You were my sunshine on a rainy day
But you loved rain
And still till this day
I'm not so sure why
Maybe it's because when you woke up it still was a little dark outside
And you could sleep for another half an hour
Maybe it's because you would always try and find the sun
Because you knew it was out there somewhere
You were always a little more curious then others
You knew that there was always a way
You didn't like so much when people corrected you
Or,
Tell you no,
When something didn't exactly go as planned
You always wanted to make the best out of it and wanted to be that type of person in every situation.
But you weren't
And you tried so hard to have that peaceful mindset
But It just didn't work
And maybe that's why you liked rainy days so much
Those kinda days where it rains the night before and is carried out through the whole afternoon and back into the night
It never stops to rest
And I guess neither did you
You never cared so much if you got wet outside
You didn't need an umbrella
"The rain is gods free shower"
You used to say
Everybody would laugh and call you crazy
And some days you were a little crazy
You didn't mind though
You liked the attention
Maybe that's why you liked rain
It's pitter patter that hits the roads and makes you listen a little closer
Like an old folk tale told by an old soul
Thunder and lighting scares away the little ones
But ****
Sure does make a good rainbow
That was you I think
How you would have your times of  frustration when you thought nobody could fix it or no one understood
You settled down though
Then found some good in the bad
Found your rainbow
And maybe that's why you liked the rain

First thing when I rise

Devine beautiful mastermind
Badass twisted reckless *******
Chivalrous charismatic being
Grass inhaled and exhaled-
exhibition of your minds greatest works on the biggest ***** of their bodies

Trusted and tender
Passionate pitter of his vocals trickle into my ear
Zoning into his eyes
Dark and soulful
Locked in and uncontrollable involuntary hands move swiftly across colored skin

Secrets swivel through the air
So sell me your sweetest memories
Tell me your worst
I’ll prepare

Aligning our aliens
Parallel parking in the third eye
Dismember her heart
Reassemble the right way
Getting their fix off one another  

Rough rendezvous
Right place
Right time
Tattoos intertwine
Awakening between the sheets of her mind

Reciprocating the rawness of his past times
Renegades seeking retribution

Last thing when I fall

I haven't thought of you in awhile,
But I saw you today,
My eyes met yours,
My heart stopped,
And I didn't know what to say,
All of the feelings came back,
A rush to my brain,
I couldn't move because I was hooked on you,
I didn't want this to be round four,
So I finally ran for my door,
Breathing heavy,
I couldn't wait till I saw your face again...

We were seedlings,
I was planted on purpose,
He was planted by mistake,
But that didn't matter,
We knew each other's story.

We grew strong when our mothers cried,
We grew tall when our fathers yelled,
Young seedlings trying to fight our way through the dirt,
Weaving our way to life.

Our family trees related to one another,
Understood and were friends,
We were in the root of happiness,
The root to our happiness.

Roots eventually intertwined,
Underground secrets,
Slowly pulling me down,
Climbing up my limbs,
Wrapping his branches around my trunk.

Struggling for air,
Missing the taste of water,
Hoping to grow bigger and stronger then you.

His words like sap sticking to my brain,
You got to close,
Destroying the only thing I knew how to do,
The very thing we had taught our selves,
To grow tall and strong from the pain.

Uprooting everything good in my life,
Our family trees,
Now enemies,
Silence
Nothing but rustles of leafs.

And now having to move on and hoping one day,
The wind will pick me up,
Take me to a place of serenity,
Where I can begin again,
And grow stronger then you will ever be.

"Get seven plates"
"Seven knifes ,spoons and forks"
"And Seven napkins and placemats"

Setting the dinner table was an awful request,
but now I take it as a gift...
For the number of plates are less, and less every time that I'm asked

The glasses aren't being used as much,
It seems like we are using the same three glasses every time
And the drinks In it are all the same
except for the ones that are sitting in the cabinet,
There already filled with the memories that happened at the dinner table,
seven years ago, When I was asked...

