Home is not a proper place
has no address, no fixed abode

It may not lay along a certain path
or at the end of any road

For each of us its different
what makes it so we cannot see

For myself I know that I'm not there
whenever you are not with me

My home exists within your hand
when it is wrapped in mine

When our bodies come together
a warm embrace, legs intertwined

Geographically speaking
home can be here, it can be there

but there is no place' feels more like home
than the pillow that we share.

I remember paper lanterns with small red candles floating down the river
but I don't remember the festival or in who's honour they were lit.
I remember roadside shrines and little envelopes of money, not proper
money but a special kind who's name I don't remember either.
I remember the big pagoda but couldn't tell you where it was.
I remember so much about those years but there's so much I forgot.
I remember warm rain and warm puddles that we jumped in with flip flops on.
I remember the little guy on the motobike and sidecar that used to come
round selling soda and taking caps for prizes and the bubble stuff in a
tube.
I remember the paper pucks with feathers in that the local kids would
play with like hacky sacks.
I remember the smell on incense in the temples
I remember the markets. The sights, the smells, the sounds of so many
things never seen or heard or smelt before or since.
I remember Hong Kong
And I'm sure its changed since I was 5 but I want to go back and see
just how much.

Sometimes in the night
when I’m alone and cannot sleep
I picture you and I
but it’s a thing I cannot keep

For its not yet a memory
but a waking dream of mine
a fantasy of someday
just waiting for a sign

A sign that says you see it too
that into your dreams I creep
a dream of which you dare not speak
a secret sworn to keep

If thats the case then hear me now
speak up, do not be scared
It's better to have loved and lost
than thought nobody cared.

Each rooms a little dimmer now,
each sky a bit more grey.
The sun shines not as brightly,
there's less laughter in each day.

The hours seem somehow longer
with each minute comes the pain
If I could have just one more day with you
to see your face again…

Into this world you brought me
taught me right from wrong
Your laughter was my music
your love, that musics song

I assumed you'd always be there
to share my joy and ease my pain
its hard to know I'll never
see you or hear your voice again

The sunshine of my every day
has now been replaced by cloud
but I know that you're still up there Mum
I'll do my best to do you proud

Am I someones "one that got away"?
Do I keep them awake at night,
with regrets that thing's weren't different,
that they'd not given up the fight?

Is there someone there that thinks of me,
on those damp depressing days,
that makes them smile out the window,
chasing their blahs away?

Do they search for me on Facebook,
have they Googled me at all?
Do they see me here with nothing,
or do they think I have it all?

I guess for sure I'll never know,
if they don't or if they do.
Kinda makes you wonder though,
does someone do that for you?

Is this my midlife crisis,
my “what’s it all about?”
Everything that once were certain
is now vague and filled with doubt

The friends I thought I’d have forever
one by one have stepped aside
I’ve lost my grip on oh so many things
despite how hard I’ve tried

The urge to run away, escape,
grows stronger every day.
Am I unique in my frustrations,
or do others feel this way?

The things around me, they mean nothing,
most of the people, less than that.
These four walls around me are not home
it’s just the place I hang my hat.

When I consider my life’s purpose
there’s really nothing I can say
It's enough to do to figure out
the purpose of this day.

Did you ever once foresee,
there would be a day,
when we'd be just a memory
when our time gone away?

Our path was not an easy one,
there were mountains that we climbed,
but the level road had just begun,
those trials now lay behind.

But something changed along the way.
We let the fire go out,
and as your life you rearranged,
certain love gave way to doubt.

And so chose to take your leave,
and cast all things aside,
convincing those along the way,
while forsaking truth for pride.

So now alone by candlelight,
many years having passed,
you dream of how it might have been,
had you found the strength to ask.

In dreams we meet most every night,
though strangers in the day.
At twilight lovers we become,
at dawn we drift away.

I know your body perfectly,
each wrinkle, line and scar.
And yet I do not know at all,
if you are near or far.

But doubt I not that you are real,
for what you say to me,
reflects my very souls desire,
and hold you the only key.

If by some fate we ever meet,
I will not pass you by.
For in my dreams so clear I see,
what lies behind those eyes.

Perhaps tomorrow on the street,
or across a crowded train.
Our eyes will meet by pure chance,
that spark I'll see again.

And when that moment comes to pass,
as I am sure it will.
Will you notice that its me my love,
and will your heart be still.

For do you dream the same as me,
while each night in bed you lay.
Of someone who completes your life,
from dusk til dawn's new day.

Hand in hand we walk the beach,
as the sun sets on the sea.
Who would have dreamed,
those years ago that this is where we'd be.

