Silence getting loud and I can barely hear,
Sinking behind the wheel and I can barely steer..
Drifting in and out of consciousness the guilt is here
The little kid in me is hiding under my beard..
He locked me out my heart, because Im tired of fighting the tears.
I can’t find the tears
I can’t shake this feeling
I can’t sleep right now
But I cover my head with these sheets
And the moon reminds me how dark it is
I can’t see ****
I made peace with the darkness
I made with peace with brightness of bright above my window.

Put your heart on your wrist,
I put my heart up on my wrist.
Six hundred for the gloss
One hundred for the gliss
Credit cards to the max
... man **** my ex.


I took A stroll by the park
it was cold and it was dark
I saw someone called but I missed it
Wish it was you but I’m trippin...

Sometimes I think you’re gunna text
I wish I had guide of getting over my ex
Cause ever sense you left I haven’t been the same since.

Blame it all on me i guess it only make sense...
Blame it all on me I guess it’s only right that you do..
But man I gave my all but here that’s not important
I gave you my all but man who cares anyway
And I’ll be the bad guy the villain
I’ll be the bad guy the villain
But if that’s what you feeling
The bad guy the villain
I guess I’m the bad guy the villain.

I know it was to good to be true
You’re pushing me away from you
Like they who’s name been crossed out
They all know I’m crossed out
I just didn’t know I have been .
I’m a has been
Tell me...  have you felt that feeling that you can’t speak for yourelf cause people already think that they know you..?
I sit here waiting to be understood
But you walking is totally understandable

im Mad, sad and can’t figure out  why I keep thinking bout you ...
Is  it the regret that’s eating me alive?
Or the silence of your solitude.
Is it the stinch of a relationship the died like 2 to 3 years ago?
Or this peanut butter sandwich that’s really not fulfilling me
It feels like I’ve been hit in the “testies”

I sold my soul when you told me I was in your dreams.
So I tried to fulfill your love with fantasies.
Imperfect being that was trying to be another angel..
Playing God is not easy when you have human angles..
You start to see that your loved one starts a new religion
Cause they think you’re not real to there vindication
Like right now you think I cheated with somebody else...
But that body was by me but it didn’t help.
To make it clear your perception was another step
And I already took a thousand when I walked out of hell
You threw me down and you threw away the ******* key
It’s kinda weird When you scream “Satan!” As my new name.

This is my shelter when I hide
All of my answers will arrive
Knock on the door please come inside
Cause I’ve been waiting so long for someone to lay by

take my sweater and my heart
Bring your sun where it’s dark
Tell me stories let me soak
If I’m sinking let me drown
Cause I’ve been waiting so dame long
For someone to truely love who I’ve become.

Saw my brother they put him on tv
Just another black man up on tv
Momma called and said
“why did they shoot him?!”
Now she walk threw the house like a loose end.
And I stare at a hole in the ceiling
Took 3 days and 3 lines now I’m peeling
Momma said she’ll be back but it’s been a month now.
It’s the silence that ate up her mind now
Since then I haven’t heard from her...
I’m still lock in this conscious thought with my brother.

Truth be told I hold my X and my O’s
Just to be honest sometimes I don’t even know
They love when I’m shirtless but they don’t want to be called some hoes.
So I cling to my purpose I keep moving like vroom

What do you want from me ?
Why do you talk to me
What do you know ?
I am  I’m not scared of you
I am inevitable

The biggest question I have to ask myself sometimes is why did I forgave you ?

So cold but I am colder now
So froze My heart is frozen now
Who knows where we go from here
I was on the edge but I find myself on different pier.
Asking where
Where do I go from here ?