"Get seven plates"
"Seven knifes,spoons and forks"
"And Seven napkins and placemats"

She is a mirror, reflecting people's words and actions back on them.
She is a jacket, warming people's thoughts when they need help or advice.
She is an ice cube, she can be cold, but she can melt too.
She is a tree, people or things can alter the way she grows.
She is a thunderstorm, you either like her or don't.
She is a parachute, saving people when they seem to be falling.
She is the red traffic light across town, people usually listen to her,
but when they don't,
there might be consequences later.
She is a wall, because she's always there when you need someone to lean on

"Shhhhhh"
They all seem to say as the night goes on
"Shhhhh"
I can hear them pray their mumbling is getting in the way
"Shhhhh"
I say "you'll miss it"
"Be quiet"
Listen to the pin needles hit the tin roof
Listen to the wind gusts fight against each other
It's proof
They want to be heard,
Listen to the flashing that wants to be heard
It screams with its light
No one seems to be listening
There talking
There praying
There not listening
"Shhhh"
Close your eyes and listen to the train that goes by in the distance, it's far away horn
Listen to the loud thunder rumbling through the dark skies
Listen to the crackling sound it makes when you pay attention
"Shhh"
Listen
Can you hear me
You can only see my cry for help but your not
Listening
Hear me I'm screaming I'm loud and I need you to
Listen
I'm here
I am the Lightning that cries at night I am that bright flashing streak at night I light up the sky with my cries and you won't listen your not listening
HEAR ME

Just sit in seldom,
No one will ask questions,
No one has to know,
They won't care,
They never seem to do...

Just sit in seldom,
It's better that way,
A million thoughts playing ring around the rosy in your head,
They all drop and fall,
A migraine takes the games place,

Just sit in seldom,
Pretend to be focused,
Pretend to know what's happening,
Nod and agree,
That's the best way to fake being, "ok"

Beginning at the top
You are the slinky
Meticulously moving down the edges of my heart
Hypnotized by your rhythm
Ring after ring gathering at your core
To just repeat the past over and over again
Until it all stops
And everyone can finally look away

I can see the blank paper,
The unfilled lines on the sheet,
I can hear your words that I’m supposed to be writing down,
But I can’t raise my hand high enough to get the words on the paper.
The paper feels rough today,
I can taste the words I want to say but I’m holding them back,
Staying quiet and not saying a word.
Stay quiet and they won’t talk,
Stay quiet and they won’t know,
Stay quiet so they can’t hear you scream.

I want to hear the lighting
I want to see the thunder
I feel as if I'm deaf and blind when a storm comes around
The lighting blinds me so I cannot see the thunder
The thunder is so loud it makes my ear drum bust so I cannot hear the Lightning  
It's a battle between the two
They both want to win
But know both will loose
Because the rain always wins
But somehow they both think they have a chance
But no
The rain you can see and hear
It doesn't want to fight because it knows its strength
The rain always wins
And always will

She told a story
A story to herself
And eventually to her friends
They were worried
But she wasn't

She told a story
No one else believed her
But she did

She told a story
She was a mistake
She was a broken mistake
They told her that she was lurking for attention
But she wasn't

She told a story
She loved the words I'm sorry
They would almost fumble out of her mouth every time she spoke

She told a story
Disappoint she thought she was
The word Perfect never once touched her lips

She told a story
Everyone didn't believe her
Then they found her

A beautiful disaster
Tangled in thick rope
Wrists and thighs covered in raised darkened skin
Tear marks stained the floor

She told a story
That no one will here again
They only had one chance to listen
But all turned away
She was a fallen angel
Now flying back up...

Me
You
Dock
Nine o'clock
Orange skies
Sun going down
We were sunset silhouettes
You looked in my eyes
And I looked in yours
They were locked
I couldn't look away and neither could you
We were sunset silhouettes
The sky was now jet black and the stars were so bright
We both fell back on to the prickly grass
And watched them shine
It was like we never saw stars before
We were sunset silhouettes
A shooting star soar through the sky
We were both amazed
Both us and our sunset silhouettes

My job was to watch over you like a hawk,
Eyeing up what your next move will be,
Telling you from right and wrong,
Restricting your bad ideas
Making every choice for you but making it seem like it was yours,

No one else wanted to take care of you,
No one could,
Take care of you...
They saw to many problems,
They didn't want to help you because it would take to long,
But I had time,
I had all of the time in the world,
China's time and California's time, Alaskans time and your time,

It was a gonna be a tough road ahead,
But I was ready,
With you by my side,
I held your hand,
And told you that everything is gonna be alright,
Not knowing what was ahead,
But hoping that everything would play out like I planned.

