How doth I run away again,
from my own mistakes?
In hinder myself over and over
despite the pain it takes.
Agony hath many faces;
I know this to be true.
Joy hath but one name--
the same that I call you.

I forget that you still don't know
That I am so forgetful

And that's one of the things
I think
that I like about you

I know they say it in the movies
but I don't think it's true
I think this town is plenty big enough
to both handle me and you

The roads may not be paved
at least not in gold and dreams
But that's stuffs never nearly as good
as they try to make it seem on the T.V.

Everyone hopes that they are broken,
Because if you're broken
That means that there is a cure,
A treatment,
A medication,
A program that can fix you.
If you're broken,
Then someone can make it stop.
The real fear is that you're fine,
And it can't get better.
The real fear is that this is normal.
It really hurts this much to lose a friend,
To move,
To not get the job,
Or to get the job.
Just to feel so sad and scared and disorientated.
It is all completely normal,
And you can't fix it.
No one fears being broken,
You can make that stop.
It's the real ability to feel pain that you can't change,
And that is terrifying.

This is a compilation of all the ugly things that lie in my head right now.

I've almost spent a whole season away from you, (I was hoping the cool air would be cleansing)
and still, the thought of you bubbles the acid in my stomach and makes me cry out.
I forget what it's like to be close to a person.  (Tell my friends I said hello.)
Trust is an imaginary concept, amirite? I don't think I did. (trust you)
I took a bubble bath last night, and thought of you.
I scrubbed my skin raw trying to remove it.
Much like your memory, it held fast.
I've come up with a comparison.
You: dog *****.
Me: dog.
Maybe, just maybe.
I can rewire my brain...
To feel disgusted at the thought of you.
My puppy dog eyes can't bear the sight of you.
To be honest, I'm embarrassed for feeling these things.
I wish they'd go away  but   I     can't      stop     feeling     them.

i tried so hard to clean up your mess
but i made it worse
and more confusing
now you want nothing to do with me
who was i kidding?

i can't clean up my own

So bear with me because i'm trying to figure out what life was
     You know
     What it used to be
and what it is now
        and if i'm doing life correctly
like if the sweat on my brow
       is supposed to weigh me down this much

so i asked a couple on a walk
    what is life
and they sarcastically answered that life is a box of chocolates
  You never know what you're going to get
i believe that saying died out
when single flavor boxes of chocolates were invented
so we're left to wonder
and stumble
and realize what life means just before we die
because everyone always told us
    *you're too young to understand this just yet

our bones
were finally warmed
enough so that
real smiles shone
through like sunshine
that loosened
our joints, allowing
the last of those pathetic piles
of snow to melt
from our
hearts

Head turns,
From side-to-side,
Wanting to turn,
And not,
Turn heads.