I wake up in a dream where I'm dreaming
  you're by my side
I hold your hand and pull you close
I can feel your heart beating against mine
I brush your hair from your neck and start
  to whisper in your ear "I lo..."
And then the dream is broken as you  
  dissappear.
I roll over to see your ghost walking out of
  my room
I try to call it back by finishing the words
  I had almost said
But no sound escapes my mouth except
  an echo of the dead
I feel my blood racing with my dreams
  courage turning cold
I hear a bird singing and beating its wings
  against my ribs
Shh little bird
If I could I would set you free
I know you're too beautiful for me
I close my eyes again and try to dream
  within a dream
But the words I never finished speaking
  haunt my empty room
And I find myself unable to even write
  them out
The words keep repeating
The bird keeps signing
But my doubts keep drowning their
  beauty out

I could shadow the voice of Baudelaire
And write tragic dark lines of flowers in pain
I could refrence Neruda or sit on a happy cloud with Blake
I could get drunk off Bukowski and steal from his grave
Or *** some dharma off of Kerouac while mispronouncing his name
And the list goes on
As does their influnce and voice
And they all slip in from time to tragic rhyme
We are all but theives
And death will make liars of us all
When our bodies turn to dust
In the **** and dirt of our shallow graves
I could...
And I do...
It might be my pen in my hand that I hold
But I don't always have complete control
Just like the heart
Living inside me
Crying inside me
Not wanting to die inside me
Its fire out of my hands
Too hot for my blood
Too pure for my eyes
Its yours now
To break or to hold
To care for or ******
To love or ignore
Its gone wild and rabid
And madly in love
Praying and singing
To you

I stare out to the blanket of stars
painted across the night
and I feel the calling of home
somewhere out in the distance
beyond the reach
and touch of my fingertips
but so deeply rooted
into the beat and rhythm
of my heart
and to what distant glimmering light
have i been torn
from what star was my blood born
and how long before I return

and I have had my homes here on earth
in the faces and names
that I have found love
on the beds and the couches
I have slept and crashed
as a king
and a peasant
and lover and friend
I have lived in houses
made of wood
and hearts made of blood and soul

and yet it is always the stars
that leave me longing
for the home that is away
and inside my bones

I want to crawl into your darkness
I want to be there beside you
Pounding away at the heart of your pain
Digging into the earth of your despair
I want to pound and dig until my flesh splits open
And my bones break
Until my hands are useless
And then I would continue to
Beat on your pain with the nubs of my wrists
And I would dig deeper still into your dirt and soil of depression
Going and going
Wearing out my skin and marrow
Up my arm to my elbow
There with you through the nightmares and angst
Screaming and crying until my throat bleeds
Dying with you again and again
I want to be there in the thick of your doubts and worries
Pounding and digging until my arms are gone
My shoulders worn and my ribs and collar bones exposed
And if we must keep going and going
Farther into your darkness
I would chew on the dirt
And kick and lunge
I would stay there by you until i had nothing left to give you
For what good would my arms be
If they could not hold you and keep you safe
What good would my legs be if not to walk by your side through your darkest days and loudest nightmares
What good are my hands if they cannot hold yours and keep them warm or give them comfort
What good is my head if my mind was not enouhh to help you through  the bad hurt days and nights and could not help you find a reason to smile
And without your smile what would I need of my eyes.
I would give up my all
Just to be there
With you
In the dark
Digging
And
Pounding
Away
Just to see you have a moment
Of peace
And
Happiness

Dead poets and dancing bones
Bleeding letters with no way home
Lost thoughts lying still
Waiting, waiting, but never will..

How lucky is the gun
that never has to feel
the pulse of the blood
that it spills

how lucky is the gun
that thunders so loud
it never has to hear
the screams  of the futures
it steals away

how lucky is the gun
to know no guilt or sin
that is left behind
in the gunpowder
that now stains our hands

Every word
Every syllable
Every letter...
And I fall a little more
Falling faster
Falling deeper
Every sound
Every image
Every message
And my heart escapes me
Beating wildly
Flying madly
Every morning
Every day
Every evening
Always dreaming
Always smiling
Always falling
For everything
Of you

