Lines are drawn across pitted skin,
She pulls her claws in, tying ribbon.
Mouth sewn tight so I can't speak,
I slide my wrists upon the sink.
My feelings are transparent;
This pain endured is like heaven.
She tells me that I deserve it,
And so I make another slit.

Life is being ****** out of me.
I can feel it as my lungs become
too heavy for me to hold and
my heart gets slower and slower.
My mouth turns to a dry cave,
A desolate place which my stomach hates.
No warmth can coax my fingers
To curl around any little mug.
They’ve lost all hope of ever
being so cosy again as I keep
Walking down this endless street.
Though my steps are getting
Slower and slower and slower.
Every largening crack in my spine
Tingle when I lay on a hard surface.
I wonder why I do this to myself.
Then I remember and force a
smile so ****** convincing that I
unknowingly manipulate myself.
I breathe in as to stop the dizzy spell,
the light goes dimmed, i stumble.
"Are you okay?" They seem to ask.
I will be okay. I’m always okay.
But the seconds it takes to get back
on my feet are getting slower
and slower and slower.

For seventeen birthdays,
fake tears in the bedroom.
Soaked pillows covered by
Scented candles in the living room.
Emotional piano over sounds
little girls shouldn’t have to hear.

For seventeen birthdays,
secret crying showers.
Leftover cake, feeling sorry.
bathroom blood, guilty of a crime.
writing slam poems about mum,
right under her nose.

For seventeen birthdays,
Sweet money. Lies to keep quiet.
Cracks in gulps of *****,
wall punches, hospital trips.
Homeless over a holding hand.
Hopeless. Looking for a mother.

Did you hear it?
That soft whisper.
A brush through of hair,
Hands on your shoulder.

Did you see it?
Those deep grey eyes,
Searching for you.
Lonely, desperate,
And they seem to be lost.

Did you find it?
Your English book,
These words are more important
Than the ones I try to say.
My breath shortens.

Did you realise it?
That I am here, I exist.
Probably not.
So I guess I’ll just go.

Bejewelled in time and space, surrounded by stars
That have sprinkled the sky with questions and reasoning.

Sitting on the moon trying to remember things
And recollect memories that have dissolved into alien dust.

Eyes as wide as the universe and ears as open as the sea
But if we have a conversation, I'm sorry if I don't take it in.

And if the words fly over my head like meteors,
don’t tell me my corrupted spaceship is too lost in your wavelength.

The aqua lines are troubling, burning lasers that zap my
entire kingdom to tiny particles. It’s a supernova of forgetfulness, don’t you remember?

Wandering aimlessly across the core of the earth,
I feel like a drunken chemical gas,
Spinning around on gravity drugs,
Joining hands with life from another dimension.

Floating around, I'm the human form of Pluto.
A planet too small and insignificant to be seen or heard of.

happy girlfriend day
to beige coloured pages,
kept smooth and delicate;
like fingers turning light switches
so nobody else can see your elegance.

happy girlfriend day
to pale, bruising knees in the sun,
noticing how the symmetric lines
are the only ones who smile
when we are in silence and the romance is done.

happy girlfriend day
to the ones who can't hold a tune
but sweet talk their way through a poem on stage.
hugging our final goodbyes at the end of June,
dedicate your first book to me, think of us in every page.

happy girlfriend day
to twenty eight years of loving;
only tracing the skin that shines,
not the part of that is secretly longing,
I’ll never get to call you mine.

You were an unlocated island
Inhabited within palm trees aligned
To cast the hazy dreams I see today
When I think about when I didn't know you.
The travellers who sailed across the roseate desert
Never thought to discover what was glowing
Like tangerine torches to lead me back into the light.
When I was given the map,
The luminosity was so defying
to how I wanted to love you,
That I wrapped myself in lurid shadows
As if they were velvety serapes
Because I was so fond of the midnight dusk.

You longed for a taste of another species
While I clung to the jungle vines that replicate my own.
Euphoric lava bottled up inside of me,
I couldn't tell you how your twisted words
Made my brain fizz like it was filled with lemonade.
As if the romantic poetry was seaweed
That you tied around every corner of the boat
I needed to pull me towards the shore
Like peonies groping their arms across my land
To steal whatever skin I had left to give.
I longed for you to unwrap the reef
And touch each and every fruit I grew for you.
But you'd already destroyed our rainforest
When your lips got tangled in someone else's mouth.
Though, I still want to go to the island.