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Caleb John Sep 2018
Why is it

America the land of the free, the home of the free

Decided to take away the freedom of over 60 million babies

They took their choice to live from them

60 million silent cries for help and we just sit here and debate about what a fetus is

60 million silent cries for help

Who will stand for them?

Who will speak to save the lives of the unborn?

Life starts at conception

If a woman isn't pregnant with a human life

She must not be pregnant

I pray God would forgive America

For unjustly murdering the lives of innocent children

60 million silent cries for help

I will stand for them

Even if I stand alone
Caleb John Jun 2019
Here I stand

There they run

In herds

As a mighty wolf pack they run into the fire

Here I stand while they blindly run, drunk on there own arrogant ignorance

I scream and cry

Yet they do not heed

In to the pit of Hell run billions

They care not for the things of the glorious God who made them

They don't understand that Christ came to save this filthy race called man

I cry in the name of Christ

Turn from the ways of the world

Follow Christ

Grow to know him

Only then can you be saved from an eternity of fire and suffering

I write this because I love you dear reader

The here and now will pass away like snow

But our souls shall never end

They will only move to a different place

Make the right choice of where your soul will go
Caleb John Apr 2018
Why is it after so many years of eating sand
I finally had a drink of water
And my heart wants to return to the sand
But I learned from my mistakes
I see the pain and hurt it caused
I gave up the sand for water
And when I did my tears reigned upon the altar
I sacrificed my false gods that day yet they still call me
So I set my eyes upon Jesus
He will pull me through this
He will give me the strength when mine is spent
Years after the day he crushed the addictions they still call my name
They still scream my name
And It awakes a demon in me
I wish people could see the filth that is in my heart of weakness
People tell me of my spirit for my Father
But every time I look at myself I want to spit
Because all I'll ever see is a godless beggar
Among Godly men
Caleb John Jun 2019
Why do we rush to end a life?

So many are quick with a knife because of their own conveniences and preferences

How many are quick to save a life?

As we were adopted into the family of God shouldn't we adopt the innocent little children who are about to be slaughtered?
Caleb John Dec 2017
The greatest form of Love
Unconditional Love
It soars like a dove
It serves with joy
It never takes or demands
It is perhaps the purest form of Love
It doesn't give in to anger
It does not expect anything
It only gives
It's the kind of Love a father has for his children
It disciplines out of love
Not anger
It is Love that never ends
It is Love that isn't earned
It is only given
Our world needs a little more of this Love
Our world needs more Agape
Less sin
More of Christ
Caleb John Dec 2017
Many follow other gods
Gods of broken hearts
Shattered dreams
Drugs
Alcohol
That guy
That girl
The list never ends
I'm here to tell you it's all just a trend
A temporary covering of the real pain that just causes more pain
It leaves a nasty stain
I'm here to tell you it can be washed away
By the God of Love
Jesus loves you more than you could ever imagine
He loves you beyond understanding
What happens when those gods break you
Many turn into people full of hate and rage
Others are depressed and anxious
I know the God who loves where there is hate
He is the light in the dark
He puts back together what the world tears apart
False gods break hearts with pain
The true God breaks them with love
He's holding his hand out to you
So don't slap it away
Take it and experience love beyond the universe
His love is faster than you could ever run
His love stretches farther than galaxies
His grace is deeper than the deepest oceans
Jesus saves
Follow Jesus
It's the best decision you will ever make
To the depressed, broken, angry, hurt and the lost
Caleb John Feb 2019
I'll always be a ***** up and a mess

But my God recruited me to be one of his soldiers

I fail him every day

But because of his strength

I can stand alone

If the whole world comes for me with all of its armies

If I have to be like the prophet Elijah

Hunted

A wanted man

Then I will still stand

Because if I stand on the Lords side

He will stand for me

He is my rock and my salvation
Caleb John Feb 2019
I was called to be a man of God