Empty my bank account
My wallet
My life
Break my car
My heart
My finger
My arm
Slash my tires
Pop my lip open
Do it I dare you
You already did it once
What’s one more time
Just one more time
Do it
See what will come
I’m ready
She was not
She was never ready
SHE DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS YOU *******

and honey why?!
WHY?!
Why do you keep crawling back
I wish I could stop you,
Put you in a safe haven and take care of you
Take you away from all this *******
He doesn’t love you
He loves the thought of you
The thought of hurting you
He’s obsessed
Why won’t you call the police?
Why won’t you let us help you?
You need us
And we’re here,
just call me
Tell me you’re ok
Tell me you’re not with him
Tell me you’ll go home and lock the door
Tell me

Slowly slipping away from the reality that they all seem to portray,
Day dreaming is how we get away,
but we never forget that nightmares are dreams too.

We live In a world where the prescribed medication that the doctor gives you,
Doesn't work.
And the dreams of the children turn to nightmares,
They want to believe and see heaven but all they seem to see is hell,

The parents are gone and no one seems to care,
They're left to fend for themselves,
They are so young and already know how to fake a smile...

Now there grown and caring for there own,
But they're terrified but of course don't show it,
Because then there kids will know it.

We are the beautiful disasters that the old tell as a tale to there young,
But we lived it and it's true,
We were the silent minds that slowly drifted away from reality.

She dyes her hair red so she doesn't have to slice through reality to see blood, but simply a flick of her head she'll see what she seeks in her moment of pain.

She dyes her hair red not because she likes the color, but because she is bored with her life and wants a change.  

She dyes her hair red And,
people tell her it matches the deep blue ocean in her eyes that will drown anything that comes across them,
The darkest of the seas,
The things that lie underneath the oceans that people have not yet discovered,
Her, No one knows how far or how deep she is in her own little tragedy or what lies beneath her red artificial dyed hair but,
They compliment her anyway....

He was the last person I loved,

6 months went by and things started to change,

Twisted words and no more kisses,

Biting my tongue trying not to scream,

I loved him,

I left him.

Dancing alone now in the moonlight,

With out you by my side,

I lay here in unconsciousness awaiting,

for my prince to arrive,

The clocks are ticking and there's not much time,

My world turned upside down,

I loved him,

I left him.

Told me you moved on,

A lie for the time being,

End of the school year went by,

Told me,

you still loved me,

How it never changed,

How I was forced to move on,

I loved him,

I left him.

This is to the under achievers,
To the wanna-be weight losers
Who aren't seeing results,
This is to the kids with drunken dads who only drink ***,
To the people who only received as little as bread crumbs.

This is to the children with hush quiet moms,
This is to the ones who lay in bed and
Stare at the ceiling praying for sleep,
But there is no God when you spell it dog,
Barking in your neighborhood at midnight.

There are other people like you,
Other people who know where you stand,
This is to the people who can't stand,
You, so you tell them to sit.

To the people who are always sitting,
And the people who told you to stand up for yourself,
And those selfish girls who told you to "sit down".
Those boys who told you to shut up,

This-This is for the ones who fought but didn’t win,
The battle you went into with only your fists,
While everyone else seemed to have bigger weapons.

This is to the children who cannot read,
But can read lips of their loved ones,
This is to the left hand writers who aren't writing,
"Right", this is to unrequited lovers,
Or the ones who speak "I love yous"
And don’t hear it back.

This is to the none swimmers,
For the foreign talkers who all go swimming,
Because we all sound the same underwater.

To the people who  can't  find their purpose,
To the ones who took a long walk off of a short pier,
This is to the ones who don't know how to tell a lie,
But they shake their  hips,
Because hips don't lie.

This one,
This one is for the non-believers,
To the ones who count by twos,
When there is only one piece of the cake left,
And to the ones who think everything is a piece of cake.

To the ones who wanna be like King Midas,
Who wished everything was gold,
So,
Stay gold pony boy,
It's a long road ahead of you,
And many manholes to fall into,
But don't fall in,
You'll-you'll be fine.

Promises are never promising
Truths always seem to turn to lies
Funerals are for the living
And in the morning when I woke, it was really night

You are a photographer, your flash is extremely bright, people use to tell you to turn it off, but you wouldn't listen so they stopped speaking. You don't come around that much anymore so people either gather around in excitement or hide under there covers in fear. Your pictures are close to being rare.