**** some of this time with me
All the little simple things
The moments of the day
Quickly fade away
Lets ****** simplicity
For blissful memories
Bask in the warmth of the sun
Enjoy the feel of the rain
Let the cold of winters breath
Leave its sting deep inside our chests
There is no bad weather
Under the lips of your smile
Palm to palm
Fingers entwine
Holding love naked
And bare
True little moments
Killing some time with me
As I Fall and I am
In love with you

Falling asleep in dreams
Of warm silken thread
And hearts blood string
Forming a cloud cocoon
Waking up in this slumber
Streching arms into wings
Butterfly beautiful blue eyes
In this never ending sleep
In these clouds
Where my heart
Now only dreams
And only falls
And I only have
Love for
You

Let lightning course
through your pulse
and let your heart
beat loud with thunder

become the storm of your life
and the wind of your breath
let nothing move you
that does not move you

cry when you must
and love whenever you can
embrace every emotion
no matter how painful
  or blissful
    or mistakenly sinful

feel everything this life
has to offer you
both the good and the bad

learn from your mistakes
and bad relationships
and love each new day
and new lover more fiercely
from what your past
has taught you

become more open
each time you are broken
grow and rise up after every fall

never tame the wild beast
that lives in the marrow
of your bones
you can let you heart get stolen
     but never
   let your heart be caged

let your love be a gift
that expects nothing in return
for any other expectation
is not the truth of love
the reward for kindness
is the act of being kind

you will often find yourself
lost at sea
and when you do remember

let lightning course
through your pulse
and let your heart
beat loud with thunder
and be the storm
that carries you home

Bodies made of honey
Souls rebuilding Kubla Khan
Hearts dripping sweetness
Pulsing gold blood through
Endless rivers of piety
Deep in the chasms
Of forbidden fidelity
A dream made and undisturbed
Between the soft and silky folds
Of sinew and quintessence
Along the edge of primrose path
Trembling hands did stich
Vivacity to consciousness
And gods of nectar pith
Did decree no act of love
Even those of
lewd and shameful tendrils
Could be spoken of as a wickedness
Your whispers rapturous delight
Made thunder bloom and devil cry
As your fingers lightning  
Galvanized the rage within the chambers of my heart
As crested waves did beat and pound
The tissue of my temperament
My soul capsized within did drown
And sank through depths unknown to man
A sinuous dance to madness called
And as Eden and leaf do fade and grieve
In this pulsing gold of honeys blood
By Moira I am bound to stay
Eternity a plaything
Of our love
Free to pleasure of endless flow
No thought or act a sin
Worlds collide and every moons heart do palpitate
To watch the stars rewrite the history of flame
As we walk and burn the surface of the sun with our feet
And our bodies cooled by its flickering tounges of fire
Our two hearts forged to one
And beat a song of huricanes
Engulfing and extinguish its blaze to the core
Collapsing the suns immortal heart
Planets swallowed to the vehemence birth of the black hole left behind
And we swim effortlessly from its rend and tear and pull
The universe ours to make a new
Your name makes ever gods lip quiver
And their eyes jealous and envious in heart
And they dare not speak to you as any less than their queen
In this place where you have
Become the beauty and light
And sun and heart
Of love itself
I am no king
Nothing more than
A feeble fool
Under the gaze of
Forevers sunset and eternities sunrise in the infintie blue seas
Choreographed in your eyes
Just a broken toy
Left to the care and disposition of your whim
To be played with
Or left to gather dust on your shelf
Yours and yours alone
Imprisoned in this resin pulse of gold
Favored by fate
To wear these blissful chains
No desire
Other than to walk
Naked through your incandescent souls scintillating luster
My love for you infused to immortality
My heart to suffer
To spare yours pain
My souls black blood and quill
To write song and prose
Of your pure truth bloomed
Here pulsating in honeycomb rivers flow
My entirety burned to this purpose and desire
My only act to walk through these flames
Only existing to be consumed by the blaze
And to live in your fire