But how can I

You're supposed to count on me

But I can't even count on myself

Jesus gave me salvation and called me to something I couldn't complete

I tried on my own, thinking I'd do something right

But I failed

So I hope one day

Through Gods power

I can be the man you can count on

I want you to know I'm trying

But I can't fight the currents

I tried and died

I realized

That to do what's right

I have to submit to God's river

I can't control the currents

But I can flow with them

I hope I can be that man for you
Caleb John Jan 2018
A guy meets a girl at the beginning of the year
As they get to know each other
Outcome the tears
First come tears of Joy
Next come tears of pain
The girl lacks a father
Who told her she was worth enough
The guy didn't have a dad who taught him respect
The girl wants someone to love her
But the guys just there to rob her
The guy knows the right words his pro at persuasion
Little does the girl know
She's about to get bated
The guy uses her for her body
Some guys may not know it at the time
But that's why the stay for another chime
Then the guy realizes
He is her god
So he runs out of fear
He leaves her a psychotic mess
In her pretty prom dress
On the front steps
There she sits
Tossed away like dirt
Then comes the hurt
The girl fell in to far
And now she doesn't know how to get out
She fell into pain
And now all she has is rage
You see when he stole her heart and ran
He took all she had
For a temporary fix
Then comes another guy
The girl doesn't understand anymore
Why she still loves
The one who broke her heart
Then the cycle repeats
She keeps thinking
Maybe this ones different
Turns out
She was wrong
Then one day she's had enough
All she has is rage and pain
Because anything she ever had
Was broken
She doesn't have anything left to live for
So one day
She takes her fathers gun
Walks outside
She holds it to her head
Ready to be dead
Any second and she'll have what she wants
To end it all
Then without hesitation
The trigger is pulled
Caleb John Jan 2018
She opened her eyes to white walls
White sheets
A pain in her jaw that felt concrete
She couldn't feel her face
Her jaw was filled with an empty space
Then she remembered
The bullet that was meant to ****
Missed its mark as if it was aimed with skill
A shattered jaw
restrains her maw
All she wants to ever do
Is scream her problems away
Her Mother shattered and broken hearted runs to her bedside
She hears her Father was at work as usual
He nearly lost one of the greatest blessings this world has to offer
But he's to busy making money and making offers
She goes to the therapy
Mental and physical
She hears she may never be able to eat or speak the same way again
The therapy doesn't help
She feels like a floating piece of kelp
She feels she has no purpose in life
No reason to exist
So if living hurts
Then why live at all?
Then one day
She hears a knock on the door
She opens it
There she sees that girl in the hall she always avoided
That girl who tried to tell her about God and Jesus
Before she thought her and her God were silly
But now she feels chilly
She lets her in
She tells her about a God who loves her
A God who gave her a reason to live
She realizes the futility of the atheism she grew up with
She goes to church with her friend
To her surprise people welcome her
Although she looks different with her deformed jaw
They welcome her and seat her in the front row
She hears more of this God
To hear it sounds kind of crazy
Then she hears about the evidence of his existence
Her heart immediately becomes whole
She accepts Jesus as her savior
She feels love like nothing this world ever promised her
Then she gets to know that guy in her youth group
Shes been burned before
But every time before
They always wanted something
All he wanted to do was give her something
He gave her kindness and respect
He gave her love
Whenever they talk
All he cares about is her dreams and what she wants
He talks about himself only when she asks
As she grows older she prays and prays
That God would show her if he is the one
On her twenty third birthday
He brings a gift
A ring
She knows immediately
He's the one
You see when she listened to Jesus
He led her to a husband who loves and honors her
When she followed the world
She settled for thieves
And boys who claimed to be men
If only every American Teen Romance had this ending
Unfortunately they end up worse
Caleb John Apr 2018
He saw a world

A world that was sick

So he came to the world in need of a physician

He humbled himself

He became a man

He gave up his glory and majesty

To save a dying world

He lived a life as a humble carpenter

He lived a life of love and grace

Then He died on a cross

A cross made of simple wood

Three days later he broke the rules of death

He got up and walked

What more could he have done to prove his love?

What more could he have given?