You are the co-existent crowd, your clapping, roaring and cheering is often misleading. You are invisible but if you weren't I wonder what you would look like.

You are the muted out firecrackers your repetitiveness is calming over time. You make some people have the urge to run outside and  dance.

I want to go to a special place,
where the water is sparkling from the sun so hot,
where the sand is warm and soft in between your toes,
where the grass is very tall swaying in the wind,
where the breeze is warm blowing through your hair,
where the seagulls soar across the sky,
where the bluebirds sing there special song,
where the deer prance in the woods,
where the driftwood floats up to the shoreline and back again
where is there silence, quiet, a place of serenity?
when will my special place come to greet me?
when will the world stop and take it all in?
When will the bluebirds sing?
When will the gulls fly across the sky?
When will the deer prance in the woods?
When...

I went to go get a physical the other day
My doctor asked me a bunch of questions per usual
How many ****** partners have you had?
I answered
And they all treated you right?
Never hurt you or made you do something you didn’t wanna do?
Lying through my teeth “yea of course”

I wish my mother knew what happened

He left junior year and now he’s back,
I dont feel safe in school anymore,
I told her that seeing a glimpse of his face scared me and made me nervous,
I wanted to hide,

My ex,
That’s what my mom thinks he is anyway, only an ex
But he’s much more

It took a lot of time to realize.
I thought because we were dating it was fine,
But I knew in the back of my head,
I never wanted to do it
I wish my mother knew how numb I feel inside
He took something from me and I can’t get it back

I wish my mother knew he ***** me

I wish I knew what he did to me earlier,
When someone gets *****, the body responds to it the only way it knows how,
Naturally,
It messes with your psychological state of mind
It fools our brain thinking it wasn’t ****, it was simply something else

It tricks us into thinking we wanted it...

I miss the way he says my name
The way he holds me
The way he kisses me
The way he whispers in my ear
The way he smiles back at me
I miss the way we used to say I love you
I miss us
I miss you
I miss me when I'm with you

I’ve come to realize I might be more sensitive than what I portray, but I guess that’s okay

Adolescent *******,
you were an accomplished one,
you left me abandoned and apparently I was a *****,
I was beaten and bruised because of your backstabbing, blabber mouth,
you didn't wear a caution sign.
You were cold and careless, you had a concrete heart,
I was damaged and you were dangerous.
I felt dead as a door nail while you were doubting my ability,
elaborating your evil words filling my empty heart and soul.
I was failing to live up to your expectations.
To you I was a filthy, flawed, female,
my heart was flimsy
and I apparently had false information about what was going on
and I was fortunate to have you in my life.
Waiting for you to get to your grave because what you did to me was grim and gruesome
and not once did you ever feel guilty for the haunting, half hearted stuff you did to me. you were heartless and hateful.
you had no hazard sign on you and so I was helpless trying to hide from your humiliating words but I was so hopeful that things could change,
but that was idiotic and impractical and I was imagining all these things.
You had a jagged heart,
you told me I was a jackpot but I was too juvenile to think that I wasn't,
maybe you were jealous and I was just full of joy.
I saw this Kaleidoscope of new colors, thinking maybe you were kindhearted, likable, but all of these loving things were limited and weren't long-term.
you weren't loyal but I knew this was a majestic thing only a magician could pull off.
your masculinity was marvelous,
almost motherly, and I was misguided and mortified,
for what was about to happen again is noteworthy.
I thought you were so nice
I was obedient to your commands,
oblivious to what was happening,
I was trying to be optimistic, open-minded to good thoughts
but the past ,periodically came up and I smelled her perfume on you,
it was pointless this pain kept occurring,
when was it going to be peaceful,
I thought everything was perfect.
still seeing if I qualify for your questionable test,
I was queasy because you were always quick to respond as I became quiet,
so now I was the reckless one in this rare love affair.
was it really reasonable to have me go through all of this
and during all this rough, Rotten and rigid love you never showed one sign of remorse.
I was suffering from your secondhand secrets,
you were selfish so I stood silent,
for this was several times a week and sleepless nights were scary and I shouldn't be surprised but I'm now safe and sane,
our love was tattered, tense and tough.
It was ugly, unacceptable and unhealthy,
you said you were unfinished but I was also useless.
it was unknown what was happening, unrealistic but when our house turned vacant after I was vulnerable because of your vain, vicious and violent words it was not visible but I was weak because of how your wicked, warped, whispering was saying how I  was worthless,
we were just in our youth and we were young.
I was zig zagging through our love, like a newly bought zipper. We
were the animals in the zoo without knowing...