If we are to question are we different?  Man and women, on the surface the question itself is rhetorical and we need not point out the obvious.  It is of the existential scalpel that peels away the skin and flesh and disregards the blood and guts, the bones must be broken and burned and turned to ash and left for the wind before the question has any meaningful validity.  Though we will find no facts to our answers here, only the rhetoric  of opinions and beliefs.  We can only prove ourselves fools to pretend to know what we become or what we are without our bodies.  But to avoid the greys and shadows of things we cannot prove is even more foolish.  The question now becomes tangled in dissecting ideologies of the soul, spirit, mind, and heart.  Is there a difference in soul and spirit?  Is there a heart or mind that lives beyond the physical world?  If not, is it just lights out in the end?  A one and done life, no heaven or hell, no reincarnation, no returning to the stars, no second dips into the primordial ooze?  If that is the case, if nothing exists or lives beneath our skin or in our blood... then the question itself needs no other answer than the obvious.  But why ask it then?  Even when we know that an answer to a question can not have a right or wrong reply, that each answer we receive will be based on opinions, beliefs, faith, or feelings... doesn't the question carry a more important weight?  It is in both the differences and similarities that our answers place us within a common ground.  In a place we seek to find a deeper understanding and consciousness of one another.  If in our matter of beliefs there is something living within us, If perhaps the soul acts as the body to our spirit, mind, and heart at the end of our current journey and we do return to a primordial ooze or to the night sky.  If we travel from this life to another while leaving our bodies behind... Then the question would come to its full bloom and I would say (without knowing but feeling) that we are all more similar than we are different and in that we would most likely be the same.

Educating the masses
  to grow into *****
Birds with clipped wings
Just pretending to sing
Drink from the bottle
  or nibble the cake
Red pill or Blue pill
  our fates are the same
The reflection of freedom
  is weighed down in heavy chains

"Can I eat you?"  him
"Umm, no..."  me
"But I want to be more Japanese!!!" him

When I woke him up one day the first thing my son said was
  "Eyes are like earths for little tiny people"

One day when explaining how sometimes you have to compromise when working on ideas or projects with other people he responded by saying,
"You can't let them steal your mind and make you think what they want you to think"

We've been reading Frankenstein and one night as we finished reading he said "I can't wait to make my own Frankenstein monster"...

I still get shy... even hiding so far away... I want to say "hey" or "hello" or "How are you" or "..." but then I over think and over analyze and second guess myself and tell myself you're  probably busy and convince myself it probably isn't a good idea and then write another poem to hide behind ...  and I spend the day thinking and sighing and dreaming about you...

Is it an empty wish
For you to give me
My last first kiss
I know that
It must seem
Hopeless
If I took the chance
And showed you
My naked heart
Shinning brightly
For you
Would you
Then belive
The words
I love you
I want so
Much more
Than you
To be
A lustful dream
An empty fantasy
My fist clenched
In an empty bed
With stained sheets
Of self gratification
I want
Everything
That I can't have
I want
Nothing more
Than your
Smile
To be
My morning
Sun
Your kiss
To be my
Wishes true
Your hand
Simply
In mine
To stop
All time
By
Telling you
I love you

In this mad mad world I was lucky enough to fall in love
Love gives the hand a reason to pick up a pen
Love gives the lungs a reason to breath
Love gives the heart a reason to beat
Love gives the lips a reason to dream
Even if only in a dream I was lucky enough to fall in love

She is the soft sultry perfection of beauty
and has the charm and  seduction of poetry
from forbidden realms
and he wants to read every word waiting in the blood of her kiss
and trace every slow syllable
of lust and pleasure echoing from her throart
her heart beat is the song the gods make sacrifices too
her skin is the silk canvas of loves endless dreams
her eyes could swallow the sun
and outshine every star of the night
the curves of her hips and ******* and smile
make every moon blue and envious
she teaches fire to dance
and faries the art of mischief
she is neither here or there
and is always part
of anything that is beautiful

In every breath
   in every beat

       she was a poem

in every thought
   in every dream

       she was a poem

Time stood still
    and eternity held its breath

       and

         she was a poem

and there beneath her breast
      beneath her ribs

was her heart
    and in her heart
      
           she was a poem

the one poem
     the universe had
            that was
                  more beautiful than love....