He love our filthy human race who have nothing to offer

But filthy rags

Our pride and arrogance roots our evil

I'm part of that filthy race

I'm no better then anyone else

It makes me sad because I'm a reason he was on that cross

And that's how He saved the world.....
Caleb John May 2019
He is the one who took my place

He is the one who forgave me

He is the one who purchased my freedom with his blood

He is the one who gives me the strength to live every day

He is the one who stood before a whole army of darkness and beat them single handed

He is the one who I serve

He is the one I will call King

He is the Christ

He is the Messiah

He is my Savior

He is the Intercessor
Caleb John May 2018
When I look into the skies of the night

All I see is an ocean

An ocean of stars

An ocean of galaxies

An ocean of star clusters

An ocean known as the universe

It rips and flows by the laws of gravity

Stars exploding and being born

Asteroids flying as fast as light

Galaxies of solar systems

With moons dancing around planets

In a heavenly dance

Only Godly hands could send these tides of gravity into this dance

This ocean of space is an ocean of beauty
Caleb John Jan 2019
Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right.
- Abraham Lincoln
Caleb John Dec 2017
Where do I start
I'm amazed that you gave me a part
A part in your universe
Everything that I see is just an apple in the cart
A grain of sand in the desert
When I look out into the stars
All I see are your wonders
And that's just a scratch on the surface
Caleb John Oct 2020
I used to write like I was running out of time

Some days my soul feels so poor it doesn't have a dime

I'm still pouring poison into my soul

My mind used to be as sharp maybe it's grown dull

I still pursue my God

He guides my life and where I trod

But lately I keep struggling trying to put him there

At the top of this barren fair

He invested so much in me

Was it all a waste?

I feel like a patriot in Boston dumping that tea

It wasn't in me, his faith was placed

I know his faith is in himself shining through me

If my future is blown from my past

He is not to blame
Caleb John Sep 2018
Every day I wake up and put on my armor

I strap my sword to my side

I cling to my shield

As I walk onto the battlefield every day

The enemy whispers in my ear

Everything is hopeless

What's the point?

Just drop your sword and lay down your shield

It doesn't has to get any bloodier then this

That's when I realize that those demons are right

It doesn't have to because my God already won this war

I'm merely pushing forward from victory

So I will raise my shield high

I would rather come die and be brought home on my shield then drop it and run

I will draw my sword

And I will fight until my last breathe

Will you?


I will draw my sword
Caleb John Jan 2018
So full of wholes
So full of lies disguised as truths
The lack of evidence proves it's just a ruse
It's so hopeless
My heart breaks for Atheists
So many work so hard to bring followers of Christ down
There is futility in their lives it will get them no where but down
So many know the truth
So many atheists know of Jesus
Yet they hate him
They've seen him
Yet claim that he doesn't exist
How can you hate something so much
That doesn't exist?
Caleb John Jul 2018
I've never been good at an intro

So just let me cut to the chase of what many of you have been through

Addiction

Shame

Guilt

Depression

Anxiety

Losing loved ones

All I can say is that my heart breaks

All around me all I see is pain

But I also see healing that you can't contain

I see broken homes

Broken families that seemed alone

I cry out to you who feel this pain

I know you're at your lowest

I know where you're at

I remember losing the fight but then Jesus came up to bat

You thought you could win on your own

I know now Satan's trying to break my hunger

My hunger for Jesus seems to be dying

But I see now that I'm just inches from winning

What ever it is

What ever the pain

Never let suicide be the way out

Don't pull that trigger!!!

I've had my highs and my lows

My Joy and my Tears

But whatever the pain is I beg of you

Follow Jesus

Because only he

Can Beat it
Caleb John Jul 2018
Where is it found?

What defines it?

What is beauty?

Some say it's found in the outside

In appearances

Some say beauty is what is pleasing to the eye

But I say to you

Beauty isn't found in looks

In what's pleasing or pleasurable

Beauty is found on the inside

Beautiful people may have the looks

But not all people who have the looks are beautiful

Beauty is found in the inside

Beauty is found in love

Not conditional love but unconditional

Beauty is found in the heart
Caleb John Oct 2018
Did you know you were thought of before you were born?

