WickedHope

WickedHope Feb 2022

I hope you know how much of my heart you hold
You didn't always let me in
But I saw you
But I see you
I know you
You were who I wanted to be
Sometimes I still wish I was more parts you than me
I don't know if you remember that night
Or if the drugs washed it all away
But I have been sober since the second he touched you
Since the second he said he wanted us both
I was so angry
Only for a moment at you
Because I never told anyone what we did
But apparently you had told this monster
Then he made you cry
Then he grabbed the wheel
Then with words and laughs slurred he tried to crash as we went over and over and over the speed limit
I was so angry
I will never watch anyone hurt you
So I'm sorry I made you cry
You are my sister
The only one I've ever really had
I am so angry
I made you cry

Feb 2022

Deafening Silence

Y.O.U.

Cute and adorable,
But not the approachable.
A smile that can make the heavens shine,
Oh, how can i make you mine

Mixed emotions commenced within,
Thinking of plans for the world we live in.
Fear and dreads of the past,
I thought not all things will last.

The purity of the heart consumes me,
Not knowing what's supposed to be.
Loving you was all I could think,
Although we are in the process of what to pick.

Tongue-tied and frozen,
You approach me as I'm left unspoken.
The aroma of your hair subsides,
Another moment wasted by the tides

You are one blooming flower,
Nothing can price you, not even a cent or a dollar.
I wish I'd be the one who'll watch you bloom,
Cause losing you will lead me to my doom.

WickedHope Feb 2022

nothing/running/mistake-girl (Pt 2)

Take me to the place the nothings go
At least there i won't be alone
You can't erase the past etched in stone
But you can erase the 'yets' that remain unknown
Yet what we haven't done yet
The beauty of a blank page
The freedom to grow
The freedom to make shape retake break
Break free
Free to be a nothing that is perfect
Not because what is done is gone
But because of what could be
Not erased
Unwritten
This is the story of me

WickedHope Feb 2022

"so alone 'cause I left my heart at home"

nothing bites into my bones the same as your eyes each time I have to say goodbye because **** if my shriveled black little heart doesn't ache at your brilliant heart of gold muffled and dulled by the miles and time zones I lay awake every night hoping for five minutes of just us I lay awake every night so that I might get the first of you when you wake up I am desperate and greedy and for you always needy because you are the light in my life I hope you stay lit I need you to pull through this because if you don't then I die with you no matter what's next with you I'm alive if there's no you then I won't try I can't try you are mine and I am yours you are my only and I am your always and nothing will change how you saved me from normalcy and fallacy and the **** cowardly life I was determined to lead I gave up on everyone and especially myself I let them break me before I got to you and if I had known you were waiting then I'd have waited always and forever for you too but it's my turn to and I'll wait wait wait ten thousand days if I have to just please come back because that can't be the end I can't handle the loss or I'll be buried with my dead but for now I will wait forever and always for you because I didn't when you first needed me to

Miles Away - MFM ft Kellin Quinn makes me fall apart

I miss my husband.