No one said life was gonna be like this.
Chasing these demons, throwing my fists.
No one said this cross was gonna be heavier than the stone rolled away from that empty tomb.
At nights I struggle with these temptations in my mind but I refuse to give and refuse to bend.
During the days I look into the eyes of that kid who I wish he would let himself be saved. But he refuses to cave. I look into those but I dont see his. I see the devils eyes and he tells me how much he hates me and anyone like me but that punk wont phase me. He uses my peers to try to haunt me but I kept walking while they kept taunting. He tries to break me with this temptations and he tries to destroy me with anxiety and depression but I refuse to listen. The devil just wont get it, he tries to throw me outta commision but I wont be pushed off mission.
He tries to make useless but I look down at those dog tags around my neck and im reminded just why im fighting because my master cant be beaten and neither can his warriors.
Im fighting for him and im fighting for the salvation of those who deny him.
My heart breaks for those lost souls.
This nation struggles with depression yet they keep chasing the very things causing their depression.
This nation follows the American dream but really its just an illusion full of confusion. I wander through that fog clinging to my dog tags that lead the way towards true happiness. Not this sadness.
I tasted the things of this world and I want no part in them.
The devil thought he had me but then love broke through and carried me, beaten and battered to victory.
Yet the war's not over, every day it's a battle for my life its a fight for whats right.
But there is a promise of victory.
I came into this war thirsty for water, im not hungry for sand.
The devil thought he could take me I remembered grace and the first time I tasted it so he can charge me with everything hes got. My general knows his filthy plot. Im in this till the finish so ill tell the devil to shut it whenever he tries to remind me. He tries to rip that cross from my neck and deny me who I am but I know who I am. Im a child of the king almighty

I don't got time for these poisonous thoughts

I'm not gonna sit here looking at all I could've bought

There's lives on the line

I don't have time to smell the pines

Why do I keep wasting my time  on everything that I know is evil

You see my mind, you know just what you could reveal

The darkness tries so hard to conceal

I'm so sick of this sinful meal

Oh God, please change this heart

My sin is just ripping it apart

I do not doubt that the Bible is true

I shouldn't doubt in the power of my God

Yet I doubt my God

After all he's done for me

After he broke down the gates of Hell

After all his wonders I've seen

After all the lives I've watched him save

I'm so prone to wonder

I'm so prone to give in

But maybe I don't doubt

Because in the root of my soul I know what is true

I simply don't access his power because I'm human

Because I have pride in my own abilities which haven't gotten me anywhere

But If you were to ask me

"Caleb don't you ever doubt in the existence of God?"

I would respond, simply "No. You see Men do not die for things they doubt"

I walk through the halls of a nice school
Pretty white walls that seem to be spotless
But the truth is that the people who walk these walls seem to be Godless
Everyday I hear every gripe every groan
About how terrible someones life is
How they feel forgotten and abused
Because they didn't get what they wanted
Some groans are worthy of love
Worthy of prayer
And worthy of concern
But usually it's the ones you don't hear that you need to listen for
You need to listen to that kid who just lost his father
That girl who was *****
That kid who never comes to school because they struggle with their self worth
When all I hear is "My life is so terrible because my parents didn't buy me that car" It makes me want to throw up
These kids are dying and they don't even know it
They live the lives millions would **** to live
Yet when the real problems come around
I try to offer the truth of a God who provides healing
And His name is trampled on like dirt
Yet I will continue to share the Gospel because when they mock my father
I will not be like them
I will be like my Father who loves them more then I ever could

You talk about my God like he's a scientific study

You speak of his word like a worthless use of paper

You say there's a lack of evidence

First off,

You haven't done your homework

The Bible is continually being proven

I did my background check

I asked the questions

And I found the truth on my knees

I know of whom I put my trust in

He is my King

I swore my allegiance to him

Just cause you have a Doctorate degree doesn't mean you can fathom his awesome might

Just because you think you're smart doesn't mean you can mentally comprehend the complex and ingenious plan of the God who created your very atoms

I know my Father

I know my Savior

I know the Spirit that burns in my veins

I know where my strength comes from

You say emotions aren't logical

I disagree,

You see,

When you've tasted a sample of the greatest love that you will ever taste

You can't get enough of it

There's my evidence

Don't challenge my God

For He has the power to destroy your soul

I can't lie and say I'm never afraid

The truth is I'm always afraid

My God promised me I didn't have to fear

But I do

I know my God has won the war and when I meet him

I will bow my head

For he is God

I wish I was fearless

But I'm not

I'm terrified

I gave up to the darkness

I let those demons linger in my mind

Dear God I'm afraid

You know I'm a ***** up

You know I struggle

You know I'm lost in this darkness

Please guide me

Help me to be fearless

He was dragged to a palace where he was beaten
He was disgraced by the earth
As they scorned him
He forged them
A way
A way out of their despair
They nailed him on an old wooden cross
He could have destroyed his attackers with a thought
Yet he fought for them
He fought for you
As he was dying
He hung their
And thought of you
He fought for you
That day he broke the laws of death
He fights for you now
Every mountain you face he's ready to bring you over
He's fighting for you

Why do we as humans do this

We struggle with desires and pain

Yet we keep coming back for more

More burns more bruises

We walk straight into the fire that first destroyed us

It's like we don't know any better then to walk through the pain we wanted to leave behind

