Alexis K

Alexis K Mar 2024

It won't work for a few weeks...
Months...
Increases...
Med changes...

You have to give it time.
You have to work hard.
I've been fighting my entire life;
Just asking for some ******* help.

It doesn't seem worth the time,
When all my energy is used
Simply retrieving said meds.
Just for no change at all.

I hope it will be worth it anyway.

Alexis K Mar 2024

Flesh Prison

My body
If I could control it,
If I was fully aware,
I would stop my heart from pumping.

Free my soul.
From this flesh prison
That keeps me down.

Alexis K Mar 2024

Prisoner

In my own body.

Unable to life the weight.
Pulling me into the cement.
Unable to hear the world around me.
My heartbeat too loud.

Prisoner.

In my own mind.

Locked behind bars,
And Unable to need.
Numb, or screaming trying to get out.
Both locked inside the walls.
Nobody but myself to hear.

Prisoner.

#fatigue #depression #quietbpd

Alexis K Feb 2024

Silence

Words scribbled in agony...
Cries screamed into the void...

Sounds of life.
Of coping.

Silence is the real killer.
When I need the most.
I say the least.

#mentalillness

Alexis K Feb 2024

To My Lover

Whom hasn't been loved before.
Who hasn't learned to accept it.
Doesn't believe himself worthy of it.

I am excited.
To see the softness in your eyes,
As you realize just how much I love you.
I am honored to love you how you never knew you needed.

Alexis K Jan 2024

"Why are you so tired?"

Because there's
Fire along my skin.
Ice shards in my lungs.
War in my head.
I've anvils for feet.
Air feels like water.
I'm drowning, unable to move.
Paralyzed in life.
"Guess I didn't sleep well again."

#depression #anxiety #mentalillness

Alexis K Jan 2024

Love A Stranger

It's hard to fall out of love with someone
You never really loved.
But it's hard to love someone I've never known.

How could I fall in love with a shell? Someone who never is themself?
I don't know what they like,
What they want, or dream about.

I don't think I've ever really met them.
But here I am again.
Because I may never meet myself.
I may never know who I am.
So how could I love a stranger?

How do you?