I’m noticing my poems are coming to life
So what if I said I love you and you called months from now saying I still love you at the end of the night..
Could we meet back where we left off ?
I’m starting to feel like these poems are not poems there just real life about
Us

i Use to sneak threw the back door just to see his face
In the morning and his mom gone cause she hated how my people made mistakes
It was almost time for school and here we are getting lost in each other eyes in the bathroom
Trying not be so loud he held my mouth as I held his
At that moment I was enchanted how he looked down at my feet
I don’t know ...what I was thinking
Dirt on my shoes but I’m the one sinking
My smile turn to love just by him blinking
And then it happen
He said
“Nene (baby in Spanish ) I have to go to school, Go to my room..”
“Take your shoes off here”
And it dawned on me the whole way up stairs.
As he watched me ...

I’m dripping with love For him,
The problem is my skin
They don’t even know I’m here
They don’t even know who I am
If only I can show her we’re not all bad
If I only I can show his brother that I’m not his dad
And I as I reached the top and looked back
All these things became like sand
And too stay and not leave him even though I know..we know if the water comes non of this could stand ...
He gave me a smile and I gave him my hand
He walked up the stairs and we kissed and in my head ...
In this moment
Holding him tight
I looked deep in his eyes
And said
“ it is what it is “..

He looked back at me and said “huh”
Haha nada nene ir al colegio.

..right

The older I get the more I pray
The younger I was the more stupid I became.
See it starts with a twitch then you running from things
It floods in like water then ends in flames.
If the beginning was big then then it will end with bang
If I cut my wrist then I followed the Milky Way
But the sun is out so here come better days

Here comes winter again
Coding the streets in panic the leaf change colors to see that change is something happens to all
So in all this I am subject to fall,
The object to crawl
And the substance to grow into all things I hold on to and let go

I wish I was your favorite
I wish you showed me that you were looking forward to it,
The day I ran back to your arms and we act like the titanic
Sinking back into the exact thing we tried not to be
I wish you would see this
I wish you seen what he can do then watch me closer then the mind does my conscience.
I wish i could drive by your house again
And you were waiting and knew it was with me
All I need is a smile
Just to see if you’re good
All I need is a kiss
Just to see if you still wanted it
All I need...
I wish...
All I’m asking for is...
When you see me..
I’m that guy that you let go but can’t remember why you did it.

Colorful roads and transparent rain,
Never seen these roads I thought I knew
It’s like my mind wasn’t mine
Even I can’t focus
Even my eyes can’t fit the reason I never seen such beauty
I guess it would of been vain to run into you
I wish...

Tell me what you need
Tell me if it’s love
Or tell me if it’s lust
Feeling you is one
Loving you is something

I want us to be something...

I didn’t notice I wasn’t focus my eyes were closed to your secrets and potions
But don’t think I didn’t care
And I’m seeing clear

Here I am again
I said I won’t call you again..
But here I am

Okay it’s obvious,
The hills that I hop
The pills in this pocket
The bottles I bought
The urge is locked in
And I Shouldn’t even drive but **** it
And I Shouldn’t even cry but  **** it
Shouldn’t even want it but I want it
So I’m ...
Thumbin threw these bands
I bet I’ll make your phone stop ringing
I swear I won’t call you again
But here I am again

Content with the curtain that’s blocking the light
There’s no fear I’m numb at the end of the night
Hand full of money  dummies think that’s all that cares
How many times have I failed, tales of a good guy making the others prevail
Tipping the scale Loving is better then wealth
Cause I sit by myself waiting for someone to help
I profit Like coins and change like autumn to leaves
My mind is to think like blood in my veins is to deep
What I mean is ....I was broke when I was with you and you loved me
But when I had money you hated me and thought I changed.
I didn’t change and yet I’m stuck here alone in this bed
Putting curtains up but the light will prevail
So if you really love somebody then whatever they do you always will ...
I always have ...
Always will ..

Have you ever stared at something but was thinking another thing and whatever you were thinking didn’t match up to what you were starring at ?

Have you ever played with your thumb and your smartest thought became dumb cause you asked “ why do I need thumbs then picked up your drink and was like ...huh...oh hmm

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wanted to be a better  but you heard that you were a masterpiece cause you’re the only species that can speak.