If pictures say a thousand words
How come we can only come up with one or two

One mistake
Two nights
Three bottles of wine

Take her to tomorrow
For she can not stand another today
Yesterday's misery to took her far away
Take her to tomorrow
Please, I know she doesn't want to be there but, she needs to be
Take her to tomorrow
Today's day wasn't like she planned
Yesterday was awful, she couldn't take it
Take her to tomorrow she needs a second chance
Don't let this happen
Let today be forgotten
Let yesterday be in the past and never be brought in to another tomorrow
Take her to tomorrow
Don't let her go today

Dear Sarah,
We met one brisk January night,
It was the,
16th, you looked beautiful,
in your,
white dress made up of,
Blankets, and your head wrapped in a yellow beanie,
That night I met you in that big room,
Curtains on the left and everyone there staring at you,
With you in my arms I was happy you were here.

Dear Sarah,
You were a terrible sleeper,
Babysitting you was a nightmare,
Just to make sure that you didn't have any,
I laid you down in your crib,
And when I tried to leave,
You screamed at me to come back,
I laid on the floor,
Next to your crib,
I did this until I thought you were asleep,
I creeped out of the room,
Trying not to make the hard wood creak,
under that green carpet,
Always failing the mission I heard your,
“Don't leave” in your small little voice,
Walking slowly backwards,
back into the room of sleepless nights,

Dear Sarah,
Do you remember how we use to,
turn our old,
bulky computer on and,
Listen to songs on YouTube with the,
Lyrics on the screen lighting up our faces,
Dancing in front of our picture window,
Acting like a mirror to the world,
Reflecting back what everyone thought of us, and yet,
We didn't care,
We danced our cares away,
You jammed out,
Went *******, and yet,
You were only two,

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry,
I made you grow up to fast,
I kicked your innocence out the door,
Kissed it goodbye and let it walk away,
To never return,
You were six when I started telling you things,
Made you keep secrets,
Had you tell lies to cover for me,
My actions made you an old soul,

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry,
It wasn't suppose to be like this,
Your nine and I miss your innocence,
I tried finding it,
Inviting it back into a tiny home,
But it left, its,
Long gone,
And Sarah,
I'm sorry.

Sarah
You wanted me to make you a poem
I asked you if you wanted it to rhyme
And you replied
"Whatever you think is best"

I stopped myself from arguing with you and making you have to decide
I need to stop myself more often from arguing with you
I've always had a hard time stopping
It really wasn't my thing
But this poem is about you not me
So I'll just continue with you

An eight year old little girl
Light brown hair and dark brown eyes
Huge eyebrows and a cute little smile
A little angel but not afraid to throw a punch
Can always make me laugh
Even when I don't want to
You are wise beyond your years and you have no clue

You are still so young and you have a lot to learn
This world is rough
And the road ahead is tough
But I know you'll pull through
Because that's what you always seem to do

You're a tough little girl who can deal with pain
But also has a soft side and will dance in the rain
You are my little sister and will forever be my main

And in case you didn't notice I wrote half in rhyme and half in not
So I hope you like this and if you come back later have a tater tot
Oh oops I'm sorry I forgot
You hate tater tots
I guess that makes me a felon
But make sure you come back and have a slice of some watermelon

Mr.Smola said that a poem is not a poem unless it ryhmes
Ahhh mr.smola
Do you really think that us poets Really have the time to just sit here and ryhme?
We have better things to do
Rather it's sit down and have a glass of wine or two
Maybe watch a tv show that is Devine
What about going to a bar and staring at someone who you think is quite fine
So mr.Smola is this clear to you
Am I getting this through
Or are you just looking up at the sky wondering why it's blue
A poem doesn't have to ryhme
Because obviously we just simply don't have that kind of time

you're a social studies teacher
Trying to teach English
Stop.
Like no just stop
Before I come over there and hurt you
K thanks

Fight, that's all you did was fight
Fight me
fight yourself
fight life
Fight to get through
Get through what
I tried to understand
I tried to help
I tried i did I really did
You pushed me away
I kept crawling back
And now It's to late

