Is it ok if I wait?
Because I know you’d never ask.
You don’t feel you have the right
to subject me to that task

But the choices that I face
are to simply give up hope
and forget the love of days gone by
right before you cut the rope

Or life can go on as it is
simply waiting for day
when again we are together
and nothings in the way

I’ve never known serenity
like I did when by your side
The peace and pure tranquility
of a heart that’s open wide

I know you felt the same way too
before life got in the way
That’s why I’ll ask, if I can wait
forever and a day

Its the little things that mean so much
The whispered dreams, the slightest touch

Catching the smile you tried to hide
Being met at the door, arms open wide

Feeling your hand reach for mine
not having to read between the lines

Brushing the hair back from your eyes
watching comets cross the skies

Picking you up whenever you're down
using a kiss to cure a frown

Knowing it matters and knowing you care
Waking each morning and feeling you there

Its the little things and what they mean
that make this life we share a dream.

A poem should be read aloud
whether to one’s self or to a crowd

It’s meaning lies in being heard
and not the shape of every word

Lest it become calligraphy
hung on the wall for all to see

But poems seen do seldom touch
when compared to one read out as such

For intonation, pace and rhyme
are all heard within the poets mind

As pen commits the words to page
the actors banished from the stage

To reappear when words meet sound
and raise the poem from the ground

To sail on high with majesty
extolling sorrow, mirth or glee

Bring forth emotions penned in ink
and take the reader to the brink

To place you there midst poems tale
for to spectate means poets fail

So stand up son and stand up proud
whilst you read these lines out loud

Feel the smile upon your face
or seen on others your voice did grace

For had you kept this to yourself
might just as well have stayed on the shelf

But bringing voice to wiser words
allows its message to be heard

A message know by self or crowd
that poems should be read aloud

On the couch beneath a blanket
is how I'll spend this day
Wrapped up in distant memories
keeping grief and guilt at bay

The blanket's from the picnic,
the one we never had.
And the memories we never made,
'fore time ran out and this went bad.

But its how I spend my weekends,
draped in dreams of yesteryears.
Finding comfort in what-might-have-beens,
helps hold back all the tears.

One day I will get over this
come to terms with what I've lost
balance grief with life ahead
find acceptance of the cost

And when I'm ready I'll start over
with the lesson widows get taught
to seize each day in every way
because life really is too short.

I cry alone because thats who I am
thats what my life is
alone

I cry alone because there's nobody here to hold me
to tell me its all gonna be ok
because it isnt

I cry alone because when the tears do come
when they do bust the dam
its a downpour

I cry alone because it scares me
it scares me that I may not stop
It scared me so much that I tried so hard for so long not to.

I cry alone

but at least now I've started.

Today I went to my control panel and I uninstalled Love.

Thats right, I clicked add/remove programs, I clicked Love, I clicked uninstall.

But you know how it works, it didn't all get removed. Some "user files" got left behind and I'm supposed to remove them myself but I can't find where they're kept. I can find "the day you met me at the airport" with nooooo problem whatsoever. But I can't get rid of it because I don't know where its kept. So it haunts me. Same goes for "the closet" and "the mirror". Instant recollection. That used to be huge, that used to remind me that it was real and not just some dream I'd had.

But now its torture.

I though if I uninstalled Love then it would take all that with it and it would stop hurting.

But it didn't

and it hasn't

I should have uninstalled Love years ago when it wasn't being used and it just sat there doing nothing. It wasn't taking up any resources, it wasn't interfering with anything or slowing things down.

But then you came along.

And it sprung into action. Suddenly it consumed everything, it was running all the time and sure it slowed things down a little and sure some stuff didn't get done but it felt good. It felt so good. Every day felt like the first day of Spring and every night was spent dreaming of lying in your arms and it felt great.

But then the network crashed

the connection got broken

and while Love kept running it started to cause problems, its ground everything to a halt. It became like one of those viruses that just slowly chips away at your resources over time until you got nothing left.

After a few months and numerous attempts to get the connection back I finally admitted defeat and accepted things were over. And it hurt so much, too much.

So now I have no use for Love. Sure its nice when it runs ok but it crashes, every time it crashes. And I dont need that kind of hurt again.

So its gone.

Removed.

Uninstalled.

All I gotta do now is remove the fragments left behind.

And I'm pretty sure if I install enough Johnnie Walker I can flush those right out.