"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

he reminds me of constellations.
not the kind you read about,
or the kind you can see.

but the kind deep out in space,
the ones like waves
swelling within a vast sea.

he is like smelling salts.
waking me up
a little more
each day.

in fact, he is the granule of sugar
looming over the edge
of my morning coffee cup.

but he is also the moon,
shining her smile
brightly upon my ever seeking eyes.

he is the sun,
my reason for waking up on time

and still being a bit late
because i hadn't the time
to admire enough of his beauty.

and, right now,
he is the stolen breath
that just made my heart skip a beat.

i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

All I can say is that I like your face, and I like it a lot.
And you've got that.
And me.
And I'm here.
For you.
You have me.

sometimes i seriously doubt
if i will ever recover
from this loss,
this bruise
from losing you.

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night
to sweat soaked sheets and mascara-drenched pillow cases,
curled up in full fetal-position
and i think about you
and how i'm lucky that i even accomplish falling sleep
at all.

i think that's just the difference between the body and the mind -
the body won't stop contorting itself to match your
dissected heart
just because you did or did not decide to say
goodbye to someone.

and this is why i woke up with a knots like stones
inside of my back,
practically paralyzed
it's like my body is trying to punish me
for going against its
ferocious nature. all it wants
is to be back inside you.

sometimes i seriously doubt
if i will ever recover
from this loss,
this bruise
from losing you.

broken has made a cold home out of me.

The waves
collided with one another.
A genesis, in grief and ashes,
seemingly outside
the gates of hell.

The screams
of new birth
suspended me
in the air.
As thick as tree branches;
as crooked as their twigs;
they fastened around my hands,
and I soared high above
the disharmony.

Wavering, incomplete.

My life
flashed before my eyes
and I saw you
standing amidst a red sunrise.
"Don't wait," you said.

"Don't wait."

The world of my spirit
was freed from the shackles of my flesh

and the skies were reborn.

sometimes...
  you are a noose around my neck
   strangling
     suffocating
       terrifying

sometimes...
   you are like a single
terrifying  entity
  an octopus emerging from the deep
    seeking me out
   tentacles constantly moving
testing
  embracing
stinging
  clinging
you are beautiful
   but so hungry
your arms cover me
   ******* at my life force
d r a i n i n g me.
i want to help you
but i am so small
compared to your greatness
...i am surrounded.

sometimes...
   individuals separate
and between gaping breathes
   dangling from the noose
or glimpses between
   the great mass of tentacles
i see one alone
  afraid
on the edge of the abyss
   or a rare
bright eyed spirit
challenging
    brilliant
i reach
  grasp around the wrists
and we hold tight to each other

sometimes...
   you grow to my height
you look into my eyes
   and teach me
you see my struggles
   my fear
and you teach and learn as i do
   and I revel in you

sometimes....
i worry.
at your indifference.
at your disrespect.
at your unwillingness to help.
at your lack of empathy.
at your unwillingness to learn.

sometimes...
i see in you
   every burst of sunlight
    every hope of humanity
      every drop of my love

always...
i see a being of light
deserving of respect
    of love
        of safety and protection
           a mind of intelligence
              churning with ideas
                 bursting with creative energy

always...
i give you my everything.