The ones who scream the loudest when born
Weren’t meant to be here
Scream in agony
Scream in pain
They didn’t choose to live
Didn’t choose to be here
But you
You put them here
On this earth to live
Because you thought they had a mission
A reason why they came here
But there is no mission
There is nothing on this earth,

And to who it may concern, blowing on dandelions does not make wishes come true
Just spreads the artificial flower around
Spreads the rumors
They’re all lies
No one has one path
We have millions
Up to us to choose
And we can’t go back
We made a choice
Not the best
But that’s why there’s more
Choose again

Traveling through the night,
I found my alter ego on the edge of hope,
It is usually best to speak the words of wisdom that we had taught our selves.
This is what we know, but never wish it upon our worst enemy;
To not care might make jump.

By midnight I fell back to the street and watched,
Listening to the winds made by fast moving cars.
The world lighting up by the tail lights and city street lamps.
She had almost gone up with the others
But I stopped, I stared and she was, okay...

****
*******
**** me
**** us
**** that tree
**** what the ******* ******* put me the **** through
**** the birds and the ******* bees
**** that ******* tree too
**** your ******* lame *** excuses
**** your ******* feelings
Because you didn't give a flying **** about mine
**** your ******* walks you ******* use to ******* take me the **** on
**** your ******* knife that you ******* used to carve our ******* names on
**** the lies
**** the truths
**** your secrets
*******
**** me
**** us
And **** that tree

Everybody wants to be loved but no one knows how to do it
broken hearts and tampered minds
I was lost and no one knew how to fix it,
how to reverse the spell
all I kept hearing
"What's broken can be mended but not completely healed"
And I tried to open my mouth to speak ,
but you closed it so you could talk right over me

Thick girls thighs,
Pretty girls smile,
In denial girls white lies,
"Bad ***" girls court trial.

Smart girls glasses,
Poor girls hand me downs,
Black girls *****,
Rich girls wedding gowns.

Wanna-be girls chameleon attitude,
Slutty girls mini skirt,
Anorexic girls hate for food,
Lost girls amber alert.

Cool girls break the law,
Drunk girls D.U.I,
Klutzy girls trip and fall,
Sad girls wanna fly.

Party girls heels,
Artsy girls love to draw,
Friend-zone girls feels,
Shopping girls love the mall.

Smoker girls pots' laced,
Indecisive girls choice,
Slim girls tiny waist,
Choir girls small voice.

You are a cat scratch on sunburn,

A turnt backwards fingernail from the carpet you ripped up
"When You Said No But All He Heard Was Yes",

You are a nightmare of which no one can wake up from,

You are a door slammed finger,

An open heart surgery,

No anesthetic,

A person struggling for air while they are forced head down under water,

Drowning,

FISH DO NOT DROWN!
THEY ONLY DROWN IF THERE IS NO OXYGEN IN THE WATER,
AND YOU,
ARE LEAVING ME WITHOUT ANY AIR TO BREATHE,

I AM SUFFOCATING IN MY OWN CONCOCTION THAT I MADE UP

AND I CANT GET MAD AT YOU BECAUSE I AM THE ONE THAT HIT ON YOU FIRST!

Hit On You
Not Hit
Hit Me

you're a nat flying into an eye and making it tear up

but you arnt crying?,
it's not tears of sadness,
tears because you just simply want it to be over

and once you do get the nat out, it still stings, still hurts

and at this point, you just gotta wait it out

You only text me when you want me
At first it was cute because I felt wanted
Like someone cared about me
But you don't care
You don't care at all
You could care less about me
You just wanted me for your own needs
And I was blinded from that

My eyes are now dry,
but thanks for caring when my eyes were wet and tears were running down my cheek,
down to my Collar bone making a pool of salt water in my indentations

My pillow has now dried up but thanks for "being there for me" when it was wet and makeup covered,
even when my mascara brand proved it to be
waterproof

She said that they don't make it out there
In the real world
They don't survive
I'm one of them
She was one of them
She was surprised that she made it
I wasn't because I knew her strength
She was scared for me
As I broke down I was a mess, and I still am
I couldn't talk about it
Because I knew my eyes would turn to rain clouds
And it was gonna be a big storm
But she seemed to understand
She saw my pain
And I let her
"We are not meant to survive in this world"
This world wasn't meant for people like you and me...