Oh sweet beauty
Let me love you
Let me ride this love to you
Like a lost comet
In eternities embrace
Let our souls bloom
Let our bodies entwine
Let our eyes crash
Let our mouths meet
Let our fingers rain
Let our hands flow
And let our  love explode
Like worlds colliding
Suns dying
Stars igniting
Moons crumbling
Heavens trembling
Hells falling
Oceans parting
Paradises losing
Nirvanas dreaming
Passions flaming
Hearts pounding
Pounding hard
Let us fall
Too quickly
Too deeply
Too far
Too much
And then
My sweet beauty
Let us fall
And love
And pound away
More and
More
Farther and
Farther
Deeper and
Deeper
Faster and
Faster
Until we
Brake and crash
Through
Forevers  
Door
And there
We'll live
And laugh
And cry
And dance
And love
Beyond
The hands
Of time
And the whims
Of fate

I'm  so horribly in love that I've been writing bad poetry with only one thumb and one eye closed and if I ran into her tomorrow I would belive it must be a dream and do something stupid and fall to one knee and propose and she would laugh and say no because thats the kind of thing that  happens when one writes bad poetry with one thumb and one eye closed

Lost and stranded on this island in the center of you
I chanced past your image, words, and voice
And they all sang to me and now I am lost here deep in your sea
I dared stare in your eyes too long
And fell to the endless depth of the oceans within
Every since I've been writing you love letters in the sand
Watching the crashing waves carry my words out with the tide
I've stuffed bottle after bottle with
Wish you where here notes
And secret whispers
Tossing them against the hard blowing wind
And into the wide beautiful open waters  of you surrounding me
Dreaming that you will read the letters
And open the bottles and learn my secrets
Hoping that you will smile in knowing my secret
And reading my stories of this love lost castaway
Waiting for you
To find me here
To join me and let our
Naked hearts live in forevers sunset
And lose our souls to the eternal night
Becoming prisoners in one anothers arms
Never longing to be free
Were we would smile
And laugh
And be happy
And love eachother
Endlessly

I want to get out of my skin
  and invent a new sin
I want to break all my bones
  and burn down my home
I want to stare into the windows
  of my soul
And see a sea full of eyes staring
  back at me
I want to escape the weight of
  all the worlds lies
And find the place were monsters
  and madness dance

As if falling from one dream into another
I awake to see your soft smile
and kind eyes looking down at me

the comfort of heaven fills my heart
as your grace and beauty
fill the room with warmth
and carve out a moment of eternity
in perfect crystallized form

a trinket of time that will never dull
never wither in the passing days
or months
or years

a summer sunset immortalized
to always sit and rest on the horizon
of a never ending dream
to never sink below the sea
to never sleep beneath the mountains

a simple moment perfect
in every aspect
of love and all its beauty

All I want is too much
Too much for me to ask
Too much for you to give
I want to make you laugh
I want to make yo blush
I want to make you love
  and love and Iove
Love me for loving you
Love you for loving me
Endless circles going
Around and round
All I want is too much
Too much for me to ask
Too much for you to give
I want to steal your heart
I want you to steal mine
   in return
I want to walk hand in hand
Until we wear out our feet
Then crawl on our knees
Then slither on our bellies
Until theres nothing left of us
And we both become a part
Of this road to forever
All I want is too much
Too much of you
Your love
Your heart
Your soul
Your everything

Look at Charlie breathing still
Look at Charlie dreaming still
Look at Charlie lying still
Don"t fight their war son
Don't fight their war mom
It's not mine or yours
It's not his or hers
It's not the poor or grieving
It belongs to the fat guys eating
It belongs to the rich guys thieving
Dying of old age
Screaming of old hate
Killing Charlie to get their way

Sometimes you just have to put your tears on the page
And let your love
Rage rage
Rage
True love has got to have that hurt
Just ask the universe
Why do you think
The moon is always
Cry cry
Crying
I never meant to fall
You never tried to steal
My heart
I fell though
Like sudden death
To madness
Loves sweet misery
Came and took
Me away
Above the clouds
Happy as a loon
Watching eternities sunrise
In those endless ocean eyes
My heart in your hands
To break
It happens
No blame
You never tried to steal it
It leapt into your hands
First chance it had
I don't blame it
I didn't trip over this edge
I jumped
I had too
Too beautiful and perfect
To let this chance pass
And I fell
Into this mad mad love
You can break it
I'll still be here
Heart or no heart
Madly in love
I won't leave you alone
I'll always be here
With you
Whenever you need me
I'll be at the end of the sea
Watching that eternal sunrise
In those endless ocean eyes