there's no documented history
save for my memory
of us ever
being together
trying to erase the tape
delete the database
stab it in the heart
with a stake
decapitate
watch as it squirms
in pain
but it won't go out this way
it can't be killed via
external devices alone
it has to die on it's own

i love my vicees
they are addicted to me
Amsterdam shags
black coffee

i should try to resist you
not sure if i'm capable
to control an appetite so
insatiable

i abandon the thought
before it crosses my mind
i'm aware of my limitations
a realist you'll find

so i send another text
believing you'll reply
rehearsing my lines
knowing i can't  
say goodbye

yes i love my vicees
they are good to me
helping my mind
stay steady
i'll put you down
when i'm good and ready

lived in the shadows
far too long
hiding from the truth
hating and believing
i was something i'm not
afraid of being discovered
a fraud
now the smoke has cleared
the flames now breath
licking and stinging
ashes now the mess i made
fearless and
ablaze

i roll my shags
fat and tight
took a lot of practice
to get them just right

i'd like an hour of your time
please forgive my persistence
as i listen to your stories
and absorb your existence

come sit with me on my back porch
i promise to be silent
tell me when they sent you to that special school
to find out why you were so violent

or when you got busted
for selling e
over 50 tabs
was that your first felony?

the one you won't tell
it's that scar on your calf
stitches for sure maybe a bite
let's save that for another night

let me roll you a ****
fat and tight
i want to get lost watching your lips move
now gimme a light

love your sense of humor
when you say you're sorry
for torment
you don't act like you care
but i'm sure that's what you meant
it's more of a haunting
to depict accurately
a ghost hiding in the shadows
a shell of what used to be
your red suitcase is packed
constant state of readiness
waiting for your day
in the sun
it will come
we all have
one

i hope the sun shines on your face
wherever you may be
me and maggie are waiting for the day
you take advantage of our open door policy

say hi to your mom in montana
she'll be happy to see her little runner
the apple never falls far from the tree
i'm sure she's a stunner

tomorrow we kick off the next project
so at least i'll have work to keep me occupied
perfect timely distraction
to not deal with what's inside

the king bed i bought for us it's
too big to be alone
i can't let it get too cold

there's a few sweet angels
hovering about
they are fine for a quick fix
but your the habit
i can't live without