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Three days to a week.
Twice a month or skip a month.
Day Two and I hurt.
I think that
if she's
what you're into
then you should go ahead
and **** her
and love her
and keep her
as happy as you'd once
made me,
you don't need to stay any longer.
you haven't made me happy
in as long as we had said
we'd stay together,
*forever.
even if it's our forever
I want to sit on his lap
and while he's pinned beneath my heavy legs
locked within my gaze-
I want to ask him why I'm not good enough for him.
I'm just seeking out the truth,
the best way
I can.
meh
 Feb 2014 Zephyr Blofeld
Marigold
surrounded by busy people
i sip at wine from a plastic cup
as my slow life creeps on.
satisfaction hasn't shown his head
in quite a long time,
much too long,
far too long.
i don't remember when i last saw him.
i last saw his face 36 hours ago
stubble grazed my cheek
and his sweat stuck him to my skin.
I wish i could feel
and love
and be settled.
only empty sentences fill me up,
but surely i'm close to reaching the brim.
 Feb 2014 Zephyr Blofeld
Natasha
Brave little woman,
                                                  petrified she'll never fit in
perhaps it's her unique perception of the world,

                              or the colour of her skin.

But do not keep it all within,
                                      
                  ­                                      for the tears staining your rosy cheeks
prove you not fragile nor weak.

You are, my dear
                                                               the essence of Picasso's landscape,
                                

                                 now splattered with violence, corruption & strife

But darling have hope,                           

                                   there is far too much chromatism on this earth

                     to bathe our minds in black & white.
 Feb 2014 Zephyr Blofeld
Natasha
So long I've been without you, my dear.
How I've missed you,

Lend an ear,
I've yearned for your vampiristic images engraved on my skin
Blades each and everyone I named,
leaving signatures in soaked red sin.

We've suffered through one hell of a night,
he's planting ideas in my head
But you must know by now,
I don't cut because I wish I were dead.

Manic Depression, Bipolar, whatever
essentially, being the way I am
brings me to awful places sometimes
the numbness swallows me like quicksand.

Now my bed littered with disassembled razor heads
I dragged the tip across my left hip
silly me, I should have guessed
the scars there are just too thick,
not a single line appears before my eyes
not even the feeling of a pins *****.

Thank god, I'm ambidextrous
my right side will do the trick.

Porcelain, unscathed, soft, dewy flesh.
Oh, my.
This is temptation at her best.
My epidermis gives way as she sinks herself in half an inch
delicious, irresistible seductress.  

Please, take a gander
this art is some of my most true
For when I am done my ****** masterpiece
the crimson craters read "I Love You".
Last night was rough... Told you I loved you, now you can see for yourself. ****, and I was almost a year clean.
We are our worst enemies
We can be so harsh on ourselves
We are to selfish and self absorbed and
Worried about the future that we forget to
Live in the moment

We let others cut us out at the knees
We see the blade coming, but we don't
Make a move to stop it
Some people go through these timesand if

You havent already, dont worry
Your time is coming
Life is an ongoing battle and I fear the
Casualties are stacking up and up

Soon the pile while break out into
The outer hemisphere
We focus too much on the negative in life and
We loose our path and forget to live

Don't forget that the past is the past
You cannot forget it, but time fades the
Scars that will never fully fade away
You just learn from and find a way to move on

I am my own worst enemy and
I hate myself more than anyone else
But my scars are fading
And now it't time to let go
I know, a lot of "we"'s, haha. But that is the point. I am tired and writing this, not a good idea...
The doctor says it will help,
So you take a pill.
Sixteen years down the line,
You're still taking the pill.

You're not sure what's the medicine and what's you.
You feel as if you're living a lie,
So you set the pills aside.

Then, your head spins 'round
You don't know up from down.
Your stomach does gymnastics
While you stay groggy and weak.
By the third day, you can hardly speak,
And you cry at the drop of a hat.
A hightened sensitivity, lessened awareness--
Everything is a blur,
Clouded by emotion, anxiety, and fear.
No one told me I would end up here.

So I take a pill
The doctor says it will help...
And maybe one day it will.
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