any event,
not a thing, I can't invent.
I can cure any disease,
I can shoot the breeze.
No one can walk in my shoes,
being me, I have nothing to lose.
I can be the most interesting man in the world,
I can make straight hair become curled.
I'm all that and a bag of chips,
you should see how I do back flips.
I can be rich, I can be poor,
I can install your front or back door.
Jack of trades, mastered them all,
I can be short, I can be tall.
My **** will never stink,
get too close, eye will turn pink.
I can rule, I can dominate,
for President, I can nominate.
I can laugh, I can cry,
but I never seem to know why.
I can do whatever I wanna do,
unfortunately, I choose not to.

Wacky Writing Ranger

I'm a wacky writing ranger,
living the life of a stranger.
Got my pen and my paper,
I write what I want,
doesn't matter size of font,
my warped mind will find a new caper.
Writing rhymes since I was forty,
no woman ever called me shorty.
Money, what the hell is that,
it's everyone else's wallets getting fat.
My mouth is dry, fingers are numb,
even with a talent, I'm still a lazy ***.
I *** big holes in my wall,
inside the house, I play too much ball.
I have eggs with my breakfast toast,
Jeffrey Ross, where is my comedy roast.
A life filled with agony,
writing keeps my sanity.
From New Jersey to Florida,
living with my woman named Laura.
Hundreds of hearts earn my name,
can't even count the one night stands,
listening to all my favorite 80's hair bands,
all the groupies are just the same.
I've worked and had a paying job,
Bob spelled backwards is still Bob.
Left Jersey so far behind,
for that Florida weather grind.
Writing is in my blood to stay,
I don't care about the lack of pay.
I'm a wacky writing ranger,
I live the life of a complete stranger.
Read this rhyme and follow it til the end,
Then maybe after you decide to die,
look down at all the people who will cry,
then maybe Edgar Allan Poe will be your friend.

Thimble

Darkness rises from beneath,
small, ugly and has no teeth.
Crawls out from the slime,
gets more creepy each time.
Only happens once a year,
one long day makes a career.
Wanders out and wonders why,
one day is one day to shy.
Determined to make a day two,
this isn't Horton hearing a Who.
This is one mean creature,
you student, it teacher.
Only the size of a thimble,
has no name just a symbol.
Dug a hole through the pond,
it's like a miniature James Bond.
Rules the pond like no other,
looking for his missing mother.
Interviewing anything swimming,
dodging every single skimmer.
As the puddle starts to sink,
not an inch or a drop to drink.
A whirlpool circles in center,
into the whole that it enter.
Back down into its hole,
one day a year, it will patrol.

Darkness rises from beneath,
small, ugly and has no teeth.
Crawls out from the slime,
gets more creepy each time.
Only happens once a year,
one long day makes a career.
Wanders out and wonders why,
one day is one day to shy.
Determined to make a day two,
this isn't Horton hearing a Who.
This is one mean creature,
you student, it teacher.
Only the size of a thimble,
has no name just a symbol.
Dug a hole through the pond,
it's like a miniature James Bond.
Rules the pond like no other,
looking for his missing mother.
Interviewing anything swimming,
dodging every single skimmer.
As the puddle starts to sink,
not an inch or a drop to drink.
A whirlpool circles in center,
into the whole that it enter.
Back down into its hole,
one day a year, it will patrol.

Brain Warp

Heart is a pounding,
shadows are surrounding.
Clock is a ticking,
my nose I'm picking.
Trying to keep control,
smoking a big fat bowl.
Smoking the moments when,
the darkness comes again.
Let's do the brain warp today,
it's really the only way.
Pass to the left, pass to the right,
don't forget to bring a light.
Knees feeling kinda weak,
people think you're a freak.
A pelvic ****** causes pain,
you start to go slowly insane.
Let's do the brain warp today,
if need be, I will have to pay.
It's so dreamy,
fantasy equals creamy.
Starting to sweep the nation,
so high, I need a translation.
Do what you want, mind will flip,
soon you'll see time start to slip.
You're spaced on medication,
it's the greatest sensation.
Let's do the brain warp today,
whether you're straight or gay.
Well, I was walking down the road,
stepped on some jumpy toad.
Then some strange guy,
gave me the most evil eye.
He was driving in his truck,
I say to myself, what the ****.
I was getting paranoid,
he must be on a steroid.
Let's do the brain warp today,
nothing else left to say.

