I Love The Way
I love the way you smile,
haven't seen it in quite awhile.
I love the way you strut,
I treat you like my ****.
I love the way you yell,
you taught me how to spell.
I love the way you sing,
wedding bells, I do hear ring.
I love the way you think,
your farts sure do stink.
I love the way you laugh,
your neck is like a giraffe.
I love the way, you love me,
never have I felt so safe and free.
I love the way you walk,
too much you sometimes talk.
I love the way you push my buttons,
it's just to bad, that we're cousins.
I love the way you don't care,
our family warned us to beware.
I love the way you ride,
you helped me find my lost pride.
I love the way you rock,
my heart you did unlock.
I love the way you said good-bye,
we both knew the reasons why.
Kissing cousins should never last,
must move on and forget the past,
It was just a fifth cousin sensation,
soon it will be sweeping the nation.

Just The Facts
Baseball is America's pastime,
football players commit a crime.
Hockey players have names,
you can't pronounce or understand,
basketball players, seven feet tall they stand.
Nothing beats a cold can of coke,
anything else is just a joke.
Rock and roll, will always be king,
country is just a real long fling.
Wrestling, yes I know it's fake,
my all time favorite carried a snake.
Thanksgiving is a stupid tradition,
too much family, leaves you needing medication.
Why is American pie, made of apple,
I'd rather have a pumpkin Snapple.
Inside us all is a cancer,
another question, we can't answer.
I love my country with all my might,
murderers, rapists and molesters,
should be shot on sight.
Nothing better than a pork roll, egg and cheese,
run to Jersey, and just ask please.
Nothing like watching a great movie,
sometimes life can be pretty groovy.
*** is something, like no other,
just don't have it with your mother.

Say What
Wake up, wake up now,
when Batman punches, it reads pow.
First you're born, then you die,
just thinking about it, makes me cry.
Take advantage of every situation,
life is just fact or fiction.
No one knows, what the future will bring,
mud is the best medicine for a bee sting.
Take a shower when you stink,
farts can leave your eyes pink.
Sometimes life can seem rough,
remember someone else has it more rough.
Most friends are just fake,
so be good for goodness sake.
Some follow, some lead,
red is the color, we all bleed.
Don't ponder on a troubled past,
live now, and have a blast.
Go to sleep, go to sleep now,
first take your farewell bow,
Some give, some receive,
some fail, some achieve.
As the world fades to black,
yakety yak, don't talk back.

The Maze
Wandering through the endless maze,
been going on for several days.
Dead end here, dead end there,
dead ends everywhere.
Life always a constant struggle,
too many things, having to juggle.
Made a left, instead of a right,
a constant battle, with no end in sight.
All doors and windows shut,
butterflies filling up my gut.
Wandering inside without a key,
locked inside, where no one can see.
Stuck in this endless maze,
thought I finally found my ways.
I used to be so very strong,
how I was so very wrong.
All the corners look the same,
sick of this stupid game.
No way I'm ever breaking free,
so blind, I can't even see.
Wandering around this endless maze,
leaves my brain in a daze.
Suddenly I see a lighted reflection,
but still I'm in the wrong direction.
I'm forever stuck in this maze,
for once in my life, I can't amaze.

She Said
Fire burning out of control,
inside my heart, inside my soul.
You captured part of me,
it brings me down, to one knee.
Been dating for some years,
the ring I got, put her in tears.
Sweating, waiting for that yes,
my head she gives a caress.
She said sorry, but answer is no,
I smacked that *****,
like a rapper to a **.
How could she turn me down,
and in my own **** home town.
She said, I wasn't worthy,
now she's laid out on a gurney.
I flipped out and kicked her ***,
using knuckles made of brass.
This is my worst ever nightmare,
sometimes life just isn't fair.
As she laid ****** and bruised,
my brain became dazed and confused.
Cops came, took me away,
now I eat on a prison tray.
I can still hear that ***** scream,
merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream.

Meant To ****
Sun sets in the west,
full moon slowly rising.
You can hear the distant howls,
so far, I've used twenty vowels.
Playing baseball with some friends,
it ain't over til it's over.
Hit myself a line drive double,
tried for third, but got in trouble.
Do you care what I say,
if you don't, then it's ok.
Time flying so very fast,
hard to remember my troubled past.
Who cares what you think,
this poem is starting to stink.
Not everyone can be a classic,
I was due for a clunker.
Not every dog has its day,
poor dogs, they have no say.
Some may bark, some may bite,
putting then down, isn't a pretty sight.
This poor poem had no chance,
I just gave it a second glance.
Time to put this out of its misery,
and finally end this poem catastrophe.

Smack
Smack my *** in a car,
smack my *** in a bar.
Smack my ***, here or there,
I don't believe in any underwear.
I love a good *** smack,
right below the plumbers crack.
If I'm naked or wearing clothes,
smacking my *** is what I propose.
Smack my *** in the bed,
smack my *** after I'm dead.
Smack my *** up or down,
smack my *** in any town.
Smack my ***, cause I said so,
smack my *** before you go.
It doesn't matter where or how,
smack my ***, please right now.
Smack it good, smack it hard,
give my *** it's best regard.
You know you want to smack my ***,
just please no more broken glass.
Smack my *** in the shower,
whack it good, with all your power.
Smack my *** in the street,
my *** deserves a good beat.
Smack my *** and never stop,
maybe this boil will someday pop.