you have deadlines
but you also have friends
you have needs
but you also have dreams
you have a voice
but some days are silent
you have a chance
but first you have to admit:
you have a life -
Now do more than survive it

Hello. I said again today in the same way that I always say
Goodbye. I cried on the carride home surprised you felt as I
Next summer. I will see you then and when we meet again
Who knows. A year away i cannot say what may grace our next page

We throw away many things
if they are broken.
Old toys, mirrors, clothes

But we try to mend many things
we perceive to have value.
Baby blanket, foundation, phone

Where do I fit, sitting alone?
Should I be thrown away?
Lost, confused, unknown

Or is there some value in me
that I cannot see
that will push someone
to mend me.

midnight
a blinking blue light in the dark
unseen by the eyes closed to sleep
one
caught in dreams unwaking
free in the world of the mind’s making
two
the room fills with slow breaths
a clock ticks, the light blinks with unrest
three
outside the stars shine down
the moon passes behind a cloud
four
everything is quiet, is peaceful
lost in a night increasingly deceitful
five
the blinking light ceases, phone dead
as dreams continue to flood the head
six
nothingness
no witnesses
seven
the time to awaken passes
sleep continues, late for classes
eight
panic ensues, phone lays forgotten
rushing to school without cation

Nine to Nine
passing time, look around quick
missing partner in crime, must be home sick
how rude to leave me here, alone, a day feels like a year
rushing home, so much to do, homework to go through
dinner with the family, shove it in fast
remember the dead phone at last
the charge is climbing steadily
but slowly, too gone to use readily
finally charged, the blinking is back

ten
one missed call, one voicemail, one text
explain it all
eleven
go to sleep, after letting many tears fall
unable to do anything but withdraw
midnight
no light blinks, no message awaits
no partner in crime, no god, no fate

I've finally realized my worst nightmare.
All it took was reading something that was always there
hidden in the recesses of someone else's mind,
written down for yours and mine
to process and enjoy, relate to then forget
as we continue down the rabbit hole of online.

But this story, this time, seemed to stick.

I've met my greatest fear, the panic it incurs.
The breathlessness. The blurriness. The helplessness.
merely from the though of it...
to forget

boys get away with a lot, it's not luck,
it's brushed of as sowing oats, running amuck
girls mature faster than boys, that isn't by nature
it's nurture, it's the rules we employ
our expectations raise girls in a much faster way
to become a nurturer themselves instead of play

while boys are given more time in childhood
riding and crashing bikes in the neighborhood,
girls sit at home learning patience and care
as they sit silently playing, brushing dolls' hair

expectations are different for girls and for boys
this is not nature, it's nurture, it's society's ploy