I remember
When I had dreams
When I believed in magyck

Sometimes
I still blow off flower pedals
And makes wishes

Many days
I sit and stare at the sky
And believe in the magyck there

But then I return
To the real world and the now
And I realize that reality has no place for it

Sometimes
I find it hard to believe
That we could choose to stay together always
And we could make it happen

Perhaps, I have allowed myself to believe
In Fate too much
Maybe I have given too much control
To Destiny

I'll burn down my yesterday
Drown in the ashes

I'll cut my past to pieces
Choke on the shreds

I'll choose to love my today
And be devoted to my tomorrow

My flesh
Why must you forsake me
You give away
My deepest, blackest secrets

My voice
Why must you portray me
You tremble
And give away my hiding emotions

My love
Why must you obey me
You follow
My heart, and you deny my mind

Dear Lust,
Sweet, sweet seduction
Why do I deny you?

You've always been my friend
Always understood me
Lust, You were there when no one else was

Dear Temptation,
If only I could find it in myself
To separate the grey

All I want is to give in
All I need is to feel the happiness you offer
But still I pull away

My better judgment still tortures me
Ah, sweet seduction
Soon enough, I will say yes to you, My Dear

Dropping my third can on the floor
I can't even stand anymore
My heart races and my pulse pounds
Fear grips me in its icy embrace
Why can't I stop?
All self control, I have lost
Will to move on, I have none
I wipe the drops off my chin
Then I crack open another can
Put it to my mouth and tip it up
Downing it all, I just can't stop
thud thud thud
My heart almost bursts through my chest
My vision blurs
My words won't come
I feel my body **** as I cave in on myself
Four cans down, Two to go
If I'll survive, soon we'll know

Don't look into my eyes
Please don't read my soul

You'll see things you don't want to see
You'll know things you don't want to know

Don't look into my thoughts
Please don't read between the lines

You'll see my darkest secrets
You'll learn my most disturbed characteristics

Don't get to know me
Please don't try to find the truth

You'll find my flaws
And You'll stop loving me

Kiss me
Please take me away from this pain
Turn back
Stay with me and help me breathe
Be mine
Save me from my own horrid life
I beg of you, Save me

I want to trace the full length of your tattoos
But I don't want to let his smooth skin go

I yearn to taste your lips upon my own
But I couldn't bare to part my body from his

I ache to breathe your breath, and feel your heaving chest
But I'd die if I let go of his hand, and accepted another man

I need to allow you to overtake me
But I must resist your deathly allure

I beg to press against your sensitivities
But I would lose myself if I left his

I'll fall to pieces if I can't wear you
But I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him

Every one of us
Has broken down at one point

Baby, let me hold you one last time
Give me this chance to call you mine
I know you won't miss me
But I'll always yearn for you here

Baby, let me love you one last time
Give me this chance to trace your tattoos
I know you don't care for my innocence
But I gave it to you anyway

Dear, allow me to feel your skin
Let our bodies move once more with grace
I'll open myself to you once again
I'll entertain your wondering hand

Dear, allow me to wear your lust
Let our movements synchronize as we sigh
I'll release this tension within
I'll caress your face as you enter in

I remember all those times
When you told me you were right
When I was tortured by your lies

I recall the many days
That heart was in a blaze
That your words lit a flame

But now you may feel
How easy it is to fail
How simple is the ****

Life hanging in the balance
Sanity hanging by a thread
I'll take my scissors
And cut that thread
Watch my reality crash
For a peaceful life, I never asked

I refuse.
I refuse to sleep
I refuse to give in to the darkness
I refuse to see the nightmares
I refuse to let them take me
I refuse.

What if I were to ask you to be my infinity?
My always?
Would that be too much?
Would you say yes?
What if I were to ask you to be my future?
My success?
What if?

Let my lust overtake me
Let my sins forsake me
Let my anger erode me
Let my joy escape me

May this void replace me
May this addiction erase me
May this trust evade me
May this truth awaken me

I'll give in to the battle
I'll surrender my weapons
I'll open the floodgates
I'll learn these lessons

I love the way your scent lingers
On my skin
And on my clothes

I love the way your taste
Intoxicates me
And heals me

I love the way your skin
Feels on mine
And warms me

I love they way
You breathe
You live
And you think
I love you

No matter how hard I try
I won't ever forget you
I'll never let you go
I gave you my heart
You ripped it apart
You couldn't care less
I have honestly tried to release you
I've tried to forget
But you were my first love
My first truth
My first devotion
You cheated me
You ruined me
You traded me in for something newer
Someone better
And though I have found another
My own someone better
I'll still keep you within my mind
And you'll still haunt my heart

You think I'll be like you
You believe that I'll fall like you did
Well, You're wrong
I'll never be you
I'll never waste myself as you have

All those times you thought you helped
You were wrong
I clean up after you
I do damage control
You're only in my way

Threaten my sanity
Rip my skin
Do what you please
I wont give in

The bullets don't scare me
Your words won't mar me
Yes, I'm terrified
But I won't leave yet

Tests like these must be passed
I've lived through worse
I can't be broken
And I'll be back

I'm addicted to the thrill
The pain, I can deal
Adrenaline is my drug
I'm a ******, I'm a ****

Let me be who I am
Stab my pleasure but let me breathe
Your blade is soft, quite welcoming
The blood, I've seen

I've tasted the end
I've created Armageddon
Chaos is practically my name
Fear is my life

I am prepared for this fight
Psychotically ready for the abuse
If I lose, All is well
I live for the roulette

I hate to burst your bubble of perfection
I'm sorry to break your confidence and self-righteousness
But it stops here, it all ends now

Do not speak to me of reputation
Do not try to tell me of your morals
Do not preach to me of your faith

While I watch you judge them because of their skin
You judge them because they dare to express themselves
You **** them because they love those who are the same

Normal? You should be ashamed.
Average? Never shall I let myself be the word.
You? You disgust me.

A broken home
A shattered family
A drifting soul
I'm lost in the journey

The shifting
The changing
The non-balance
I'm focused on the solution

My answer
My resolution
My damnation
I'm just waiting on Fate