I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the scars on my wrist.
I'm sorry for my thoughts.
I'm sorry about my life.
I'm sorry that I can't be the girl you want me to be.
I'm sorry.

I'm screaming,
But no one hears me.

I'm screaming,
But no one cares to save me.

I'm drowning,
But no one sees me.

I'm drowning,
But no one will save me from myself.

This will be the last time.
The last time I think of you.
The last time I feel pain.
This is the last time.
The last time I open my eyes.
The last time I see your face.

If you want to laugh,
I will be your smile.
I will be anything that you need.

If you want to fly,
I will be your sky.
Anything you need, that's what I will be.

If you want to cry,
I will be your sholder.
Everything you want, that's what I will be.

If you want to love,
I will be your heart.
I will always be what you Neded.

No one sees the tears in her eyes.
No one sees the scars on her wrist.
No one sees the bruises on her body.
No one sees how much she's hurting.
No one sees how she stares at a knife, longing for the silence of death.

When this poem ends and is posted,
I will be gone.
When you feel my absence
Listen to the wind and hear my laughter.
Look up at the stars and know that I am happy.
When you feel the sun on your back know that I am there.
When you feel peaceful know that I am watching you.
When you feel like flying know that I am lending you wings.
Listen and you will hear my voice.
Look around and you will see me in everyday objects.

I will never truly leave.
So when you feel my absence
Listen
Look
And feel.

I told you that I would break one day
But you never paid that fact any attention.

You said "Just be strong,
That will get you through it all."

I tried so hard
That I could not see that you were suffering and breaking, too.

When I finally figured it out,
I was too late to help you.

You, my very best friend, was
Gone.

You could not see that there was a better way
And now, you're......  Gone.

And, still I grieve for
You.

Screaming
Crying
Help me, help me
No ones listening...

****** up
Insecure
Nervous
Emptiness.

Curled up in a ball,
Crying my heart out.
You said you would never hurt me,
But you did.

Trying to write my feelings away,
It's not working very well.
I can still feel the hurt.
I can still feel the pain.

What a fool I was.
I honestly thought that you loved me.
Now, I'm back at square one
With my heart broken again.
Only this time,
I'm never falling in love again.

I'm lost.
I don't know what to do.
People scream at me.
Tell me I'm worthless,
I'm a horrible person,
That I need to change.
But I can't.
I've tried and yet you still say these things
What am I doing wrong?
What can I do to become the person you can love?
What can I do to become the girl people won't hate?

Help.
I'm drowning in a river of tears.
Help.
Can you please save me from this horrible end?
Help.
Do you even care?

Run
Hide
Be found
Cower as you wait for the first hit.

Welcome to my life.
Are you sure you want to hang with me?

The beat of the music
Leads to a few simple moves,
But then those few moves
Lead to a whole dance
As my pain and sorrow are pushed away.
At least for a few minutes.
Where the music
And my steps
And leaps
And twirls
All come together to soothe me.

I don't care if you **** me.
I was already dead.

I don't care that you don't love me.
I can't be loved anyways.

As I sit here,
The words pour out.
Shining, shimmering.
Decorating the page with beautifully painful words.
A deep, scarlet red.
The words soak into the page,
Leaving their imprint on the readers.
Letting the readers soak up the emotions off of the page.
The pain,
The happiness,
The joy,
The amazement.
The words are pouring out of me
And I hope that they can help someone.

Gone
Gone
Gone
That's what I'll be.

Gone
Gone
Gone
I'm ******* done with it all.

Gone
Gone
Gone
Goodbye.

Tic, tock.
Tic, tock.
The clock is running out on you and me.

Tic, tock.
Tic, tock.
I'm sorry because I know that you blame me.

Tic, tock.
Tic, tock.
Stop blaming me for your mistake.

Tic, tock.
Tic, tock.
Your abuse has stopped.

His words screamed louder than her demons,
But what she didn't know was that he would leave her
And let her demons destroy her.

I loved you so much
But you still left me.
For a girl who would give you what you wanted.

I cried over you
But you never shed a tear over me.
Because you were too bust being 'entertained' by another girl.

I cut over you
But you only smiled at the scars they left.
Because you started to 'love' your new girl.

You said that she was too fat,
But you didn't know that she was starving herself.

You said that she had too many scars,
But you didn't know that she cut herself so maybe, just maybe, she could feel alive.

You told her to die,
But you didn't know that she would actually try to die.

I have been weak.
I have been strong.
But sometimes,
You need to see blood.

My mind
Is a
Dark place
Where thoughts of
Death
Are common.

I'm lost.
I'm losing my friends.
My family is horrible.
I'm losing my mind,
Trying to fight these thoughts of suicide.
Note I said trying,
But really its more like failing.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I'm tried of everything.
The lies,
The names screamed at me,
The hits I take.
I'm done with it all.
The only people I stayed for was my friends,
But I'm losing them.
I'm lost,
So very lost.

My heart is racing
With fear
As I wait for the first hit.

I don't remember how this started
But
I do know how it will end.

After the last hit falls,
I will crawl defeated, to my room
And drown my sorrow in alcohol.

It's time to say goodbye.
My life has finished its course.
My string of life about to be cut.

The only thing to do it say goodbye.
The only problem is that no one cares about me.
No on to care that I will soon be gone,
So what is the point of saying goodbye.

For a few days, I will be mourned for,
But then brushed aside as the girl who killed herself.
The whole world forgetting about me.
Forgetting that I used to exist.

