I wish i could show I actually love you
But in every way, i could never
Because my meaning of everything is different from yours
I wanna love you but you wont let me
I tried to tell you everyday
That i love you in every possible way
You just don’t see it
You are truly the light in my darkness.
Because even while you’re at work, you make time for me.
No matter what i can see you love me
Ive just hurt you too much

i’m broken and i know it
there’s things i should have kept inside
but i let myself be vulnerable with you
you gave up on us and me
then turned around and told me i’m amazing
you numbed me when you were around me
i’m a different person when i get home
it reflects through texts
i’ve told you about so much and you just couldn’t add it up
i hurt you and now it feels like you’re hurting me
i’m more hurt at the fact that you gave me up on me
you did fix me the way you wanted to
you got somewhere but then gave up
that’s where you messed up
i loved you endlessly and you just couldn’t even return the favor
i told you i loved you everyday
i loved every moment with you and everything you gave me

When you start dating someone, they become your all
And give you some kind of motivation
You become happy that this person is in your life
And you are willing to give anything to love this person
But once it becomes known that you have to keep your relationship secret,
Everything becomes worse
Because suddenly you feel like they aren’t happy to make it known that you belong to that person and love them
And that’s all i ever wanted from a person
Suddenly I’m feeling my mind shut down and think of the worst
I told my best friend that i need alone time
But that’s just me isolating myself from the world
And that is the worst thing i can do right now
In the end, i cant cry or cut because it will bring more harm than good
I just wanted to be loved in the right way

It’s been a while since I’ve done something that made me happy
Writing these poems or whatever you wanna call them
Helps me release my feelings and a little weight off my shoulders
They are my way of journaling and hold some of my secrets
I bring people into my life not knowing if they are gonna benefit me or hurt me
You don’t know who your true friends are until you’re in need of help
You don’t see their true colors in the beginning
There’s nothing i can possibly do to keep many great friends
But also sometimes i need space
That’s how i met my ex boyfriend and knew i was gonna fall in love with him
He listened to me and tried to understand what was going on in my life and mind
I have so much emotional scars from the emotional abuse in my past

I make decisions for myself and yes they may not be good. They will benefit me in some way. Ive decided to leave my mom’s side of my family at a distance for now. I want to continue succeeding but I always let my mind take over. And it brings me no good.

You make me forget about everything I worry about
And you are always making me the happiest i can be
Every time i look up at you
I cant help but smile at you
Because I couldn’t imagine a better person holding me
And kissing me
You make my life so better
I wanna be in your arms right now
But i have to wait until the 27th
And when i see you babe i gonna kiss you like I haven’t seen you in months
Cause that’s how i feel
Who would of thought I’d get you?
You talk about wedding rings
And make me feel more beautiful than ever