My point is ...I’m not pointing
Well ... now I am cause I was thinking of something....
**looks at thumbs ..drinks and walks off stage

Friends with benefits is dumb
But what man you know would drop that
Me?!
You call me like a boyfriend but we’re not together so I have to pick your brain to see who I am today
I came to pick you up to see my friend but my friend wants to **** me
trust me when I saw the pattern and my head clicked I was like in slow motion “ oh ****” then drop the lunch meat.
and stared at the wrapper with the price saying 1.29
And was like “Is that what you value me?”

You could of got The premium pack where it comes in all three...
Love, *** and everything
I believe friends with benefits is Like a guy or girl going into the store with a basket full of the expensive stuff and looks at you the premium stuff and say nahh I want the great value in you

Do great things like greater
So thin like a paper
Cut in like a line
And stick to me like a staple
No one seen your ankles
No one knows you like me
Boys don’t suppose to cuddle
And yet our eyes are cables
Channeling things that are enabled
i knew she was for a show to the world when you told me you were with her ...
Her first name should be fable

I heard the rain today,
The soothing took my mind away
I just woke up ...thank you for giving it back today.

Here I lay gasping for words
When it’s all in your head you pick yourself apart just find out even though you are a Big Adult ..you still feel like sometimes like a letter that is lower case.
I’m in a lower place but my room hasn’t changed
I roll over to find thinking stains
My head won’t stop like a fossit and fossils of Dinosaurs and nephilims uhh what I’m saying is I’m getting Older and I still wrestle with these younger days

Teach me.. say you wanna come over you wanna come teach me.
Wanna put me in comma and you’re yelling things that isn’t easy
So you wanna come beat me..cause my ex was in the zone and his new bae feeling all types of ways.
I’m not even there and these days to send a text saying “hey, how’s life” that can send all type of waves.
I didn’t even know that you had what you had until he said something’s
But over all over all I’m trying to calm the storm within me before I send a tsunami wave
Cause all I said was “hey” just think if pulled up on your new bae with a cloud like he better bring his jacket cause if I wanted I can make it rain.

it’s been over 2 years and I still think about your face
The other told me no empathy he just wants his things
I have cried my tears so much my heart has swimming lessons today
You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know the pain
For 2 whole years it’s like someone has come and uproot me away
Just threw me away
Just made me wait
Every song I know
Every time I think
I tried to let this go
But it’s becoming to known
It’s becoming to fake
Some say let these things just go
I have no I have it won’t let me go ...
I need some saving grace

Like a petal that is pink, showing my colors today
Did you care when I was green and I was growing to place
Yes my roots is with me look at the mess that I made
In the dirt yes I grew, in this dirt I became.
Do you believe me when I tell you I don’t like to be shady
That don’t give me any type growth

as I lay dying of thirst
I think about your figure like a well known curse
From your face as It drips gold and your chest that holds that Stoney frozen heart
Who knows !
Who knows who you will be when the roaster crows
I hope you be mine again
I miss you even when you keep locked away in this unforgettable dungeon.

I tend to gaze at his look
I tend to gaze at his face
Like a song with a hook
He asked “are you ready to play?”
We were playing basketball but I was playing another game
His sweat was like scent
And his walk was like a trace
I know I shouldn’t look
But I watched him feeling so gay
I wonder if he ever realized that I was envious of The simplest things
Like how he dribbled the ball
And how he wanted to touch my chest and walked away saying
“ good game”

Fast life in the fast lane I got the fast car and the novacane cause it makes me sane kinda insane when I think to much when the cash came and the bodies drop and there faces dang I can’t sleep much I put it on my gang I really hated gangs but now I’m stuck in foreign chain with a foreign whip in a zeta trade most is tatted up but they come to **** me up and they love to aim aand they love to aim and I’m ashamed cause they love to aim and they love to aim and there’s so many bodies and now I’m stuck in the fast lane in a Zeta gang and love to **** but there acting tuff and they let me **** and they love to aim And I’m...
Scared ... of my own self and I laugh it off and the drugs are wearing off and there faces dang how many people I killed today

