This insomniac act is growing old
Limbs become cold

Sat on plane little saline tears
Bead like rain on window
More sentimental ****
Sick of it
Miss you that's nothing new
Same ol me same ol you
For all my grand gilded words
I'm just a coward and a child

tonight I sleep the second most happy Newfoundlander
sleep in all of Ontario, right after the man whom I met tonight at random, who done grew up in Brigus like ol'father
and did know and respect gone good ol'grandfather who I only met perhaps as bundled babe cradled in-arm old pictures of him

Overheated, I'll let myself melt
If it would bring you back
I would die again
Flushed into the ocean
To see your face again

Little Anna with your whole life
I would've called you Hope
Like I don't know
How empty and cliche
Who will you be?
Will I live to see it
Don't know
Hope so

Butterflies
  In stomach
    Gutrot
       Wish I had
          A bottle or
            Needle in a
               Haystack
                  Nodding out
                     At Tim's
                        On The Road
                  To nowhere

If your upper thighs shine
With all the brilliance
Of cradle of civilization

Still cleave in two
Tear asunder
As you like it

Hate how Kerouac talked
About being "high" on *****

The bottom of a bottle isn't
Place of elevation
Rather a state of inebriation
Grasping at the straws
Broke the camel's back
Or some such drudgery

There's ethyl alcohol between us

I can't seem to see you sober

Hold your hair til puking ends

Hypothermic when I rub back

I can't seem to see you sober

'You make me nervous'

I know I do

Waking up in another city in another province. It's not quite as crazy as it sounds but a shock nonetheless, this wasn't my house, wasn't my bed.

Picked me up outside a restaurant after she parted ways with me to go to work. I guess you could say we were getting that work too.

I insist that I hid some for the next day, before heading to her house, femme du jour...Really I had just smoked it all up.

Tore apart apartment looking for it - true ****** behavior, as we pieced together the better part of a week three sheets to the wind.

Is it really too late now? Obsessed with illusory thresholds, something a child would do.

I think it was too late three years ago when we found you blue. What a strange and foamy gurgle emitted when we pounded on your chest. ***** and human but distinctly lifeless.

It is really too late now, three years and running. You were stunning in the morning sun like an angel (how I hate judeochristian metaphors a bitter exhale), finally at peace.

Cook for one
Eat in the dark
Bright rectangles
Crosshairs
Deer in headlights
Pump the gas

collapsing on bartop bar stool reverie
old home away from home
warms cold bones
old ocean growing
swells inside me
forgetting there was ever an ebb
henry miller's dream of paris
is alive and well
walking thru streets of debauched
tradition
a place where people still remember
how to live without shame in sin
as if the simple act of being is enough
to curb fire in belly hunger

Fear creeps over hiding body
Life by the wayside
Blurry sloppy shopping failure (they know)

Touched by The Fear
Shadows in the corner of mine eyes
Telling lies, really half truths
The belt and the noose
Posturing at the way you think
It should be, big man with big plans

Pretty little liar
Translucent *****
Tear me down to cracked foundation
No amount of plaster
Broken China

what more is there to say
stare at red carpet flashbacks
acid appearance of algae bloom
blocking out the sun

beautiful death sentence writ
frozen like the petrified forest
where we used to hide

see thru clear to caustic rot
voices inside screaming ouroboros
you turn to ash
like so many cigarettes pursed
and i am glad it's the end

sometimes I'm afraid they'll lock me up
madness seeping out of my pores
along with ethanol

please stop
I'll tell you whatever
you wanna hear

maybe come hold me
maybe we can share secrets
in person for once

or get so high
we forget everything
but each other

warm my swollen head
on yr cute little belly

here i set again at precipice
dare i do!
dare i dont?
confused always
asking you baby grade me

'I saw you from the bus'
Walking towards me
As cars zoom by (overpass)

Walking towards the golden arches
I think everyone in this parking lot
Is here for the same reason

Roll one on the baby changing station
Blow away the crumbs giggling
Hands a pill to me
Over bathroom wall
comic sans 'crank'

Tells me about new job
Line cook
looking for an apartment
On the French side

Tells me about the Mission
We swap stories about shadow people
And lion gods in the stars, triangulating

Tells me about the dragon and the monkey
On his back, Jack and functions of Fibonacci sequence

Snow falls heavy from low flying clouds
The sounds of the city muted
Like jazzy horns all around me
Miles Davis

This will be the next one

The pen or the *****
Lies from false prophets
Disenfranchised or proselytized
Can't tell which is which anymore
Hyenas abound, white devil

Quiet words
From a lonely man
I write on

Convinced was doing God's work
Sure these were God's words
And I the conduit who never believed

The word left me
The lion to the lamb
There I sat, throne of swords
Crown of thorns
Struck a Pyrrhic victory
Slink off to lick sunken wounds
False prophet, I lie in ruins
The pen and the *****
Bloodletting

Staring at self in mirror
Do you see any clearer
Break the glass
Hit the stash

Cut back and say look at me
All great grand grandiose lucidity
Can breath out and see thru
Tipping the morning dew leaf
Sipping some silymarin
Nectar of the gods

Rejuvenating oils of the midnight lamp
Pressed in a stamp
Crushed with a hose clamp
Morpheus or Prometheus
Really one and same

Youth hasn't fled, it’s just passed down
As the weight of the world pushes on us, shrinking our discs
And the sound of crashing, crushing waves washing over
Stones rounded by millions of years
From the seabed, from the tilted pool bottom
Staring up at the world passing by, murkily

Are they talking to me? Talking about us?
Though I strain and strain to believe
I just can’t tell, it’s too far to see
Waking with a start, cold ichorous blood
Chilled to the bone, seeing vermilion

That first desperate breath filling the lungs
With iron laden tongue
Sanguine tasting mouth
I've read that we are motivated to live to find out what happens
How does the story end?