I knew your face and knew you smile,
'fore I ever heard your voice.
But once we knew without a doubt,
then you could make your choice.

From passing friends we quickly grew,
to become each others air.
Without whom we would suffocate,
without which we would despair.

And then one day I heard your voice,
calling down the phone.
Telling me you'd made your choice,
that we were free to be alone.

My heart leapt and inside I wept,
not from sadness but from joy.
For now we could at last be one,
The girl could meet the boy.

Everything we talked about,
finally came true.
Its like we'd been this way before,
like we already knew.

Now hand in hand we walk the beach,
as the sun sets on the sea.
In all my years there's never been,
a place I'd rather be.

What is this thing called love of which you speak,
A fleeting dream of hope so many seek,
A look, a touch, a passion tasted,
Bereft of which heart is wasted.

Take me to that place you hold,
closed off deep inside.
Where dreams of love and gentleness and reality collide
Where openly you live in hope,
but dare not dream it true.
For that is where your future lays,
a life with me and you.

I would share with you each flake that falls,
and every inch of snow.
I would share with you the scenery,
of everywhere I go.

I would share with you each raindrop,
that falls upon my head.
I would share with you the pillows,
that lay upon my bed.

I would share with you my every wish,
my dreams and every prayer.
I would share with you my here and now,
to be with you, right there.

I long for the first days of spring
for winter time to end
In icy snow and frigid cold
to sadness I descend

I long for spring and daffodils
no more this frozen land
that you and I may walk the hills
together, hand in hand

I long for spring and waterfalls
the coming of new life
that I may go on bended knee
And ask you to be my wife

Then I’ll long for spring and summer too
for winter and for fall
That I may spend each day with you
and learn to love them all

Share with me your dreams my love,
and my promise to you.
Is to be there by your side,
and see they all come true.

Share with me a wish my love,
of how your life should be.
And I will promise you my love,
that it will come to be.

Share with me your heart my love,
a gift so great and true.
And I will hold you close to mine,
in everything I do.

Share with me your life my love,
from first breath unto last.
And we will live in dream’s my love,
until all nights have passed.

Be strong for I am with you,
in everything you do.
When exhaustion you doth overtake,
I'm here to pull you through.

When insecurity abounds,
and you are filled with doubt.
Be strong for I am with you,
together we will out.

And when hard choices you must face,
not alone you make your stand.
For I am right beside you,
and your hand is in my hand

And late at night whilst in your bed,
you feel so safe from harm.
It is 'cause I am with you,
and you lay within my arms

Nothing less than everything,
is what i give to you.
Everything I am is yours,
and everything I do.

What are the chances we should meet,
and find our hearts share a single beat?
That to look in your eyes would reveal a soul,
that has what mine lacks and makes me whole?

What are the chances, can you tell me this,
that our love may one day be sealed with a kiss?
That despite starting off so far far away,
our lives grow entwined each and every day?

What are the chances together we might,
emerge from the darkness and into the light?
That one day I'll awake with you by my side,
and our love for each other need no longer hide?

Where are you now my Valentine,
When I need you the most,
Will you come see me once more,
Or vanish like a ghost.

Are you there my Valentine,
Were you ever real
Did I ever hold you close,
Or just dream the way I feel.

I hope and pray, my Valentine,
You wait somewhere for me,
Just out of sight,
And out of reach,
This day to set me free.

Its ***** to be deep,
be honest, be true.
It ***** to be me,
and stuck on you.

It ***** not because,
how you made me feel.
It ***** just because,
to me it was real.

It ***** that you lied,
and made me believe,
that you and I could,
together be free.

It ***** not because,
of the man in your life,
or that you sleep apart,
no longer his wife.

It just ***** because,
for the very last time,
I trusted you with,
this heart that was mine.

How do you make me feel so good,
whenever things are bad?
How do you always make me smile,
even when I am sad?

How do you say so much to me,
without making a sound?
How do you feel so close to me,
even when not around?

How does your voice lift me so high,
even when I feel blue?
How did I ever get this far,
without these gifts from you?

Its 2.37am Monday morn,
and I lie here and watch you sleep.
Wondering if you smile because,
into your dreams I did creep?

Beneath your lids your eyes do dart,
to the left and then to the right.
And I wonder if morning, you will recall,
the adventures we had this night?

Take my hand and walk with me,
along lifes winding path.
Together we will learn of life,
we'll love and cry and laugh.

Take my hand walk with me,
around the rivers bend.
And I will keep you in my heart,
for you are my best friend.

Take my hand just one more time,
squeeze tight don't let it go.
This journey is the last for me,
but I must pass alone.

Lay down my hands across my chest,
for its time to say goodbye.
But we'll hold hands once more my friend,
upon the other side.

