flicking past overdone poems
on burnt topic of broken hearts,
these tear-sodden sonnets,
make me a little grateful
my heart is underwhelmed.

in a squiggly
hole

in a silly
wood

in a spock inventor
planet

in a spiffingly spotty
universe

there lived a
space alien

...his name was Bob
and he liked haloumi


...he liked observing
humans
serving haloumi
on a plate
with crackers
in their sooty restaurant

under the sparkly stars




...
one day he changed his name to Greg

I am not anything you say I am.
Simply because you say I am.

Some words frighten me,
Shouldn’t be used for me,
Don’t involve me.

They are things I will always search for in others,
Things I find so easily in others.
                                         Not in myself.
They do not exist.
Though maybe I wish they did.
I am small,
protected and
                             unprotected.
Build up so many walls,
So many towers.

These towers come with guards.
These guards,
expert marksmen.
Half the time I feel lost and confused,
Searching for meaning and understanding….
                                                                                          Not searching at all.
Things just get more confusing,
Things pile on before others get resolved.

Always felt like I was doing what I was told.
Left home,
                     Found different.
                               Grew.

Now I must go back.
Take time off, but really turn time on.
This is not something meant to affect other people,
Though I’m telling myself it will.
This is something absolutely for me.

So maybe these guards, towers, walls will be removed,
Maybe I’ll find meaning, understanding, direction..
Maybe I’ll see in myself those things seen so easily in others.
Those things I’ve been told…
And so quickly, readily, easily
                                                                                                                                                Denied.
I want to find them.

So I will go where ever this search takes me
And I hope some of you tag along.
But just because you’re not, doesn’t mean I’m not
Going.

Inside of this dark place
There's no room, no space
I live alone awaiting tomorrow
Alone with my sorrow

Beside these walls I am caged
There's spilt ink on my life's blank page
The tears burn as they sear my cheeks
Why does pain only feed on the weak?

The ashes of my burnt heart lay on the floor
My heart will beat nevermore
The empty inside I feel
A pain that becomes so real

Overtaking my bones they stage my smile
I remain its puppet for a while
I am trapped inside crying
I am alone inside dying

The words on the page help ease the sting
Though the words won't change a thing
There's a hole where it's missing
So deep I feel nothing can fill

I rest captive between these walls
Break them down make them fall
Save your breath you won't breath long
As your thoughts are turned wrong

Madness in your eyes
And pain in your lies
You're so trapped
Inside

Live, love, day to day
Dreams come, never fade
Wishes seem to say
I will find you soon

Hereon and herein
Never gone, never been
Devout to find you in
Silver hued, shining moon

Each touch thus wished for
Loving you all the more
Toujours rechercher l'amour
Jusqu'à ce qu'un bonjour, comment allez-vous

It's beautiful
The way you ignore me
Or rather
The way you turn away
And it breaks my heart
But you're still beautiful that way