Run
Run
Run
There is no escape.

Run
Run
Run
You cannot hide.

Run
Run
Run
Your demons are coming for you.

A million thoughts
In my head.
All focusing on
You.

A million thoughts
Turned upside down.
All because of
You.

A million thoughts
Sharp as shards of glass
Focused on everything
You have done.

I wish I knew a way to
Stop.

I wish that I could stop your
Suffering.
I wish that I could endure your
Pain for you.
I wish that I could build a
Place to protect you.
I wish that I knew that you
Love me as much as I love you.
Zach, what I wish most of all is
That I was with you.

Stop.
Just stop.
Stop blaming me,
You're the one who was abusing me.
You're the one who hurt me.
So just stop.
Please.

I always wondered what you would do
If I walked away from our  friendship.
But now, I don't have to wonder.
You walked away for me.

Pulsing,
Throbbing,
Beating.
I can feel it.
My heart.
Beat-Beating in my chest.

It's telling me that I'm alive.
Shadows of doubt are fading away with every
Beat-Beat of
My heart.

I am alive.
I am free.
I am who I choose to be.

You stole my heart
When you ran away.

You have made me break my promise
Not to cut again.

You broke me
And I cannot be fixed.

I'm drowning.
And no one cares enough to save me.

I've run out of words to say,
The pain is taking over,
All I can do is feel,
And I can't speak at all.

It hurts.
It hurts when you are betrayed.
Especially if the one who betrayed you was the one friend you have known for seven years.

But you know what they say.

The worst thing about betrayal is that it doesn't come from you enemies.
It comes from your closest friends.

It's strange, isn't it.
One minute you can be friends with someone,
Only to be hurt by them the next.

It's strange.
One minute you are happy,
Only to want to cry the next.

Everything is strange.

I love you.
I tell you this almost everyday,
But somehow, you don't believe me.

I love you.
You tell me this almost everyday,
But somehow, I don't believe you.

I love us.
We are the perfect two,
Somehow, I know that this is true.

People think that my life is perfect.
My smiles are real.
My cover wrists aren't scared.
My eyes don't shed a tear.

People are wrong.
My smiles are fake.
My wrists are scared.
My eyes shed thousands of tears.

People think that my life is perfect.
My parents are sweet and nice.
My body is only bruised because I fell.
My spirit isn't shattered.

People are wrong.
My parents are monsters.
My body is bruised because of them.
My spirit is completely shattered into a million pieces.

I have a stalker.
But the thing is,
I know who he is.

He is my 'friend.'
Or at least I thought he was.
Spencer...

Grab me.
Follow me.
Watch me.

I want to tell you stop,
But you won't listen.
You won't stop.

Would you remember me
If I was gone tomorrow?
Never to be seen again?

Would you remember me
And all the great times we had?
Or would the memorys fade out of existance?

I lost myself in a sea of sorrow.
I lost my sense of direction,
I don't know which way is up or down.
I lost the only people I care about because they left me.
I lost the will to get out of this sea.

I've been left alone.
No one to call my friend.
No one cares.
My worst fears have come true.
And I don't know how much more I can take.

I sit alone in the dark crying.
We broke up,
But I still love you,
And yet you love another girl.
I got another guy to try and replace you,
But I cant.
So again I sit in a dark room,
As tears create another river of sorrow and loss.

Time seems to stop
As I sharpen my knife.
Maybe its better this way.
Now you don't haver to pretend that you love me.
Now you can be free of me.
Now you can smile and be happy,
Especially now that I am out of the picture.

If you ask me why I have so many scars
I will tell you the truth.
I have been weak.
I have been strong.
But sometimes
You need to see blood.

In the middle of a field of daisy's
Runs a river made of tears.

The river of tears grows everyday
Because of the tears cryed each day.

The days pass and it grows and grows,
Filling the field with sorrow.

One by one the daisy's die
As the river of tears overflows.

You say I'm insane.
You are right.
I am insane.
I am broken.
I am shattered.
I am absolutely insane.

As I sit here, watching the sun set,
I can't help the flow of memories that come to haunt me.
I can't help but think of the times we watched the sun set together.
I used to be sad every time I sat on this roof,
But now, it is the safest place for me.

Pathetic.
Disappointment.
*****.

Ha.

