I lost you again today.
It wasn't sudden-
Your absence settled into my hand,
Sewn in like a button.

But it wasn't you,
But the light that threads through,
Stitching its warmth where you once outgrew.

Quietly,
I place my hand in the sun's soft glow,
Chasing the warmth you silently stole.

The heat,
Though a shadow of yours,
Was close-
I almost tasted home,
But it left a sour lump in my throat.

It was still a taste-
Better than leaving your tongue dry.

I lapped up the heat
Until my blisters split and dried.

I'm standing outside,
Anywhere but nowhere without you,
Trying to cup liquid sunlight,
But it slips right through;

Every hue feels empty now,
In the wake of you.

I guess that is the price
For loving you.

I don't think I am enough anymore.  
I can't breathe into you a new life or heal your Broken heart.  
Even the blood I shed to wet your Earth  
Was still not enough to stop us from falling apart.  

Maybe it is a good thing, this moment of clarity,  
To teach me that in loving you, I do not need to Lose myself necessarily;  
I only need to be mindful.  
To be mindful of the moments we shared,  
Mindful of how much of my soul to bear.  

But this does not mean I do not care.  
I finally realized that I was giving too much,  
I was suffocating you with my own air.  

In a way, it is for the best—  
For now, I will learn to breathe for myself,  
To make myself whole before I can give love to Someone else.  

I needed time to see that healing does not come from you alone,  
That what wounds I tried to mend in you were Echoes inside me too.  

If only I had learned sooner,  
I was trying to heal a part of me I saw in you...  

Goodbye, not to love, but to the part of me that Tried to save you.

Before you seek forgiveness, understand,
It was never my intention to draw blood.
But words, like stones, leave wounds unhealed,
And cannot be beaten down to mud.

Yet your silence echoes louder than any plea,
A denial that fester's endlessly.
No matter how much you crave to manipulate The truth,
It still flows in our blood.

The truth, like fate, forevermore,
Will bind a graveyard of hate.
It will never wash away.
A shared history, you and I,
Painful truths we made along the way.
Acts we cannot hide.

Your bloodied knuckles can stain the stone,
But it stands defiant, even if alone.
Come, take your place, and I will fulfill mine,
But know this truth, grown deeper than the Bone:

You can flip the script, or soften old blows,
But our scars have been sown.
So choke on your lies, and come crawling to me
On your knees when ready to atone.