Coming apart at
The seams
Again and
Again

You stand laughing at my third screen cracked phone, cigarette 'twixt yer talons
My dedication to connectivity supercedes
My fear of glass shards embedding in my
Eagerly swiping soft fingers
Lord knows I dont work with these
Lazy writer hands
"Keeps laughing at me missus
I shows you"

D'you think when we develop robots with Advanced artificial intelligence
They'll be gendered
Will they have spectrum gender or Binary
Will there be a R(obot)LGBT

Highway Masticators
Sly sky high flask terminator
I'm coming for you boy
See you real soon

Brittle smile
Brittle eyes
Blunt bone saw
Sawing
Hungry red flesh
******* pinkerton

sabotaging my own life
because somehow what happened to you
is my fault

I want to meet her kid
I want to see baby Anna too
Afraid I'll taint them
With my morose
Existential nihilism
So tiring and dessicated

we see eye to eye
when i'm down on the ground weary
want to be at the bottom of bottle again
spies behind enemy lines
corkscrew

stay alone, no need for pretending
meals for one (not hungry)
smoking joints at table


look at you only
my own dead glazed eyes gaze back
beer bottle gaunt
let's go another round

I am broken bruised used up body
You are an empty ruse
Used to suss me out
Fork in road tongued snake
Eating up all the leftover soul goodness

You can squeeze the life out of me
Smiling up at you grateful
My fallen angel Prometheus

tendrils of panic
shoot up mine spine
remembering last night
nightmare

i couldn't taste anything
tongue narcotic numb

visions of the island
visions of home
panicking heart drops sick
the ocean now too far away

visions of the girl in the cute skirt
can't stop either
remember talking
remember biting
hungry for everything to be different
but startlingly the same

Dog stretches out
On carelessly tossed discarded clothes
Pushing bag of empty beer cans
They crinkle with drunk shame
I crumple and take blame

saying now again
what do i now next chop wood
as if so many little mantra words
have profound zen meaning to me
disenchanted disembodied little buddha
great laughs at own expense
fire has gone out where are you now

cracks a beer*

My vision for the future

Is a shallow grave

In our polite (Canadian) society
We have a tendency towards passive aggression

You don't address a problem directly
Say nothing

Do nothing
Except ice out the person or collective
The weather isn't the only thing
I'd describe as cold

move to small island village
bartend at only bar
serve drunk Irishmen
sleep soundly

Scrabble at cannabis culture
Vacations and volcano bags
Can't remember who won
Can remember was spun
Pop an addy, go for another run
****** friends for life
We get lifted

I am pig warm in my blanket

****** volume decibels denuded

God called and the bottle answered

Can't hear no sound

Empty callused cold little town

Convinced will swallow me whole

Will they release white winged ones

After I Hunter S Thompson

"Hold on honey" shotgun shot blast?

See soon enough

Won't we

I'll **** on your soul and swallow you whole
Make you mine
In time you'll come to realize how far past the thin white line
You have come
Undone, exactly how I like you
With all your scars shown, tattoos exposed
******* and bones and piercings
Bleeding from deviated nose thru which you can't smell
Breathe me in, every detail at once, as I breathe you
It's never enough

The whole world, your bruised knees
Bring the full weight of your hate to bear on me
Kick and scratch and punch and scream
I feel nothing but your desperate attempts to cave my skull in

Trying to do laundry but the voices in my head call to me from the dark abyss.

The blue sumner sky and light summer breeze somehow make my insides freeze insidiously and I want to hide but my apartment is hardly a lesser nightmare.

No where to hide they are coming for me and so they should I deserve to have the sky coming crushing down on me.

Trust no one. Not even myself. They're coming, where's my knife.

Bundle me up in blankets
I'm falling apart like dropped China
on the floor

put me back together with glue honey
please i love you

Remember
No one cares
No one owes you anything
Go to NA she says
Disappointed again

Life is violence
Then you die
Alone

The mainlander mantra
'A frozen rock in the Atlantic
Is not a paradise'
I don't  buy it

I drink and smoke and pop
It's never enough
All bruised and used up
Who will see what's left of me
Too late now
Take another one

we got cranked up on dexxies,
"for my ADD" I'd say,
which was technically true

suddenly solemnly looking at me
big sincere eyes
you should come
with me

we'll crawl in my brother's car
having a grand 'ol ball
rambling across the country

running away from home
ridiculous "quarter life crises"
we're all having

but you're gone one way
i'm gone another way
Sea is back by the ocean
my father mixed with the Atlantic
take me back
throw me in
with'em

Lucidity is overrated
I'll die high and forgetting

I had a nightmare
And that was
Waking up to another nightmare
Trapped

       Can't get out sick feeling
         Gut rot everyone's dropping

I'm gonna be a ****** mountain ranger
My friends will be the baers and trees

Buddy I'll take a pass at you
Wit yer face
Some cuteeeeee