Hypnotized

I wondered that one day,
what words I might say.
An event so catastrophic,
I became so hypnotic.
Never saw anything like this,
not something you'd wanna miss.
A phenomenon like no other,
not sure I'd ever recover.
Not something easily explained,
not a soul could be blamed.
People just stopped to stare,
something was just in the air.
These things only happen to someone else,
no words could ever try to express.
A drama turned disaster,
hair turned white as plaster.
Life flashing before the eyes,
stomach filled with butterflies.
As the world stood silently still,
you could feel a bitter chill.
No one knows how or why,
never got to say good-bye.
Everyone in a sudden awe,
felt like an episode of Monday Night Raw.
No one knows exactly what happened,
everyone felt so lost and abandoned.
People couldn't take eyes off the news,
was this real or just a ruse.
Hiding tears with sunglasses,
was billions of the masses.
Possibly the darkest day in history,
everyone had their own theory.
Sometimes you just never know,
there's an ending to every great show.
Mine ended on that fateful night,
no more words left to write.
No one ever saw it coming,
peoples hearts were rapidly pumping.
I went to sleep and never woke up,
filled with sorrow was everyone's cup.
As the world began to mourn,
one day I will be reborn.
Death feels like a hypnotic trance,
I'll return for a second chance.
As I look down from the clouds,
I watch over all the saddened crowds.
Unlike Jesus, I shall return,
still a lot of life left to learn.

The Stripper

When time is of the essence,
I await your overdue presence.
When you're not here, I'm so alone,
*****, how could you lose your phone.
I hate not knowing where you are,
tonight I'm gonna make your ***** purr.
You borrow my car and I get scared,
I've already had it twice repaired.
Your beauty is unmatched,
no other couple is more attached.
When you moved in, I was nervous,
to any kind of pain, we are impervious.
All massages have a happy ending,
on Twitter, our love is now trending.
You love to cook, I love to clean,
I'm always nice, you're always mean.
You were a stripper when we first met,
I was very rich and you were in debt.
I bailed you out from your jam,
now I'm in trouble with Uncle Sam.
We are broke, but we have each other,
soon we'll be out from this cloud cover.
Maybe it's time to go back stripping,
even though my eyes will be dripping.
For a second job, I'll sell drugs,
I know plenty of **** and thugs.
Now our life is back on track,
we will always have each others back.
Now you got a new phone and a car,
then you ran off with an upcoming rock star.
That's the story of my life,
so I stabbed that ***** with my knife.

Better Than You

Anytime, anyplace,
I will kick you in your face.
Anyhow, anywhere,
I will leave you in despair.
You name the place, tell me the time,
there isn't a word I can't rhyme.
Not a chance, I will loose,
your words leave a mental bruise.
I'm gods gift to the pen,
you have smaller ***** than Ken.
Don't hate the player, hate the game,
by now you all know my name.
I'm not a poet or a rapper,
just a rhymer, writer and a scrapper.
I entertain you with my catchy hooks,
it helps that I have sensational looks.
You're nothing but a fudge packing **** pirate,
oh I'm sorry, was that supposed to be private.
You can't mess with the rhyme master,
what a shame you turned into a disaster.
I've taught you everything you know,
but I left out the part how to properly flow.
You were my pupil, you tried to go alone,
like Medusa, I turned you into stone.
The **** you write, no one reads,
to me everyone eventually concedes.
You're like Pepsi, I'm like Coke,
I'm an unsolvable riddle, you're just a joke.
As I stand here waiting for the duel,
the longer I wait, the more I fuel.
I see you lurking in the shadows,
you're heading right for the gallows.
This is your last chance to surrender,
I commend you for trying to be a contender.
But as I suspected, I'm better than you,
I left your underwear brown, and your ***** blue.

