What was it that they said was so important?

They said
     That I had a choice
     That it was all up to me
     That, to them,
     I was the beauty queen
     and they were my kings

They told me
     To use my voice
     To never be deceived
     To never listen
          To all those people who treated me less than I deserved
          To all those people who thought they were better than I was
          To all my inner demons
          To those who gave me nothing but the worst

They told me
     Honey, I know you're good
     To me, you're *better that the best
     Everything you are speaks perfect
     You speak innocence
     Something so surprisingly rare
     An aberrant everyone wants to consume
          as food for their tainted souls
    
     And I will be there
     When you come home beaten
     By whatever monster you've faced
  
     I will be there

But then they said
    You've got to pick this and that
     exactly those two and in exactly that order
     No questions, you just have to
     Some decisions in your life
     are just not made by you
     And, Honey, you can't ***** this up
     This is important and it's going to help you
    In the near future

Naturally, I got confused
Who can actually be trusted with words?
Which part of this generation
Do we get
Where we can actually
get to speak for ourselves?

They said high school was a home of learning
Oh I learned alright
They said it would construct my future
All it did was destroy me with the past
They said it would be safe
They have no defense over the demons
They said it would develop me as a person
But I remain who I was... only shattered

They said so many things, yet understood so little

This goes to the pillow-clutchers
to the broken who carry soaked and salty handkerchiefs
to the flesh that thrive for streaks of red dripping out
to the souls that are constantly bombarded by screeches of lies
Lies that overrun every beauty in and out
Lies that lead to masochistic actions
Waiting for the second heartbeat after every punch
Hoping this would free the monsters trapped within
This goes to the insecure
No, we are not emo
How can one contain our being in just three letters?
We are not superficial pain lovers
We are violated, dispirited, downhearted, beaten, unsettled, splintered, forgotten
But we will never be merely emo

A high school is not filled with students
It is filled with labels, rumors, divisions and fake personas
filled with eyes that look straight into your soul
filled with whispers that spread like a virus
Getting worse and worse after every ear it has jumped into
Savages looking for the flaw that can destroy you
Until you break and mindlessly follow their example

High school is where you lose who you are
And be who everyone else wants you to be

Everyone thought I was just being vain
Always staring at the mirror, trying to be cute
Never did it come into their minds that I was already believing the lies
ready to accept the rumors
using FINE as my own maxim
**** I'm Never Enough
But I waited
Waited for someone to drive out the beasts
to heal my scars
to fill my emptiness
Yet until now I remain drenched in loneliness and fear

High school is worse than hell
A quick and small crack in your soul hurts more
Than an eternal burn of your flesh
This is why we're ready to see the light come out of our eyes
But I'm holding on
For you need pain before you're declared strong
For you need darkness before you see the stars
For you need death before you reach heaven
For where there are angels,
*there will always be demons

I'm realistic
I see that there's really no hope
Yet
I'm still that girl full of faith
Waiting for the day that my dreams
     become *reality