The lightest touch,
A whispered glance,
Each time you take my hand.

A gentle squeeze,
will stay with me,
while I'm in foreign lands.

Side by side,
I walk with you,
although we are apart.

Your hand will always be in mine,
As you are,
in my heart.

To seek the truth, look in my eyes,
for like my lips they hold no lies.
Within the depths you there will see,
the truth of what you mean to me.

I wake up early, watch you sleep,
an angel wrapped in dreams so deep.
No worries rest upon your face,
your body draped in silk and lace.

And as I wonder the vision you are,
you start to stretch and twists and stir.
With gentle smile and eyes now wide,
you slide your body to my side.

You pull me close and kiss my lips,
the passion felt betrayed by hips.
As lovers we do start to sway,
and so begins a perfect day.

Show me the smile thats only for me,
not the one you give away.
The one that comes right from your heart,
not the one that you show every day.

Not one when your lips turn up,
at the edges that looks just so.
But the one that touches my very soul,
in a way only you could know.

And not the one that almost a blush,
when wickedness crosses your mind,
or the grin from within, when you feel for real,
some guilt for the humour you find.

No the one I want is more than a smile,
for it says more than words ever can
Like the feeling I get, when I reach out for you
and take your hand in my hand.

I hold your pictures in my hand,
as if they were life itself.
Some torn, some bent, some broken glass,
where I swept them off the shelf.

But now that anger it has passed,
and tears they fill my eyes.
I know you never meant to go.
I too am dead, inside.

Why could we not have had more time,
together you and I?
Before your sickness came along,
and took you from my side.

You fought so hard to stay with me,
and smiled through the pain.
So beautiful and brave you were,
sunshine amongst the rain.

Always I will remember,
and treasure what we had.
The mem'ry of our time together,
makes me happy, makes me glad.

I wish that I could follow you,
but here for now must stay.
To tell our baby of her mom,
and why she went away.

And tears come now not just to me,
as Rachael starts to cry.
I will kiss and hold her close for you,
goodbye my love, goodbye.

If someone tells you they like you
but you don't like them back the same way
how do you let them down gently
what are the words you should say

Do you shoulder the blame for the way that you feel
Do you tell them its you and not them
Do you tell thm they are just moving too fast
that their feelings for you are too prem

Or is it like pulling a plaster
just a swift yank and then it is done
it'll hurt like hell for a minute
but at least they weren't shot with a gun

And maybe I'm making a mountain
from a molehill that doesn't exist
maybe they want to take back what they said
now wouldn't that be a twist

Perhaps they are struggling to tell you
that you're not who they thought you were
that maybe they were a tad hasty
that their words were a mite premature

It seems that whenever I set out
to do the right thing I am cursed
to hurt those whos feelings I sought to protect
to end up making things worse

So forgive me if I have ever
caused you pain or caused you distress
it was only ever my intention
to do what I thought was best

And now as this play draws to an end
and reaches the final act
time will tell if we managed
to get out with our friendship intact.

Today I found our tree
in a field by the road
I hadn’t been this way before
just got diverted cos it snowed

Its trunk is old and twisted
with its branches stretched out wide
and as snow falls all around it
neath its canopy I hide

I never pictured it in winter
always in summer, maybe fall
you and I would sit beneath
answering the poets call

We’d write about each other
sharing emotions from our past
a play performed by strangers
an imaginary cast

But as this winter storm embraces
a foot of snow falls maybe two
the only that’s missing here
my dearest love is you.

This is no Haiku.
It just looks like it might be.
But looks can deceive.

This is no Senryu
because its just one sentence
broken into three

The thing I most look forward to, is looking back with you
how we did the things we talk about, and of the things we’re gonna do

Remembering a time, when goodnight turned off different lights
and spending time together, meant wasting time on flights

When the years we’ve spent together, are more than those we spent apart
when the best years of our lives are now, and not just about to start

When this poem's a  distant memory, just a record of the past
of how we found our soul mates, finally, at last.

You tell me bout this guy you know
that's gentle kind and true
That has given you new life
banished all that made you blue

You tell me that he's handsome
that you love the way he smiles
That he's touched your very soul
bridged a gap of many miles

You tell me that you think of him
from time to time throughout the day
That you're filled with a such a yearning
wishing he wasn't far away.

And when you tell me of your plan
to surprise him with a trip
I feel that old familiar pain
of a heart about to rip

You're gonna just get on a plane
and turn up at his door
to see the look upon his face
and watch his jaw drop to the floor

Are you really that insensitive
thoughtless, even blind
To boast about some other guy
while leaving me behind

Perhaps I should have spoken up
and told you how I feel
Maybe then you'd skip the fantasy
and stick with something real

But your probably there already
I should have said all this before
and told you I'm in love with you...
One second, someones at the door...