So now it is only me and this blade,
And the blood dripping from my arm.
A fresh wave of pain and blood comes with each cut.

Soon I will rise this knife to my neck and slit my throat.
Soon, but not now.
I still have to say goodbye.

Zora,
Zoe,
Zoey,
Zoe Zoe.
So many nicknames,
But no matter what you were called,
You were still one of the greatest dogs I ever owned.
When my grandparents called today to tell me that you were gone,
My heart shattered.
You were with me ever since I was little.
You protected me.
You played with me.
You helped me through hard times in my life.
Now you are gone,
And yes, some people will say "she's just a dog, get over it and stop crying,"
But you were my best friend.
I can't replace you
And I feel like I can't live without you,
But I know that somehow I will manage.
It will be hard,
But I know that your spirit is still with me.
Zora,
I'm sorry I couldn't be by your side when you died.
I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye face to face.
I knew your time was ending,
But it didn't stop my heart from breaking.
Yes, I know,
You're just a dog.
But to me, you are more than a dog.
You are my childhood playmate.
You are my best dog friend.
You are my rock.
Although I guess I should say was,
But you still are my best dog friend.
You always will be even though you are gone.
I love you, Zora.
I always will.

I used to burn as brightly as the sun,
Until that light got extinguished.

I used to love,
Until my heart got shattered.

I used to be happy,
Until I saw your true colors.

I used to wish on a star,
Until I realised that it would not make a difference.

I used to be a writer,
Until you told me what I really was.

I'm afraid to fall again,
But its too late.
You have made me fall.

I'm afraid to be hurt again,
But you tell me you won't.
You have made me trust you.

I'm afraid you will leave me
When someone better comes along.
You could leave me in an instance.

I am the yin in yin and yang.
I am the shadows that appear in the day.
I am the night to the day.
I am the death to precious life.

I'm that girl
You see standing alone,
Outcasted by her 'friends'.

I'm that girl
With scars on her arms and
Covered in black.

I'm that girl
That suffers in silence,
Hush, girl, you can't speak.

I remember life before
You came.

Far away dreams
And locked doors.

I remember life before
Everything changed.

A shattered heart
And helplessness.

Fade.
I'll fade away from your memory.

Don't worry.
You barely even remember me now.

Do you remember when we sat on my roof and watched the stars?
I wish that I didn't remember that.

Do you remember the time you told me you loved me?
I was an idiot for trusting you.

Do you remember the time you left me?
I remember it all too clearly.

Before we continue
Playing this game of
Love,
There is something you
Must know.

Before we continue
Falling for
Each other,
You must know that
I am only going to
Break your heart.

Before we continue
Writing sweet things for
Each other,
You have to know
That you can't love me
Because no one can love me.

Before we continue
On this
Path,
You know that
I will always love you and I am sorry.

I'm falling from the sky.
My wings are shattered.

I'm falling for you.
As my heart shatters.

I'm falling.
And its my own fault.

What did I do to deserve you?
Are you blind or stupid or crazy for sticking around?

What did I do to deserve your love?
That's right, I don't deserve it.

What did I do to deserve your attention?
I don't deserve anything from you.

Please tell me what I did!
I need to find out.

Hush, girl,
Just bat your eyes.

Hush, boy,
Throw on your jersey.

Hush, dear child,
Play my little game.

I miss you.
It was my fault that I lost you though.
Just likes its my fault that I still love you.

I miss you so much.
I never wanted to leave you,
But sometimes you have to do something you don't want to.

I miss you.
I did what I had to do
In order to keep you safe.

I miss you so much.
I will always love you.
Just like I will always blame myself for what happened.

What you never knew
Ultimately destroyed me
And my whole life.

What you never knew
Was that I am a monster
That can't be controlled.

What you never knew
Was how I torture myself
Trying to be good enough to be a daughter worthy of you.

Baby, you broke me
And I can't be fixed
Because I'm missing you so bad.

I want to die.

So many years of
Pain
Expressed in a few simple
*Words.

I try to protect you,
I try to help you,
And yet you still call me a horrible friend?

I've stopped you from committing suicide,
I've always been there for you,
And yet I'm a horrible friend to you?

Thanks.
I guess I just needed to realise how ****** up
I am.

You.
Oh, how I despise that word.
Because of what you did to me.

You poisoned me a thousand times.
All without me knowing.
Because I was in love with you.

You made me blind
From the rest of the world.
Because you played me for a fool.

Grief
Anger
Madness...
It's all spiraling down on me,
Resting on my shoulders,
Silently crushing me
As my cries for help go unanswered.

A strong night breeze blows my hair away from my neck,
Exposing the scars on my neck.
The moon watches silently as its cold light glitters off my knife.
A cold breeze blows against my back,
Carrying the words "Hurry up and die."

A night breeze blows over my still and silent body,
Carrying a shrill scream.
A boy leans over my body, crying silently.
The stars combine to show my very last message to you.
'I love you. I'm sorry. I had to. Please don't hate me. Goodbye'

You words,
Once so sweet,
Are now like
Knifes that make me
Bleed.

Run
Run
Run
There is no escape.

Run
Run
Run
You cannot hide.

Run
Run
Run
Your demons are coming for you.

Here I fall,
Waiting for you.
I will wait forever.
Even though as I wait,
I can't breathe.
I can't speak.
But as I fall,
I know that you will soon appear.
I'm free falling
And I don't know where you are.
I'm trusting you to be there to catch me.
So here I am waiting with the only words I am to speak:
"And here I fall, yet again."