Why do we keep walking in circles

I hate circles

I just want to walk a line

Jesus gave us to walk in freedom

The fire keeps coming after us

But Jesus uses the fire to forge us

And he provides water to put out the fire

Everyday I'm in the forge
I'm pounded
Molded
Hammered
Shaped
Bent and broken
Jesus is the blacksmith
I am the project
He's not done with me yet
He uses me every day
He improves me every day
He burns me in the forges of his flame
I am forged in fire

There's only one way

There is no turning back

There is no new direction

There is only forward

Sometimes I look to the left or to the right

Sometimes I stumble

Sometimes I fall

Sometimes the devils arrows pierce my armor and I cry out

I am a sinner

But I will continue forward

Run forward

You have the strength to get past these obstacles

Don't look behind you from the past you came but only forward to the future glory you shall experience

When you are tired and feel like you can't run anymore

Get on your knees and pray

Pray for the strength

You can get over these mountains

To those who don't know Jesus Christ

Call upon his name and you shall be saved

Surrender your life to him

And you will live with more joy then you can imagine

Your life won't be easy but it will have satisfaction

To those who do know Christ

You have God in you

Tap into that power and you can overcome any obstacle

I remember the day I took the brunt of his love
He showed me love that isn't found in this world
He gave me a mission
To tell the world of the things he's done for me
Little did I know
That is one of the hardest missions to have
You see Satan has a plan to destroy this world
He seeks to **** and destroy
But Jesus told me that I have nothing to fear
When he is with me there is no opposition
The hardest tasks become easy
When I am weak
I am made strong
In his love letter to the world
He wrote that he would be with me on this mission until the end of the age
So who shall I fear?
I see so many flaws in modern society
I see broken families
Lost souls
But whats even greater
Is that the King of kings
Who controls the placement of the earth around the sun
The King who has authority of the universe
Sees those souls
And he sees you
He sees our every flaw
But what makes this so great
Is that he sees all of the pain, the sin, the flaws
And he sees it with love
He sends his followers
To help the broken
To take care of the needy
And God is with them
So don't let anyone ever tell you
That God doesn't care about those who suffer
He looks on them with love and grace
When his people do not show the love that they were called to show
When they hate you or mock you as I have
That's not Jesus
That's not his love
He is with me
He can be with you

The heroes are the ones who lift the weak
The heroes are the ones who bring hope to those with none
The heroes are the ones who leave their comfort behind
To help those in a bind
We read about heroes in a cool suit
But in the long run we don't look beyond our own pursuits
The heroes are the ones who love unconditionally
The heroes are the parents who do their best to love their children
The heroes are those who fight for whats right
Who stand with their principals no matter what
Through thick and thin they give all they've got
The heroes are the people who risk their lives to save others
Doctors, nurses, firefighters and police officers, parents and countless others
These are the heroes
Even if we can't see their good works
They do them anyway
No matter the challenge
No matter the cost

I persecuted you
I scorned you
I was the scars on your back from those whips
I was the fist that beat you
I was the spear that was plunged into your side
I was the hammer that pounded the nails into your hands and feet
I was the thorns pressed into your head
I was the crowd that shouted for your death
I was the soldiers who mocked you and beat you
I was the disciple who betrayed you
I was the Governor who allowed you to be killed
I was the reason you were put on that cross
After all I have done to you
I hated you when you loved me
I gave you insults when you gave me encouragement
I slapped your hand away when you reached out
After all of this you give me never ending grace!
No matter how hard or how fast I ever ran
You always ran faster
You always ran harder
I am the chief of sinners!!!
I lead those who persecuted you
I was the apostle Paul who you have used to love people
You used me to love others as you have loved me
How do I pray to you when I have nothing to offer?
You build me up when I tear you down
You give me life when I thought I could never leave that guilt that was death
You freed me
You disciplined me
You fight for me
You died in my place
You died for the world
You fight to save sinners and to love sinners
You are the lover of sinners and after all I've done
I am saved by grace!!!!!!

I came to you today

With a sincere heart

I haven't come in a while

I ask you would forgive me

Every time I come before you

All I can ever think

Is to come on my knees

I don't know where I'm at

I just keep floating through life

Had some plans that changed

I don't know where to go from here

I've never walked out on this ocean before

I just don't know anymore

I'm done with my pride
I'm done with holding back
I'm done trying to keep control
I'm done fighting with you

God you gave me a life
I'm done misusing it

I'm done running from you
I'm done thinking this life is mine
I'm done wasting my life
I'm done withholding my heart from you

I'm done with repentance

So give me the strength to complete my mission

The only way to overcome my struggles

Is by your strength

So take this sinner as you have before

And do something with his life

Imagine driving down the road one day
And all of a sudden you spin out of control on the icy road
Then your car flips into a ditch
Your body is found later by the police
Today I learned that a kid who went to my high school spun out of control and his car flipped into a ditch
He was only 17 years old
He was a junior in high school
I saw him sometimes in the hall
I knew who he was
He was a good kid
He was an athlete he had a future going for him
Then all of a sudden
His life ended
In an instant
You see you never know when your life could change
In a Flash
Are you ready for that change??