And suddenly
He's all I see
All I need
I never thought I'd be happy again
With another
We
Eachother
Yes

****
It's seems like no matter how hard I vent
No matter how many words are spoken
How many words are typed
There is so much left unsaid
This is why its been so ******* hard to get over your ***
Please leave me alone ......
Please bother me?
Please
I'm so contradictive
But I swear if you asked me back
I'd cry and fall into your arms
I'm such a *****
Why can't I except you don't want me anymore?
Why can't I stop thinking about you?
Why does this hurt so much?
Did you really have to start this and end it so quickly?
Couldn't you have just told me how you really felt?
Why can't I stop crying?
These recurring dreams make waking up so much harder, ****!
I don't want them to end.........
There isn't much I'd honestly say if you were right here next to me.
Because I'm scared now of your rejection
And even though you say I made you happy
Deep down I know its some *******
Or maybe its not
But its easier to feel like you hated me
Because I hate me
And you made allot harder to understand men
To understand you
Even though you were already so complicated to read
I just wanna touch you one last time
*******
Slap you
Cry with you
I know there was something so much deeper between us that you weren't telling me
And now I'll never know
Just like these words you'll never know

Every night I stare into your huge brown eyes
Hoping that they'll never leave my locked gaze
I try and hold on but I know eventually you'll fade away
I keep on trying to hold on to your voice
But as the days go by I start to replace your voice with similar sounds
Like the sounds of the passing busses
The ones that passed us by while making love
at 3 am on the bus stop
I do remember your smell
So when I smell cheap ciggerettes and old spice deodorant it drives me nuts
Your touch is was gets me because I know I'll never feel this ever again
I'll never be reminded of how amazing this fealt
I never knew this would be so hard
So now I'm staring into your big brown eyes wishing so badly that this wasnt a dream
Wishing that somehow I'd run into you
Wishing that you'd realize you miss my sound miss my smell and miss my touch
Wishing you missed us

Torn like a brand new sweater
One that you had been waiting forever to get
Saving all that you had for that sweater
The thread finally came to an end
To soon if you asked me
But you never did
Swallowing and savoring the last of that bitterness you left on my toungue
****
I'd be devoured by pain
But your to fine
Too okay
Little things can set me off
Seeing things that I once saw
I don't want to
They just appear  like magic
My mind is torturing me
When he touches me I am numb
For your fingers are all I can feel
When he kisses me
I cringe
For your lips are all I can taste
How I long for an ending to these prolonged feelings
You continue to be amazing
Which is what hurts the most
I don't know how long this will last
But for now
I guess i'm half empty

I'm pretty sure i'm lost
In life
In love
In lust
The constant confusion between life and death
I'm always hanging by a thread
Shooting blank smiles to the strangers that pass
While my mind sinks deep inside to a place where only travlers find "The Past"
I burrow below, under ground
I'm numb and cold I hear no sound
Trusting only loved ones
Scared like a cat
The only ones that can tear my heart out
Just like that!
I'm willing to listen if I feel its worthy
Though most unspoken thoughts
The ones that intriuge me.

I'm sorry I can't voice my thoughts
Can't look at you dead in the eyes
I'll cry
I wonder why you can't just tell me?
How you feel
Do you even care
Do you even feel?
I care too much, feel too much
I want you to hold me
Tell me that all you need is us
All you need is our soft embrace and sweet kisses
But I know thats not all you need
Thats all I need
I'm serious
I can live off your love
And be happy for the rest of my life
But you don't feel me like I feel you
You want change you want excitement
But too me you are change you are that excitement
That i've needed for so long
Sometimes I feel like falling in a ditch waiting for you too save me
But for some reason I don't think you'd arrive
Maybe I'm too dependant
I don't know
I wish I did
Give my heart a break tell me whats real and tell me whats fiction
My body is swallowed whole by confusion
There is no way to tell anymore
Set my heart free
Tell Me