My alarm clock goes off almost every morning
but this morning seems different
I wake up and there are already tears in my eyes
This alarm clock is a reminder that the heaviness in my chest will only grow
I hit snooze and start to wonder if I should even get up if I'll only end up sinking
What do you do on the days when you wake up and feel like the world is against you
When you feel like there's a snow covered mountain behind you waiting for your lowest moment to send the rapid downward rush of new problems and things you have to deal with?
My avalanche always hits me when I think nothing else could go wrong
Maybe it's because I like to stack up my problems behind me instead of dealing with them; they were bound to fall eventually.
I like to pretend that I'm strong, but this feeble body can't hold the facade for much longer
The anxiety is starting to lurk around inside of me, looking for reasons to shatter my ribcage
It's tag teaming with depression which is already tugging at my aorta,
On most days I'm surviving
But on days like this I hope the downpour crushes me
My chest cavity seems to have already collapsed anyways, the tears became so heavy that my lungs stopped fighting for air
In the back of my mind I hear a faint beeping, my dreams interpret this as a time bomb, a swift count down to my inevitable demise, but I am not running out of time. I keep thinking I'm battling this clock but I'm only battling myself.
My eyes swiftly open, I hit snooze. I sit up and exhale the thoughts of myself, inhaling  the responsibilities of my day. Today, I'm going to survive.

You cannot tell me
That what I feel is purely..
in my head

Not whenever my heart pounds
Not whenever my hands shake
not whenever my chest aches

You cannot tell me
That what I feel is..
ridiculous

Because I know that this is real
Both to my brain
*and to my body

when 2 birds standing on
2 different high tension wires kiss
love is short.

You wanted me to tattoo your name on my back.
"but who would see?" I asked.
"you just don't get," you screamed,
"you don't ever get it."
and you smashed a glass
on the worn rug.

It was a velvet rug
with a picture of elvis
painted across it
meant to be hung on the wall
and when the wind
parted the curtains
the shards sparkled like stars.

They say the human heart
weighs 3/4's of a pound
and scientists have found
in a tomb in Egypt
the heart of Cleopatra
shriveled like leather.
bitterness
can preserve a heart for eternity....

....but it's closing time at the bar
and outside in the cold, cold snow
outside in the snow
my darling
one last time
I'll **** your name.

it
journeys
through
space and time
when
yellow bolts of lightning
purge
the
purple clouds

lord
on our way
to
the stars
we met
a tin man
who
needed
a heart
and
life
abounds
throughout
the universe

to many classic , pop rock , songs
while I work away re-building
a wall or roof , it makes the day go faster,
I hammer while singing at the top of my lungs,
songs such as this ( I hate it when they change the lyrics without
informing me though):
Baking Carrot Biscuits by BTO;
Wipe in the Vaseline by the Eagles;
or my favorite Comfortably Dumb by Pink Floyd.
I only sing off key when the band forgets the lyrics
or I smash my thumb with my hammer
or the cute neighbor girl I am bare-chested trying to impress
calls the cops, or the owner wanting me to go away
with the job half finished pays me for the day.