Darkened Room

Woke up in a darkened room,
with a smell of bitter gloom.
Searching for some kind of light,
no match or lighter to ignite.
Felt around for a switch,
sometimes life is a *****.
Stuck in a room with no door,
like a canoe with no oar.
Voices I can hear faintly,
all I can do is wait patiently.
Yelling for help with no reply,
left in the dark with no supply.
Not any food, not any drink,
just plenty of time to ponder and think.
In the corner I took a ****,
how did I end up in this abyss.
Hoping this is only a nightmare,
knowing soon, I'll run out of air.
Banging my head up against the wall,
air inflating faster than a punctured beach ball.
As I start to pass out,
I can hear people shout.
Woke up in a puddle of smelly sweat,
it was just a bad dream,
just not my kind of wet.

Dynamic Duo

I write you this letter,
hoping to make things better.
Not really sure what happened,
it wasn't quite what I imagined.
We were once the best of friends,
what can I do to make amends.
You don't answer my telephone calls,
did you suddenly loose your *****.
Not sure what I did so wrong,
thought our friendship was very strong.
We used to do everything together,
not a storm we couldn't weather.
Now I'm bored and feeling alone,
will you please just throw me a bone.
My once pal, I hope you're not my enemy,
remember when we planned to **** Kennedy,
Then we killed and buried Jimmy Hoffa,
we drowned our guilt with a bottle of *****.
I'm starting to worry, maybe you're missing,
remember all the girls we shared kissing.
We had a ******* every night,
our future was so bright.
I miss our random killing spree,
nothing made us feel more free.
We were called the dynamic duo,
now I'm just riding solo.
I picked up a newspaper and what did I see,
you were found at the bottom of the sea.
Now I know why you never returned my text,
I better run or I'll be next.
No reason to send this letter now,
then one day while milking my cow,
the F.B.I. gave me a visit,
I had no get out of jail ticket.
I got sentenced to the penalty of death,
I wish we were together when we took our last breath.

Rhyme Mechanic

When talking to me, wear a hard hat,
or on your face, you'll fall flat.
I'm the ****, and I'm where it's at.
People get down on your knees,
or I'll chop you down, like dead trees,
I never promise or make guarantees.
I take the roads less traveled,
never confused and rarely baffled,
in my web, you all get tangled.
None of you can compete,
I like girls that are petite,
never will I take a back seat.
It's me that people always follow,
the girls I meet always swallow,
so what if I'm very shallow.
I'm all that and a bag of chips,
my head's so big, everyday is an eclipse,
no one has a bigger bag of tricks.
I have an ego to the highest power,
I bloom more than any kind of flower,
don't mess with me, or I'll devour.
No other person is close to me,
I sting worse than a bumble bee,
to all the secrets, I hold the key.
Not my fault my head is big,
mess with me and I'll stuff you like a pig,
I shoot loads like an oil rig.
I'll break your heart and rip out your soul,
you can't touch me with a ten foot pole,
my life is always in cruise control.
This is me when I'm feeling manic,
no need to worry, no need to panic,
just call me the rhyme mechanic.

Mr. Publish Man

Mr. publish man, do you know who I am,
Mr. publish man, please tell me this ain't a scam.
I've talking a liking to what you're saying,
I just hope it's me you start paying.
Is this a dream or is it a fact,
I need to know, before I sign the contract.
Don't take a lot of time to think about,
please tell me that you have no doubt.
Mr. publish man, do you know who I am,
Mr. publish man, please tell me you really give a ****.
I hope that you become my friend,
and help my poems become a trend.
This reads like words on my paper,
don't make me part of your latest caper.
Mr. publish man, do you know who I am,
Mr. publish man, please don't email me with your spam.
Sell a lot of books, and go on a book singing world tour,
cause when it rains, it's followed by a pour.
Make a lot of money and sell lots of books,
I got plenty of rhymes and catchy hooks.
Have a lot of fun and hang with my fans,
I've already made lots of future plans.
I'm in for the money, I'm in for the show,
are you gonna help me make lots of dough.
Mr. publish man, do you know who I am,
Mr publish man, please don't make me a sacrificial lamb.