what happened
or what's going on
or why he did what he did.

the way she's feeling
the way they're all feeling,
what I'm feeling.
So complicated.

when I cried
and you didn't.
while I slept,
and you couldn't.

why it happened there
and happened then.
What I can't do
and what I can.

why the world is this way now.
why my thoughts have shifted.
why it couldn't be different.


Why?

I don't know.

Rain makes me feel so much better,
content,
refreshed,
at peace,
with power,
and probably less likely to go take a shower.

I sat on your lap
while we chewed pink bubblegum.
I knew you didn't like it,
but you assured me you did.

We blew bubbles
until I knew how.
Over and over.
I made you laugh
so hard you cried.

My little arms
were wrapped tight around your neck.
I laid my head on your chest,
and I still remember
your perfect, sweet smell.

I yawned,
you stroked my head.
And you told me,
"Time to spit out the bubblegum,
and get some rest."

You carried me on your hip
up to my bed.
Although that night
all we did was chew bubblegum,
it was a night well spent.

One of us sees a storm.
visibility is low,
winds are high,
as a blizzard swirls and howls.
The hazy sky rages forevermore.

It's always been, and will it always?
At the corner of her room,
her face is hidden by emotion.
Soon snowflakes will fall for the last time.

The other sees nothing but the same.
The same old rain
Every single day.
The grey sky sheds its tears infinitely.

Its always been, and will it always?  
At the corner of her room,
She rests her head on a fist.
Soon the yellow rain jacket will find its hook.

The snow crunches rhythmically
as I thump the ground.

Over
and over
and over
they pound.

I run the streets in a sharp, cold air,
and oh how I've missed the running sound.

Thoughts.

They swim
they creep
they whisper
they speak
they distract
they attack
they advance
they mislead

This head of mine with an abnormal amount of thoughts,
intelligent, but confused, and occasionally distraught.

It's strange

that we're scared to be afraid
it hurts to show pain
and somewhat prideful to be vain.

Wouldn't it be easier
if we weren't all so emotionally insane?

It's strange.

This morning my green tea
It gave me an epiphany
That caffeine got to me
And man was I set free.

I saw who I was
and remembered who I am.
Sometimes, that's all it takes.
Now I remember,
those Peanut Butter and Jelly days.