So we trace the reflection in the mirror
In hopes to construct a better view
Of the person that we hope to be
But every attempt I make
Draws out a picture of you.

The monster that you are to me.

Your eyes end up looking like
The midnight skies
On the beach where you and I
Made a vow to never leave each other
As long as we both were breathing

Now we are both screaming
And taking back everything
Just like a last breath taken
Without any meaning.
This has become
Something that is not worth seeing
Anymore

So I took the mirror down
With a quick hand
And a solid mind
To craft a new reflection
Out of the warped pieces of mine

And I stand in the hall alone
Looking towards the end of time
And wonder where I am going

And you are gone
And your mouth turns into the sun
As I say my last goodbye
To these starry night skies
Where we held each other tight
And made agreements with our
Lips and tongue

To say,
Goodnight twenty three.
Goodbye blue skies,
You never even knew me.

If you asked me if I was real
I would tell you no
But if you looked to my wrist
Those scars are all too real
These smiles and laughs
Come from the instinct to hide
To avoid the predatory explanations
Everyone will ask for
When I tell them I'm not happy
I can't tell you in a sentence
And I'm not asking for time
So you can hear my story
Cutting it short would still take too long
The summary itself would take all day

The smiles are fake yes
But not these scars
So if you ever see me
Look the other way
You'll see nothing more than a mask
Deemed undesirable even at a masquerade
This isn't a charade
Or a game I'm playing
I don't need your attention
I'd rather be left alone
Because you'll want to know
Why there is so much blood at my feet
Why the scars I have are the only thing that's real

I'm not the person everybody knew back then
I'm just the kid looking for a way out
No escape ropes
Or secret passage ways
I want a clean way out
Making sure to never end up
Back in the pits
I managed to pull myself out of
I want to be free
From the mask I wear now
To quit my acting career
And finally be who I was meant to be
I'd like these scars to fade
And these smiles to be real
Because it's killing me
To be like this
I don't want to be the author
Of another tragedy
I don't want to dance
One of those fancy dances
I just want to smile for real...for once

I spread gravel once
flat across a lawn...
wishing it was me.

I made a trash bag-wreath once
white-pure strips of plastic...
wishing it was me.

I looked up at the delicate sky
held in place forever
crying to be fleeting
trapped in existence: eternity.

I heard family ghost stories once
stained branches on family tree...
wishing it was me.

i've always been know as an emotional disaster,
my thoughts never necessarily made sense to me.
my thoughts sometimes drive me to insanity,
my thoughts sometimes stress me to no end,
i'm sixteen years old with grey hairs and a beard.
i feel as though my soul is aging faster than my own appearance is.

her life
              s
             p
            i
              r
            a
              l
            e
              d
out of control
she clings tight to whatever happiness she has
her palms sweat from holding on
she begins to slip
her wide eyes glance down
she sees crowds of people watching
no one is ready to catch her

slipping from her happiness
she tumbles away from life
she comes to the end of her fall
as she hits the stone floor
she takes one last look at her life

pain
misery
thats all she sees
blackness overcomes her
then comes a white light
she begins to float softly into the white oblivion

she made it out
she is free
happiness stretches
as far the eye can see