The God who made you made a plan for you before the world began

When Jesus walked the Earth

He loved those in the world and came to save the world

And then the ones he came to save

Put him on a cross

He was beaten and whipped

He was bruised and battered by beatings that killed many

But he planned to take that pain

He knew he would do it

And he knew who he was doing it for

When he was put on that cross

He thought of you

He thought of your name

He thought of your personality

Your face

And he knew many of those he loved

Would reject him

Don't reject him

He loved you before you were even born
Caleb John Oct 2019
We weren't designed for these glass halls

And plaster walls

We weren't designed for elegant *****

Or sensual cat calls

We were designed to climb the highest mountains

We were bred to dive into the deepest oceans

We were designed to protect the weak

We were designed to fight

All this false talk of coexistence is impossible

All this thinking that we can sit down and simply love each other is fiction

Until the King returns

We are here in this world that just continues to churn

Some just want to watch it burn

God called his people to stand for the weak

Not sit there and think about how this world's so bleak

We were designed for strength

I'm sick of a weak society that says we are bound to our nature

I've spent so much time watching Christ rip my nature apart to believe that

I am no slave to my nature

I am a slave to my design
Caleb John Aug 2018
Dear Son

I hear you scream out of desperation

I see the pain you're going through

I hear your cries of terror

I know the suffering you went through

I watched as your father hit you

I watched as the bullies humiliated you

I saw knew your suffering the day you were left an orphan

I felt your tears run down your cheeks

Did you see?

Did you know?

Did you hear?

Did you watch?

Did you feel?

Did you hear the voice of the mother I gave you who comforted you?

Did you know the bullies stopped because I sent a friend to stand up for you?

Did you watch when I gave you son-ship in a loving home?

Did you feel the son-ship I granted you in my family?

Did you see the healing I provided?

Why then do you cry to me?

Why do you ask for what I already gave you?

I gave you my son?

What more could I have given to prove that I love you?

Be still

Look around at the blessings you have

Don't look at what you don't have

Be still

And know

That I am God

Dear Daughter

I saw the beatings you took

I watched as you were crying on the floor of your room

I saw them scream at you and abuse you

I heard you call my name

I felt the depression and brokenness you felt

I felt the pain you felt of a family who scorned you and treated you like a dog

Did you watch?

Did you see?

Did you hear?

Did you feel?

Did you watch as I sent the neighbor to come check on you?

Did you watch as she took you in and cared for you?

Did you see healing I provided through the comfort of your friends?

Did you hear the uncle who cried with you and tried to be the father he couldn't?

Did you feel the grace and mercy I gave you?

Did you feel my love?

You called and I came

I love you

All this I did for you

Open your eyes to what you have

Count your blessings

Be still

And know

That I am God
Caleb John Nov 2017
My God gave me a family
He gave me a  home
He gave me a job
He gave me a challenge
He gave me the tools
He gave me friends
He gave me supporters who built me up when others pushed me down
I was given a shot to live life like no other
God gave me a Mother
He gave me a Father
He gave me Brothers
All I ever want is to serve at my saviors feet
He gave me all I need
He helped me pull the weeds
I was given a message to give to the world
I wasn't ever made to stay on this earth
I was made to be with you someplace beyond outer space
In this world I feel so out of place
But I never needed to feel in place
You have a plan for me
You have given me a mission
You gave the light in the dark
You reached out when I was drowning
You have made me one of the Happiest people alive
Because I am blessed
Caleb John Sep 2018
So many walk through life

Blind to the sinking sand they walk on

They don't realize their life will end at dawn

So open your eyes

Step out of the sand

And walk into the ocean of grace
Caleb John Mar 2019
You keep trying to put me in a box

