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victoria Jan 2018
The sun still rises
And the flowers still bloom
As paper angels fly
above me
in my room

Life goes on
And good times end
too soon
As paper angels fly
above me
in my room

The sea still rises
And sleeps with the moon
As paper angels fly
above me
in my room

I still sit here
And hope the tears dry up soon
As paper angels fly
above me
in my room
victoria Dec 2017
What do you think the clown would say
When you took his frown, and wore it your way

What do you think he’d do if he knew
That his sadness was the mirror
Image of you

What would he say when you stole his suit
Knowing you could be a perfect  substitute

What would happen if you both became one
Shadows like twins
The darkness had won

What if you both
could change your lives
And live in reality
No need for the disguise

I think you’d be happy
Reflection a smile
Make up vanished
It’s been a long while
victoria Dec 2017
She was beginning her annual  journey; full of hope and excitement, back to what had become her saviour, her second home.
Years she'd spent within Italy's familiar arms, flooding her senses with summers past.

Could it really have been over a year since she last bathed in its beauty?
An entire year since her heart had been snatched away, and hidden behind her walls?

How that time had been good to her, and how strong she had grown.

Someone once told her that self knowledge was only ever accompanied by heartache and pain.
How wrong they had been.
Self knowledge had saved her life.
Self love had brought her back from loneliness.
How can that have been wrong?

Now she'd returned to the welcoming warm breeze, and the streets laced with a beauty that could release the most shackled of hearts.

A country where lovers are found wrapped tightly around one another.
Bound together with love.
Draped over statues from ancient Gods; their limbs intertwined revealing no beginning and no end. Just one heart made whole from two separate souls.

A country where street buses and cars, choreograph their way through the melody that the sunshine orchestrates.

A humidity that brings with it a yearning she hasn't felt in a million kisses. Her Senses re-awakened, a longing to be touched.
Finally freed from her self made cage.

She finds interest and delight in every withered portrait, and in the faces of every chess game, within the laziness its players boastfully adopt.

She soaks up the sticky sweet aroma like a honey bee to the morning dew.
And she is at home.

As night falls, the crickets gently rock her to sleep as she drifts away, into tomorrow's dreams of the awaiting breath taking sights and cuisines.

She falls deep into her bed.
Italy has her in its trusting arms.

She is at peace once again.
After a recent holiday following a break up that I’m still struggling with
victoria Dec 2017
Fading to dust

I dull you
I tarnish your shine
Your petals shy away
When I’m close by

You turn from the light
When I shade your eyes
You sour from sweet
As I **** you dry

You dim within my presence
Your vibrancy fades to dust
Hope slides under your door
And all because I can’t trust
This is how I can ruin relationships
victoria Nov 2017
Addicted

If I’m not addicted to Facebook
I’m addicted to a poetry site

If I’m not addicted to alcohol
I’m addicted to any azipam

If I’m not addicted to tattoos
I’m addicted to ***

If I’m not addicted to the sky
I’m addicted to reading

If I’m not addicted to shopping
I’m addicted to tinder

If I’m not addicted to exercise
I’m addicted to food

If I’m not addicted to staying thin
I’m addicted to cutting my hair

If I’m not addicted to AC/DC
I’m addicted to Leonard Cohen

If I’m not addicted to writing
I’m addicted to procrastinating

If I’m not addicted to the beach
I’m addicted to my bed

If I’m not addicted to you
I’m addicted to someone else

If I’m not addicted to something
Then I’m not happy being un-addicted....

In the words of a song I love dearly...
addicted
“I’ve never met a ****** that I didn’t like”

Many of us are addicts.... it’s how we survive ❤️
victoria Nov 2017
A puppet for your release

The first conscious breath of morning
A tiny sweet yawn to welcome the day
A long stretch under the sheets to feel my bones that already ache for you

Many hours to be filled before you arrive yourself to me
I lie still and the beauty of your not-so-handsome face appears in my heart
I adore you and your rough behaviour
Your heart cares nothing for mine
Yet mine wants to wrap yours up and show it that I am worth more

That look you send to my core when all you see me as
is a vessel
The desperate want you have to fill me up
I wonder if you close your eyes and think of her
Then I wonder not
You wouldn’t have been so rough
So dismissive of her
You loved her

Yet still
The excitement begins to creep from my heart and crawls down between my thighs
My yearning for you comes from a part of me of which I do not understand
You are all that is wrong
You leave me feeling incomplete
When all I yearn for is completion

My day will fill with any distraction
Deep breaths to prevent my pounding heart
Deep meditation to try and
Understand why I let myself
Be used
One text and you’ve cancelled
Just a puppet for your release
victoria Nov 2017
Put the light on

Come closer my faithful shadow
Separated from my feet

I wonder why you left me?
Did I disgust you so?
Did I make you blush?
Am I too complicated?
Do you wish you shadowed another?

Did you think I’d leave you?
You know you’ve the same attachment issues as me?
Do you miss the manic-ness?
I bet you miss the tears?
The tears of a shadow are so special
It’s almost impossible to catch one

I missed you
I was so lonely when you left
You took away my comfort
I felt quite distressed
Apart from depression
You’re my only friend

Please come home to me
Reside where you belong
I’d give anything to have you shadow me again
And save me from myself
Sometimes even my shadow is ashamed of me
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