I thought you were supposed to be my friend.
All that time I spent by your side.
Every single time you left me and I stayed by your side.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND!

But no, you had to ******* mess with my life.
You had to make my other friends hate me.
You had to make me want to die even more.

What a wonderful friend you are.
You said we would be together forever.
You ******* liar.

I wanted a guy who would finally say
I love you
And actually mean it.

I thought that you were that guy.

I feel like I'm drowning
In a river of tears.

I never knew that you were hurting
Until you sent me that last message.

As I read that one simple word
It finally dawned on me that you were breaking.

I was so afraid and worried
That I was too late to help you.

And I was too late because
By the time I burst into your room, you were almost gone.

I tried to stop the bleeding,
But it was too late, no, I was too late.

As you died you weakly made me promise
To stay alive, if not for myself, for him.

I should never have made that promise
Because everyday I am one step closer to breaking it.

Nothing.
A vast expanse of emptiness.
There is nothing.
Only me and these winding thoughts.
Down,
  Down,
     Down,
Thoughts swirling down into the abyss of my mind.
Always remembering what has been said.
All the hopelessness I want to forget.
Anything I onced hoped to happen, but never did.
Down,
  Down,
     Down,
Hello, dear thoughts,
I welcome you to my mind again,
I have become accustomed to these dark thoughts.
I will survive these thoughts.
Down,
  Down,
     Down,
Here we go again.
Here in this blank abyss.

You told me to be strong
And I'm trying to be strong.
But even the strongest diamond
Eventually **breaks.

I'm staring at a monster.
I don't know what to do.
I'm standing alone with no one to help me.
I must do this.
I must beat this.
For if I don't,
I fear I might die.
This monster is already killing me slowly.
All the words it whispers into my ear.
Fat, Ugly, Worthless.
How am I to beat a monster that is right?
It numbing my emotions to where all I can feel is nothing.
It is destroying me,
But I must destroy it.

Pink,
Magenta,
Red,
All the same,
Just different hues.
Just like me and you.

Why do you insist on saving me?
Can't you see that I can't be saved?

Why do you invade my thoughts?
I keep trying to push you out of my mind, but I can't.

Why can't you leave me alone?
I don't want to hurt you.

Why can't you just hate me like everyone else?
It would be easy to.

Love.
What even is the point?
I've been betrayed.
I've been stabbed in the back.
All because love has blinded me from what is really there.
I was told that I was loved,
Yet left the very next day.
It blinded me until I was forced to see the truth.
I don't trust love anymore.
It just plays with my emotions.
Forcing me to love someone,
Knowing that they will leave me.

The sky goes grey
As it rains blood.
The screams of angels
Roar like the wind.
As the angels finally fall.

The house was burning.
Not literally of course,
But every word spoken was a spark that never quite faded out.
Every action taken just added more charcoal
Until the smoke filled my lungs
And I couldn't breathe.

The house was burning.
There was no safe place for me.
Every emotion was used as lighter fluid
As each day the fire became brighter, louder
I can still taste the ashes, dry as the desert sand

The house was burning.
And I was the one with the water
I was always the one to make sure it never burned for long
I drowned in the water as I tried to put the fires out
So lay me to rest alongside this burning house,
Lay me in the ashes and smoke that now feel like home

Open my eyes and tell me I'm alive.
The ghost of you still haunts me.
Shattering my soul, my heart, my world.
So, open my eyes and tell me I'm alive.
Take my shattered soul and lay it to rest with you.
On the haunted hill that we used to share.
While I stay here, with my eyes open, my heart beating.
Still alive.
But without you.
So, for the final time, open my eyes and tell me I'm alive.
My darling, we will soon meet yet again
On the haunted hill that we used to share.

Shattered screams fade into the background
Seconds pass, though it feels like hours
I can't seem to remember your smile
The sweet sound of your laugh, ringing out through the room
The way your eyes glowed the perfect hue
The way your hair flowed in gentle waves
The way you lit up the room just by walking in
Your presence was not loud
But it called to me
I was captivated by you
Our moments spent together, our silent song woven together
It was not enough
I was not enough
Now all that is left of us is in shattered memories
The shards laid bare with no one left to see
As my memory fades into the night
Maybe those shards of memory might help me to find my way back to you