You try to crush my future

You try to surround me with all of this evil

You try to make me think that I'm what I was

But I won't go back

I was declared free of this shame

I was given the power of Grace

I was declared a free man

I can walk where I want

I can think what I want

So stop trying to make me think that this evil is what I want

You can't put me in a box

My God has a plan for me

So what can stop me

I will bow before his name

I will serve him

So back down before my God
Caleb John Oct 2019
If anyone is in Christ

He is a new creation


They are restored and cleansed

And they have access to new strength

Sin is strong

But greater is he living in me

Then he is living in me then he who is in the world
Caleb John Apr 2018
Dear God

You called me to go into a school in need of love

I was told to be confident in battle because you promised that no weapon formed against us will ever stand

But now I don't feel very brave right now

I guess this is more of a prayer than a poem

My soul is just worn from the fact that all I see

Is a world that doesn't want a paid fee

But you called me to be brave

So I will keep going

I will run through this flame

All my life is a fight

For this is the reason that I was created

To Love as You do

To be Compassionate as You are

To be Brave because You are with me
Caleb John Jun 2018
I feel scattered
The devil broke me and nearly destroyed me
He found chinks in my armor
He shot so many arrows into my dying body
I will always remain broken
But I hear that you use broken things
So if you use broken things
Here I am
Use me
I stand broken
Among a broken people
I can see all the cracks and corrosion's that fill our society
It nearly causes me to break even more
But if its true that you use broken things
And broken people
Here I am
Caleb John Oct 2019
This worlds just broken

Trying to cover it with cash

We try to think we're good people

but even the best of us

Are just cracked throughout our shatter points

I've always been a desecration to my God

But his forgiveness has always been greater than my sin

His strength can mend your cracks

He's mending mine

He will mend them if you seek him

If you cling to him
Caleb John Nov 2018
I sometimes stare down at people with judgement

Then I'm brought so low I remember

I'm no better then those I look down on

I'm a filthy mess that other people depend on

  Those people don't see the cracks in my muscles as they begin to wane

Underneath this strain

Dear God I'm beaten and battered

Broken and shattered

Others depend on me

But I depend on you

I can't do this alone

It's all on you

These broken spirits that surround me are waiting to be revived

You took this mess of a life and used it for your glory

That is enough for me

I just ask you would take these hands from me

Because if allow me to use them for a split second

They will destroy this ministry

Not because of your lack of strength but mine

Father take this broken soul

And make it whole
Caleb John Sep 2018
Stop allowing the walls to grow around you

Don't allow the labels to block out those who love you

Don't block out the God who loves you

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE WHAT OTHERS SAY YOU ARE!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET THOSE WHO HATE YOU STAND TALLER THEN THOSE WHO LOVE YOU!

You were made to be loved

But not by the world

You weren't created for this world

You were created for some place beyond outer space

You were created to be saved

So stand up call upon God to save you

Tap into his power to break the walls of oppression

He will save you

Maybe not immediately

Maybe not when you expect

but he will break your walls
Caleb John Aug 2018
I'm so sick of a past I can't erase

I know I'm not alone in this feeling

I'm sick of hurting people even when I didn't mean too

I wish I could just burn it down and rebuild a new

But there will always be a part of me that remembers

These demons in my head whispering lies into my ear

SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO BURN IT ALL!!!

Everything I built

Everything I broke

Every friendship I smashed

Every friendship I fixed

I remember the days when I was a hypocrite

I could spew hell fire from my lips but at the same time I was doing everything I condemned.

For those I hurt I'm sorry

I wish God would revive that warrior spirit in me I had all those years ago

I'm done with these demons and I'm done with my past

I'm done with that hypocrisy

I'm new in Christ

This is a new declaration of war on the evil part of my heart I try so desperately to rip out.

This is a declaration of war on the demons whispering in my ear.