Pain,
It doesn't feel good,
It hurts,
But if the pain hurts us so much why do we keep letting it happen,
Scrolling through our exes pictures,
Watching sad movies,
Making ourselves cry,
Hurting ourselves,
For our own enjoyment,
We make pain for our selves to dissolve the other pains we have in life,
And why?
We'll never know,
Do we like the pain that we get,
Is that why we can't stop making it worse,
Pain is like a drug,
Once we have a little bit of it,
We can't stop ourselves from drowning ourselves in it,
Us, as human beings,
Are addicted,
To pain.

We take risks because we think "what are the chances of getting caught"
We know the consequences
But in the moment we go for it
We run across the field and hop over the bushes hiding from cops
The sirens in the distance fill us with excitement
Our adrenalin screaming in our brain
And the wind whispers in our ear "these are the chances you'll get caught"

What's the point of putting make up on if you're just gonna cry it off

What's the point of living if you're just gonna die

What's the point of getting out of bed when you're  just gonna get back in it

What's the point of believing
What's the point of trusting
What's the point of life
What's the point of hope

What's the point of lying when you know the truth will come out

What's the point of hiding when you know you're gonna be found

What's the point of talking when you're  just gonna be shut down

What's the point anymore

What's the point of breathing

What's the point of having a past?
So people can judge you from it,
so people can have stuff against you?
so people will leave you because of it.
But it wasn't your fault, it doesn't matter,

Nothing matters anymore

Two hands on the bars
Right hand leans too far back
Whiskey throttle
Adrenaline ****** hits the fence post
Wheelie by default
Error in the process
Whiskey throttle
Everything realigned
Restart
Reboot
Try again
Power off
Shut down
Switch user
Try again
Sorry no internet connection

Whiskey throttle
Lost control
Can’t contribute to the parade in the front yard
Take the cigarette out of your uncles fingers with dirt engraved under his nails
Light up
Inhale
Breathe out
Repeat
Exhale
Toss out
Whiskey throttle

Grass stained elbows
The most important part
Ligaments reattached
Reassembled
Ensemble of instruments clashing in your ear
But to the ones watching
All they hear is the motor and the birds
You can hear his menacing laugh
Like a unforgettable business deal
Reach arm
Shake hands
Hold tight
Place other hand on top
One more shake
Release
Shame
Mistake
Revenge
Whiskey throttle

I wanna be with you,
Next to you for all the ups and downs,
With you for all the hardships,
I wanna travel with you and visit all the towns,
Snapping pictures when you don't expect it,
I wanna be with you forever,
Everything we have ever done together, I won't ever regret it,
You,
Are the only person who has ever made me this happy,
You make this world we live in a better place,

You are my world,
My universe,
My everything,
And I couldn't go on without you,
When you say you love me, always and forever will I say that I love you too,
Because baby when I'm with you the feeling I get I never wanna lose,

I wanna be with you for the family vacations,
I wanna make our house pop with all the holiday decorations,
This relationship is the strongest mother ******* foundation!,
I can't put to words how much I love you and I never want you out of my life,
And If there's ever tension between us, I'll cut that ***** with a knife,

Kyle Joseph Magee,
You mean the absolute world to me,
You are all I ever wanted,
I was all locked up and you had the key,
I told you everything our first night out,
And I knew you were a keeper, there was no doubt,
I get lost in your eyes and I never wanna look about,
You hold me tight,
And I could stay in your arms all day and all night,

Your laugh and smile are the best things in this world,
Your voice is the most beautiful sound in my ear when you sing and when you talk,
You're the reason I get up in the morning,
The reason why I get ready,
The reason I don't go insane because I know you have my back,
There is no quality that my baby lacks,
Every second we spend together I never want it to end,

All of the time that we've been together has been all I have ever wished for,
And all I wish for now is our time together to be more and more

Tell me,
Is it a brick block
It it a wood block
Is it a fictional block
Yea i knew it
it's a brick block
My writers block has came back to me
It's only been a few months
He was holding up a house
Well a house made up of bricks of course
And not some fake house made up of great ideas
There's a hole where he has gone
He came back to me
I don't usually enjoy his visits
Unless I take him and make a poem about him
Then I like when he visits
But it's time for him to go on
It's hard persuading him out the door
He needs to go find another person to "help out"
Because Obviously
as you can see
he's already
helped me

You ever meet someone and think
I could love you
The easy to love type person
The type of person who knows you without really knowing you