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Nothing seems to interest me these days
Neither reading nor sleeping
Even writing seems tiring😫,  
Talking to people seems exhausting
And socialising too'..... boring
Food most especially; all taste the same
And hunger unusually doesn't feel like pain
Movies and games even..... couldn't keep my brain at bay

See, most times, I just get weak,
tired and sick
And sleeping on its part, doesn't come with ease
The future too; seems blurry to see
Knowing that nothing is promised to be
Knowing we could work as hard as we need.... but still nothing achieved
Knowing our destiny and dreams could go unfulfilled.
Knowing that our end result could be nothing but filth
Knowing that the promise land is nothing but myth
Love, Love, love as you feel
You don't need approval, you're perfect a being
It's all within you, the love that you seek
You are a definition of what cutie could mean
Forget Aphrodite, you're the goddess of beauty to me

And you are brilliant with the most pleasant sight
You are the most beautiful to ever grace earth
You are the apple of God's own eye
See, the stars you admire merely reflect your light
You are to me; what words can't define
Dear mate
Do not make the mistake
of rating yourself as being irreplaceable

Remember,
humans' thoughts,
Their words,
Their love,
is still changeable

And your affection
your compassion,
your love...
in their heart... tends to be degradable
What do you want from me?
Affection, love,.... care, support
Protective shield, or skydiving wings
My heart, my soul... or my existence at whole

How do you want me to be?
A lover that listen, or the one that speaks
I could be meek, sing if it'd give the peace you need
If it appease thee, I'd be ya puppetie

What do you want with me?
To be your light when darkness creeps
Your autumn leaves when you're lonely and sick
Or that bright petals that beautify your leaves

What do you want to do to me?
No, you don't have to speak
Want to grab my arm or throw it to shard ?
Protect me from depressions and this self-harm?
I guess not....
Seems I was wrong... all along

But why can't I have a proper love?
Love that last and never leaves crack
Love that mends and never bends
Now, I'm back to where I was
And my emotions gone,.... lost, forlorn
Child, oh child,
What have you done to the world
That they treat you like a prodigal son

Why do they rebuke you this much
Your art dirt and burn
Your heart hurt and torn

Child; oh child
Prepare your heart for battle...
And your mind for war
Prepare your body for the hurdles...
And your spirit for worse
Be strong and know what is what

Child oh child
Do not shiver, do not cry,
For the trying times will soon go bye

Child oh child
Your past seems cursed
Present... tossed
And the future feels blurred
But there'd be clear path after the fog

Child, oh child
do not whimper, keep your head high
Spread your wings and take to the sky
deck up the ship and hoist the colours high
For the wavering sea will soon change tide

Child oh child
Dont give in; its just a trick
Loosing isn't defeat
No!, you're not even weak
They'd try to break your hinge...
But hey; don't even flinch
You're all that you need

Child oh child
Fret not, God could hear you sobbing
Fret not, his goodness is coming
And since the earth is still revolving
Fret not, salvation will come knocking
Do you believe in God?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in us?
Do you believe we can hold hand in one accord?
Black and white, the rich and the filth, english spanish, muslim Jews and the ireligious
Do you believe in a unifying peaceful world?

Okay, let me switch thoughts
Do you believe in destiny?
If I say I don't believe in anything, would you label me an enemy
Do you believe we're slave in the face of our Lord?
So I don't have a say in things that comes
Oh, guess that makes me a bot
No, it does not?
Then What!
Why is there...
Heaven and hell
No, it doesn't make sense,
Do you think I need help
Cos my state of mind is getting messed

Well then, let me take it one at a time.
Now tell me, where does "Will" comes to term
I mean "Noun form of Will" not the verb
The will to choose what I want to
The will to do and undo
Will and destiny, do they converge?...
To infer how we live our lives

Will you believe me if I say I'm an atheist?
Or will you think I'm just wordplaying with my writings?
Okay, okay; Anything you say...

Now, the next question goes thus...
Do you believe in love?
Yes, I've asked that before...
Have you ever love unconditionally?
Literally given it everything; originally
Without been flinch by frictional heat
By bling bling and material things

Did you just say "Aye"
Nah, that's a lie
Unconditional love only comes from mums
When I said mums, I mean mother not *******
Mothers who raise children; not ******* who just have kids
Women who are loving; Not those who have stings
Mothers and ******* belongs to different class
Mothers would rather starve to see their wards living trash
They'd better live filth to see their kids been lift
But ******* with their stings will do the opposite
Popping up at bars showing off their ***
Most women are *******  and most dads are tards..
  
Now, let me ask again
Do you believe in love without a gain
Would you still love me the same,... if the reasons gets displaced
Would you still stay even if I make you feel pained
Will you love me back to life if my heart is clouded with hate
Will you take the blame for mistakes I made
And when the earth quakes and my heart trembles and break
Would you go on your knees and pray
Cos thats what makes mother's love unremitting
A love that stand strong without Oremiti

I guess you can't,
Cos love as it is; is just a game of heart
It's hyperbolic saying love is an art
Not shambolic; if I said its just a contract

Undisputedly; true love does exist.
Loyalty, trust, honesty; those are the charges it emits
But being unconditional is out of it
Yea, it's a first-degree counterfeit

So, that brings in my last questions,
Do you believe in truth?
Do you believe in things that you do?
You should.....
Believe in you
Minutes after minutes I try to manifest positivity.
Distract my mind from depressions it harbours in
I try to hold on strong to whatever holds me, despite how I feel.
Be it pain, struggle or love that never be.
My dreams gets wrecked and so does my self-esteem
Even Mc Gregor can't survive the punches I take within
My age increases but my status stay on hold
Just when I try to do something for me; new calamity unfold
I want to give up on everything; but my spirit say No!
Its hard to be strong: but harder to let myself go
It wasn't so... easy though.
Especially when you're at your lowest low
I ask myself every time “why?”
Why oh why
Do I feel the way that I do
Why do I get bruised so black and blue?.
No answer; no response, just hum
Just myself and I, No one to hold onto
So I mask my emotions and all that I feel.
I guess I am the greatest actor that'd ever be
I keep thuging every punches life throws at me
Like Deadpool did every time he gets killed
At times I can’t bare it, but most times I did.
And when dark times come, I tell myself that I can move forward.
Since I make it this far; there's no retreat
if I can defeat this anxiety and the pain that aches within
Then I can do it again...
I  can move mountains.
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