By the grace and help from God

You will burn
Caleb John Jan 2018
This world is full of people seeking truth
What truth?
Truth that is supported by evidence
I find it odd that even when given the evidence
People still refuse
To believe
The evidence is all around us
In blood cells
Inside the leaves that dance in the wind
It is evident that he wrote the very laws of nature
The world is to complex
Too large
To be an accident
Through all of this evidence
The Bible still says to walk by faith
I walk by faith because that is what the Bible says
It is not a blind faith
It is faith based off of all the times He proved he was with me and for me
It is by faith I will walk and not by sight
Caleb John Mar 2019
Why are so many of us so unstable

Willing to be anything that will get us accepted in modern society

But we weren't called to be a part of the world

We were called to love it

We were called to stand for what's right

We were called to speak out against legalized ****** of millions of young babies

We were called to stand up for what's right

We were called to be honorable in our actions

We were called to be soldiers who take up arms to stand with our king

We were called to fight till our last breath

If the world hates you

Will you join it?

Or do what's right?
Caleb John Apr 2020
Him:

I long to lay eyes upon you

But I must pursue

This creature will be the victor

I fear that if I forsake the chander

What will occur shall be sinister

I promise you I shall come home

As soon as I end this forever roam

I shall return to see our child

This hunt is running wild

Your eyes are what keeps me alive

I can nothing do but strive

I remember your smile

T'will push the weakest through any trial

I am not strong

But I cannot allow our family to be victim to this wrong

I shall come home

My love


Her Response:

When shall you return?

I can no longer discern

You say you are not weak

But never have I seen someone with such seek

Do not allow the creatures trail

To allow our love er fail

I miss the kindness in your eyes

I would choose to see them o'er the choicest dyes

Our son needs a Father

He only knows a saunter

Soon he will be a man

He needs an anchor in the sand

I need you

I know not how to continue

Your leadership did give comfort

I am yet unstable

Your embrace is what I miss

I still remember our final kiss

My dear husband

Use your blade for thy return

To our dearest Angle-Land
Caleb John Sep 2018
His brush strokes are big and small

As small and intricate as the atom

As big as the galaxies that make up the night sky

How beautiful is this world

Its canyons and oceans

This creation is certainly beautiful

Yet the creation of heaven is even more beautiful

Thank you God

For the eyes to see this beauty
Caleb John Apr 2020
A couple thousand skirmishes

Till the last finish

Satan thought he had him

Turns out he got torn limb from limb

The Christ overcame

Yet so many are quick to pass the blame

What a stupid game

The God incarnate came to save us

When we were just putting up a fuss
Caleb John Sep 2018
Get good grades in school
So you can buy a house with a pool
Says teachers and parents
Like that's all that matters
Money and patents
But lets step back
My patience is about to scatter
There are millions around the globe
Enslaved, starving and hurting
Shootings more common then ever
But we're told
Forget about all that it probably won't happen to you
So live for yourself, go for the gold
Because this life is yours so live it to the fullest
Yes I do well in school
Not for the grades and money
But so I can one day give those less fortunate then me
Don't get me wrong I'm thankful for my education
But from whom much is given much is required
Our generation can be different
Instead of being greedy for money and power
Why don't we be the change in the lives of the sour
This world is in need of love
Be the change
Set captives free
Fight for what's right
We can be the change
Caleb John Aug 2019
Different shades

All beautiful.

Men and Women

Differences in fashion

Differences in social behavior

Different treatment of each one

All different

All beautiful.

If we take masculinity and femininity and tell our society that those differences are ugly, it's like blending every color into the same shade.

There will be no beauty

There will be no value.
Caleb John May 2020
Is this you?

Focused on your own life?

Your enjoyment?

Your entertainment?

There's children in South America being hunted on the streets for sport

There's shootings across the globe

There are women contemplating killing their child because they aren't able to take care of them

There are mothers raising their kids alone, no one to defend them

No husband or father to fight for them

Slavery is still alive

Who will stand for what's right? Who will fight for the defenseless?

Is it you?

Or are you too busy thinking about what you are going to eat for lunch or where you are going on vacation?

Is there any man willing to dump the poisonous images and stop thinking of their own pleasure for the sake of others?

