To the question, "how are you?"
"I'm okay" , "I'm fine" .
Are the kind of reflex replies
You will always find

But the truth
They camouflage
The hurt and the pain
They always disguise

"Misery loves company"
That's partly a lie
No one wants to be associated with the bad
And it's easier to be around those who are not sad

Also there's a shame in admitting defeat
A sense of guilt for  garnering sympathy
The humiliation of them thinking you're losing
Is as embarrassing as when you are not all you are or wished to be.

"You should be happy that at least you're alive."
" You have it better than someone; some are deprived."
"So you can't really complain; that's ungrateful."
" It could be worse, so even in your despair, you should be thankful."

Just because someone has it harder than you does not mean for better things you can't ask
Just because it might make people uneasy doesn't mean you must hide behind that mask
Even though there's no such thing as a life that's better than yours
Doesn't mean you have be content to suffer through yours

It's alright to talk it out, shout or cry aloud
Than to quietly fume, fret or to brood
It's never better in than out
Because in letting it all out you might actually get help and ultimately raise your mood

It's not okay to say you're okay when you're not
Your pain is legitimate whether big or small
There is no need to put up a front
You can always hope that out there there's more

It's okay not to be okay
There's no need to act like all is ideal
Because we as humans, we are flawed
We are not fine but we are fine with that, we will get there even if it's piecemeal.

My scars tell a story
A much more permanent memory
Left by life's indelible mark
Mostly trauma's hallmark
Reminding me that my tormentous past was real
That I had wounds even if they eventually healed

Some will fade, but most will persist
And those are the ones that will teach a lesson
A reminder that they will always show where I've been but never dictate where I'm going
A promise that ultimately something positive comes out from the broken
Although the history behind it is pitiful
The future holds something much more beautiful

49 stitches, desensitised and disturbingly serpentine
13 inches of a rugged and raised line
So macabre you can't look without flinching
But I have come to gaze upon it without cringing
My scars may not look appealing
But are still a sign of healing
They say I took a hit but I survived
They are but evidence of the life I lived

The strongest and best of people have scars
So I'm glad my wounds and stitches left a scar
So like jewellery I show off my skin which has been marred
For everyone to see, like the scars of the universe; the stars
And maybe it will teach others that they can also heal
No matter the injuries they suffered, it doesn't have to be their Achilles heel.

R. Q.