I am hanging  on by a thread
You don’t wanna know what I have did
You don’t wanna know what he did to me
Such innocence strip
So much I turn a blind to who “they” is
Such things I have done cause I never knew really what love was
I heard of boy in a crib that became a king by living for who he said
“The government will be on his shoulders”
And so I sit ...
Waiting ...
Resting ....
Soon he will call all of us to where he is
Soon they all will see what I have did
Soon they will see what you have done
There’s no where to run.
Son there's nothing new under the sun.

Honestly
Honestly I’m trying to stay focus
I forgot what we were just talking about
Honestly

So if you want something to hold on to gotta find it first ...but here I am.

Cause I’ve been laying under sunsets
Walking into my dreams
asking where are you friend!
dying in the silence
Watching carefully Oh yes I’ve been
Waiting for you to say YES!
Yes to me ..
say yes too me

Laying by the ocean as it dance now I can sea..
Use to cut my mountains cause I thought they knew my  peak.
And hearing flames they say “hotter”
“cause they hate what they can’t contain.”

To much love to be broken
To much cups not to drink
Kick off your shoes and join him
Cause tonight your loved by me.
Where ever you are

Shy shy shy shy shy
But it’s all mine all mine
Why oh Why oh why

This such foolery
You give me what I need
Time and attention please
Babe you please
But you right
Just for the night
Just when you’re down
I know I’m not your type

Break it into little pieces
My heart is in little pieces
I see yours as the Mona Lisa
Want my heart okay I’ll lease it.

Frabic on me Zara fitted
I bought it with the tears on it
because it’s tears season.

Follow me I’m crying cause the joke was needed,
I drunk it cause I ****** need it
We laughed so much until we started kissing
Cause it’s tear season
I went deeper cause it’s tear season
Wanted to cuff you but it’s not cuff season
I went to deep and now I’m ****** drinking
**** I forgot it was tear season cause everybody is ******* crying over ******* that there ex did ...

I am the one
That made you cry
I am him
That made you lie
You fantasied
You want my sky
You want my clouds
You want to fly
You took a pill
Then hop on a plane
To come and find
I am the rain I’ll make you reign.
You okie , I’m okay
Make a right , I’m alright.
Are you down to ride ?
Smell my scent and my life
You can but deny
I am him
I am him
The one you despise
The one you like.

I went to far off the deep end
But what’s deeper then a mans imagination
Tales, lies oh it’s all the same - thing
But when truth is despise you will believe
Any-thing
Anything like man loving you more then your own family
Anything like wearing your boyfriends hoodie Dosent give you approval that y’all will stay forever...

I count to ten a million times,
The end is near, you see the signs
They don’t know
They don’t know me
They don’t know
They don’t know we
Been here sense the beginning of time

Some call on me, some call on you
Their maybe Greek there maybe Jew
Some skies like green some skies are blue
But sins are dark let God be true
They don’t know
They don’t know me
Oh you know?
Oh you know me..?

So why you smile at Calvary?
It’s just a joke until you bleed..
Satan dragon Zeus and These
Hate what’s good but it’s all myth you see...
So who will tell the truth of these
But don’t you know?
Yes you know me..
I watch close and yet you don’t see me
Can you hear me ?