There’s a funeral across the road today.

Despite the freezing temperatures and impending storm, the car park is full. Friends and family fill the church to say a last goodbye to their lost loved one. At the end, the church bells toll, mournfully. The honour guard of veterans file out and line up behind the hearse, saluting as the casket is brought out.

It never ceases to make me think how that little wooden box is smaller than you would expect it to be. It never seems big enough.

I always look at the coffins and think, “I’m sure he was taller than that.”

But the real discrepancy is not in the stature of the man compared to the size of the coffin, but of the life of the one being carried within it.

Does it really come down to this?

One man’s lifetime of love and adventures, more than most judging by the honour guard, the average age and the number of mourners. Does it all it come down to wooden box that seems too small?

But then I realise something I hadn’t thought of until I sat down to write this.

The measure of this man, the measure of his life, isn’t to be found within that box or even reflected by its size. His life can be measured by those that came to say goodbye. By the sorrow on their faces for the loss of their friend. By the honour guard, standing proud and straight and stronger than their years, to escort their comrade from this world to the next.

And as the snow begins to fall, I can’t help but think, who will be there to measure my life for all to see?

Will I ever be that someone
that keeps your sleepless soul awake
Will I ever be the longing
that leaves your heart sure it will break
Will I ever be the vision
seen when at night you close your eyes
Will I ever be the passion
unquenched betrayed in distant sighs
Will I ever be the one true love
that you regret casting aside
Will I ever know the truth
of every tear you ever cried
Will I ever be the one mistake
not repeated do you vow
Will I ever hear you tell me
how you feel about me right now

Its not about the presents, the money spent, the choice
its about the thought behind it, so listen to your inner voice

Will you buy her something sensible, or something with a cord
Will you shop within your budget, or spend more than you can afford

Or will you pay attention, to the commercials on TV
and think if she had one of those, how happy she would be

Well I hate to break this to you, because all of those are wrong
You cannot buy true happiness, ignore the jingle and the song

The truth is that she loves you, and wants you to love her back
and the perfect gift will show her, that you do exactly that

It may be something trivial, simple, without flash or flares
it may be something made by hand, but the hand of one with cares

For every coin you would have spent, use an hour of your time
and create something magical, not at the end of any line.

So from every Christmas on, a treasure she will find
beneath the tree on Christmas Day, and her heart to yours will bind.

Look at all the things you "hate"
did you really have no choice?
Or could it be what you despise
is your own lack of voice?

Our lives are ours to shape and mould
into anything we please
but to merely be a passenger
brings us surely to our knees

We hate the way that this turned out
Or we hate the things we did
So choose a different path next time
stop pouting like a kid

Not everything in life goes well
or turns out how we planned
but all the thing that go astray
carry lessons in their hand

So no more talk hate for you
its just a lesson yet unlearned
next time make a different choice
and walk across the coals unburned

It doesn't matter who you are, where you live or what you do
Because this Christmas wish is for everyone, and especially for you

It matters not what you call your god, who you worship, where, or when
Because until you tell me otherwise, you start off as my friend.

So I wish you all the greatest things, that you wish for yourself
Love and peace and happiness, prosperity and health


Merry Christmas everyone

I feel the lights are dimming
as the show comes to an end
Unsure of just what happens next
whats around the coming bend

Could it be that all there is
is all thats gone before
where is the happy ever after
of which the preacher was so sure

And with the doubt come winter chills
the warmth of life too ebbs away
As I close my eyes on christmas eve
to pass alone on christmas day

Do not be afraid my love
or see the future as uncertain
Step out of the shadows
Turn on the lights, pull back the curtain

And you will see that what we share
is solid, real and strong
There is no need for doubts at all
there is nothing here thats wrong

For you and I were meant to be
of that I have no doubt
reach out your hand and join me
let us no longer be without

To live this life and never know
would be a tragic beyond sad
I beg you not to just become
the greatest love I never had

Once upon a time
I gave a piece of me to you
which you treasured for a while
then traded in for something new

But the pieces I had left
could not rebuild the loss
I was somehow incomplete
left alone to face the cost

And as time marched slowly on
the wounds became all healed
until I met somebody new
loves painful truth once more revealed

So now I face a choice in life
what to do with what is left
do I lock the door and lose the key
'fore I am totally bereft?

But even if "the one" shows up
is there any way to know
if she can put the pieces back
and will the missing ones regrow

Too many questions I now face
but answers I have none
So I guard the pieces carefully
hiding from the sun