Are you complacent?
Caleb John May 2018
I will not fear the future

I will not fear what the future holds for me

Because I serve the God of the future

And He is in control

Whether it is pain, regret or loss

I will not fear

Because I serve the God who is in control

To those in despair

And ready to pull the trigger on life

I beg of you don't

If you face abuse, fear, guilt, regret or just straight up pain

Depression

Anger

Don't pull the trigger

Don't pull it

Let go of the wheel

Let go of control

Let God control your life

Don't try to drive it

You will crash and burn and the last thing we need

Is another loved one put a pull in their brain

And leave their family behind

Give your life to the God who is in control
Caleb John Jan 2018
Darkness
Burning
Complete solitude
Forgotten
Silent screams that will never be heard
Absence if light
Straight pain
Eternal imprisonment
With no parole
Caleb John Jan 2018
Walking from day to day
Not living
But not dying
You try the drugs
The alcohol
The love
The greed
Nothing satisfies
The happiness doesn't last
You're just passing time until the clock times out
The cool stuff is never enough
What you thought was love left you empty  
When the drink wears off you feel the need for more to forget your problems
The drugs take everything you have
You're health
You're money
You're time
On the inside all you want is for the clock to run out and end your misery
Then the calm comes and the healing to your misery arrives like a dove flying from the clouds
And it catches you
And carries you to the highest mountains
Caleb John Jan 2018
You took farther than I ever wanted to go
You hit harder than I ever wanted to be hit
You broke me more than I thought possible
You made me thirstier than I ever dreamed of
You burned me down to the bone
You destroyed my soul and wreaked havoc upon me
You damaged my relationship between me and my God
You brought me down to the depths of suicide
Some nights I prayed I'd die
So here's my declaration of war
I'm going to fight you to the end of my life
I won't let you control me
I won't let you destroy the ones I love
I will not give in
I will not bend to you
I will not bow to you
This is my declaration of war
To myself
Caleb John Jan 2019
How far can we sink?

How dark can it get?

How cold can it feel?

Before we realize we need someone to pull us up?

The more I see this ocean the more I hate it

It looks clear and blue on the surface

But below lies a couple riptides

Sometimes they pull me away

Sometimes I don't know which direction the shore is

I don't want this ocean

It's full of dark caverns of guilt

Large valleys of shame

Tall mountains of pain

Currents of temptation

I need a savior to rescue me

I need my God to pull me out of here

He's shown me the wonders he has in store for me

I know he will save me

From the deep waters
Caleb John Jul 2018
Every morning I wake up

Thinking what am I doing here

A past that haunts me

A God who already won me

So why do these demons taunt me

I only see now it's because I didn't give the fight to the one who already one

So now

I give it all to you God

My past

My pain

My hurt

My regret

My love

My peace

My chaos

My false gods

I give it all to you

I love you

Now I will take up my cross and follow you

I'm gonna shut up because this is a ***** sinner speaking

So I will shut up so you can listen to the God who made you

I give up the fight

To Christ
Caleb John Nov 2018
Completely alone

Total darkness

Complete separation from everything good and beautiful

Emptiness

Lifeless

Screams

Burning for eternity yet never burning away

Yet people choose an eternity of this for an eternity with a loving God
Caleb John Oct 2018
When I'm lost and confused

And I'm just tired of being abused

By this world

It leaves me breathless without a word

I will look to you

But when I miss your cue

And keep taking a beating

I'll break through my mind

Some may call it cheating

But you gave me a free will

I may not know your will

But I know what in my heart I need you to ****

Sometimes I need direction

For reproof and correction

But when I can't hear which direction I need to go

I will make my best decision that I know

If I make the wrong decision

Push me to the right one
Caleb John Apr 2020
That's what I thought I was

Now that memory is full fuzz

I thought I was unworthy

I never thought I could be made worthy

I underestimated your power

When I looked at myself all I tasted was sour

But you only see me with pride

Who are you Lord?

Your love is stronger then the tide

Your embrace is greater then my fleshly chase

I thought I had to earn your love

Little did I know that it flies like a dove

Father there are no excuses

I know that I have caused you pain

But you don't see me as someone who deserves to be victim of abuses

It was all in vain

Father you are a perfect father
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