I know where you hide when the lights get low and the stars bow
We’re all at your feet now
We’re all yours now
Tweeting your thoughts and tasting your regrets ...why?
Why would he make a Angel wait?
How could he turn a tear to a lake ..
Such man with no power has this king kicking his crown as the past days penetrate..
But I ....I vowed to stay in a castle that’s on fire...
And if you we’re willing listen
In the darkest hour I speak
And “say I know I’ve been here before”
A love from a knight circles the city
A king needs royalty as his mom lives in such diversity...
I was kicked out but meet me on the moon
when the sun don’t shine but it’s never to soon
You will find a night ...patiently waiting for you.
Burn the castle and come meet me soon that will be the sign I will know and I will take you to a Sun that speaks to you...
Don’t wait to long but don’t be to soon.
As he calls me threw the moon

When you count who you count ?
You use to count on me babe
Now Numbers don’t lie to you babe.
I’m not tryna lie to you no more so...you look amazing
Sparkles on Gucci but Gucci not the point ..but you’re here..
I could care but I careless who came with you
Cause I’ve been tripping on this night like a sprain ankle..
And everyone should know... I didn’t come for no little Cesars ..
I came in to see the myth that broke my heart and cut my heart in pizza pieces..
Shine on me bro
Shine on my lows
Shine for your own
I hope he knows the reason why you shine now was because I cleansed you from the dirt...(smirks)
He doesn’t know
He thinks though..

My heart becomes a whisper
My hands becomes my life guards
Am I going to deep?
Should I retreat...me?
Retreat?
Softly moving the universe to your nakedness
Your eyes search my inmost being
Here you are to world you never seen
Vains pulsating maturity
Regretfully tasting your certainty
The only thing that stings the most was the day you told me you didn’t want nothing to do with me
..me?
But I’ve stuck closer then breath?
Why kick me out like ***** pet..
You know me ...and now months away I play the song we dance to
The scent of your chest is evident
The only thing I can think about
Is “I should of ****** you instead of having ***”.
Weird thing to think about but I should of gave it ruff
So I could wipe off what was left of your talking hips and seductive lips.
SHOULD OF NEVR GSVE YOU TRUST WHEN YOU ONLY WANTED ***,
Should .... kept my self but I don’t even know myself ...

You feel so sweet but it’s complicated
When you’re around its like I can fly
I think about you in desperation..
Now when I look up I only think one day I gotta die..

One day I gotta die

I waited for you today but you didn’t show
I needed you today but I walked alone
And now I feel the cold
Dancing on my skin
i notice that my home not a home
And my mother the one I cannot clone is against me
My father  that takes the side of his own feelings has wounded me
What if I do leave like you wish I wonder would check on me ?
Would come for me if I didn’t come back ?
Would I worry if. You don’t call ?
Idk

Stay up don’t look down you been down this road
Yes it’s lonely but you been lonely before
They say not to worry about money but even God told you to til the lad until you die
So this ...this is why this is good
When they ask you why you work so much
Just say what I would
“I Have to “

Among the men that have fallen
Among the angels that have lost there way
Before the beginning and before the sin that made you cast me away
Who was I to you ?
I use to love writing songs about what I thought I knew
Now living in a world of fallen men and angels that have let go
Again I am on my knees again my stomach feels the weight of  my doings
I haven’t went to church in over a year
and yet I hear you calling
And yet I feel you’re peace
But the night it draws me
Saying he’s real but you’re too drunk to go to the alter tonight ...so I sing

Holy holy holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is to come !
They laugh at me as they call me drunk..
I need saving
I need you
I need bathroom ...I feel like I’m bout to ...PUKE!

Lips so red kept me on read,
Skin so smooth so I tried to play it smooth,
Eyes like the ocean so I’m drowning in you
Y like why?
O like oops
U for you and you so fine
I’ll pay the ticket just be by your side.
Hi

They speak of a mutant that can control the trees
Hhmm sounds like fema
They speak of a Man that can jump from one city to the next in a second ...
Hhhmm sounds like iPhone 7 to me
They speak of hell is hot
But the meant that the sun is heaven
I’m not saying there lying I’m saying in my generation there twisting the truth
Like DNA STRANDS ....
DNA strands ..mortal men fooling mortal men
Calling it a cure or the next big thing when there killing a whole generation to create billions clones to create a utopia that won’t even have souls in the end.