I make sure to punch my bf in the face
Just to let him know im not ******* around
Then i slink off to a corner
And pound the
Rest of the *****

Before they walk in to check on me
I backslap my tears from the darkness
" of course I'm ok, *******."
Then peer out into that song.

That song which beckons on the sea
Which makes me want to love and fight
I crunch a can , and squeeze a lung
And gasp An indeterindeterminate light

He with the hard ***, tats, and gruff
Will beguile lonely princesses
With fluffy words for instances
When vibrators aren’t enough

Revel in the night, the smoke and liquid
The sound waves washing over your limber electric body
The wild lights spinning, tilting, bursting in and out of musky darkness
Trickling with sweat and industrial poison,
                    Dripping with loneliness and longing
         Inhale the voices, howls and whispers brushing against   your      earlobes
Tingling your spine, swaying your future of marble, concrete      and rebar
                            The night is organic. It grows in you.
                      Its fragrance blooms. You can taste its
Sweet vapid fingers on your tongue.  
              Its rhythm surging in your chest.
 Swelling. Your blood cells rush it to the most desolate lighthouse
      Of your soul. Even that last one, out beyond the craggy shores
  Its light orbiting an ethereal void shrouded in icy fog
       Let this floating torch warm even those derelict  spiraling steps
                Let it illuminate forgotten chambers cobwebbed and dank
                Your life can wait. Your envelopes impregnated with bills
                                  Your appointments, treadmill and alarms itch
                    Death will curate you through your museum of horrors
                    Your monochromatic 50 year yawn can resume at dawn
                                                      But not tonight. Tonight
                               Revel in the music, laughter, curves, leather, lips!
        Abstracted desires - embodied, enraptured, erupting
                                      Reincarnate like a drunken god
                           Dancing on a graveyard of dreams

you fight the feeling, but it’s like trying to quiet hunger during an exam
rumbling, churning, growling, snarling from the pit
where universes and chakras intersect in dazzling purple gold vermilion
it explodes from you -
in waves in waves in waves
from your core to your muscles through your limbs, zapping from your fingers, toes and tongue
like lightning splitting a weeping willow from within
dazed and thunderstruck
you can’t resist the scent, the songs, the polaroids,
the lips or eyes shining between passing clouds or shimming stars
everything pulls you back like a coiling riptide
you’re fighting a parachute caught in a tempest
and all you want is to cut loose
to be sane and sound to be grounded to be planted to be rooted
in soil not turmoil
in the ever-blooming fields of love
for once awash in air and floating cherry blossoms
liberated from euphoric eddies and stretching shadows
deepening across the padded rooms of your heart

I'll probably wake up sobbing again tomorrow
Don't mind my drunken confessions
I have the tolerance of a gnat
But the emotional girth of an elephant
Weighing my light body down
That's my tragedy I suppose
If I were to be dramatic
Though drama emits catharsis
Drama is meaning and beauty - creation
In short: not me
In other words
I'm love sick
Sick for it
Sick with it
Sick in its absence
Just straight fuckn sick
Don't mind my vulgarity
It is what one uses
When convention fails
Expletives are the outcasts in language
They wear leather and smoke all night
While the rest of the dictionary
Sleep, pay taxes, and attend PTA meetings
Profane words are death row inmates
Offering their final translucent confessions
Stripped of pomp or rhetoric
****. Mierde. Hijo de la puta madre.
There I go again
It's late and I'm on my third drink
And am becoming vaguely beautiful
In spite of the tarantula
Crawling inside me, through me
Its prickly legs sprawling
Its ugliness spreading
Until I feel like clawing
Clawing at my breast
To get it out
Get it out!
Anyhow, I'll let you sleep
Shhhhh....shhhhh....
it's fine, really
Come morning I will sob on my stoli-scented pillows
While others yawn and smack their alarm clocks...