Love At First Sight

It was love at first sight,
darkness has become light.
Eyes glanced across the room,
my heart started to go boom.
Walked over and bought her a drink,
neither one of us could even blink.
We talked til the bar closed,
our feeling were evenly exposed.
We dated a week or two,
the we made love,
the whole night through.
The friction between us caused sparks,
we did it in cars, we did it in parks.
One magical night on the beach,
we were stuck together like a leech.
She moved in shortly after,
so much love, so much laughter.
Got on my knee and proposed,
she said yes, as I supposed.
After a year we got hitched,
her touch always makes me twitch.
We decided to start a family,
always exploring each others anatomy.
Finally our first child was born,
handed out cigars and tooted my horn.
We live a wonderful life,
I have the greatest wife

Interview With Lucifer

Name is Lucifer, come right in,
you count blessings, I count sin.
It says here, you've been a bad man,
an active member of the ku klux ****.
The number of women you ***** is one hundred six,
you help little kids play naked pick up sticks.
You put small animals into blenders,
the class you're in, has only a few members.
You've done every drug in the book,
you're a two timing, back stabbing crook.
Killed your mom, killed your dad,
says here, that it made it you glad.
Killed your sister, killed your brother,
then had *** with your dead mother.
You're more mean than Mr. Grinch,
you're even making me kinda flinch.
You make serial killers, look like angels,
for fun you shoot yourself with staples.
The people you killed is in the hundreds,
you keep the bodies in your two dungeons.
You eat flesh and drink their flood,
you deserve a movie up in Hollywood.
***** a nun and left your *****,
you're over qualified to be a demon.
You once burned an entire town,
you've been a bad, bad man Mr. Brown.
Not even the devil, will be your friend,
you will burn here in hell til the very end.

Agony Of Defeat

Somewhere in the night,
lurking is a future fright,
it will soon be a scary sight.
A little boy in his bed,
bleeding from his little head,
parents find him, already dead.
911 the parents called,
their lives were forever stalled,
they watched his body, as he got hauled.
Mom passed out on the floor,
dad speechless, said no more,
tears followed them out the door.
He had a rare brain disease,
never again will their minds be at ease,
in life there are no guarantees.
Thousands of people came to mourn,
only three years ago, he was born.
they now live in total scorn.
Haven't been to work in weeks,
they lay in bed, no one speaks,
still blood on the child's sheets.
Family and friends tried to support,
but they all fell way to short,
they rather go to the final night court.
They took a suicide pact,
even signed a written contract,
somewhere in the world, this could be fact.

Her

Her eyes so tranquil,
having her I'm thankful.
Her skin so soft,
Her Apple me Microsoft.
Her smile so big,
never do I need a wig.
Her fingers magic touch,
automatic no need to clutch.
Her naked tongue drops,
we use plenty of props.
He juice squirts plenty,
so tired and empty.
Her kisses wanting more,
how I love my little *****.
Her price very low,
she really can blow.
Her body is unmatched,
too late I'm attached.
Her is never leaving,
never meant to be deceiving.
Her cuffed to my bed,
staying til we're dead.
Her prostitution days over,
more powerful than Super Grover.
Her body I abuse,
never would I bruise.
Her ***** so tight,
never puts up a fight.
Her screams go unheard,
vision becoming blurred.
Her begs to be free,
but I lost the key.
Her tears made me cry,
asked myself why.
Her promises not to tell,
so I said what the hell.
Her off she went,
kidnapping wasn't my intent.
Her knocking at door,
begging for some more.
Her became my wife,
we now have a great life.

This Tale

This tale is about torture and pain,
thunder, lightning, wind and heavy rain.
This tale is about fortune and fame,
not enough of us get that claim.
This tale is about purple mountains majesty,
it doesn't even matter your nationality.
This tale is about ****** and ****,
two things I hope we all can escape.
This tale is about chains and whips,
a pretty smile and red juicy lips.
This tale is about magic and illusions,
conspiracy theories aren't just delusions.
This tale is about me and you,
hoping our friendship is never through.
This tale is about Jack and Jill,
I guess it was one slippery hill.
This tale is about movies and music,
sometimes loud and sometimes acoustic.
This tale is about love and peace,
salute military, firemen and some police.
This tale is about grades and school,
no more bullying on the non cool.
This tale has everything you need,
oh did I mention money and greed.
This tale is over and finished,
hope my reputation didn't get diminished.