bitter salt
escaped the sea

at the rim of his lips the taste entered

and the saltiness
stung and stayed

for awhile like that in his mouth

just
like that it stayed

my heart opened
and i cried

not a typical cry

not a cry for attention
not a cry from falling on concrete
not a cry of happiness

this was chest open crying
translucent tears plastering my face

a raw real with yourself kind of cry

It was the two of us there
On that

Sandy
Windy
Salty

Beach

We walked to the spot
Destined for us

We sat there
And then we laid there
Cause we wanted too
And because we were bored

Bored teens looking for
Purpose
On a beach

I bleached
That strand till it was blond

With every second that passed

A new identity was manifested

My eye lids bounced
For the first few seconds
When I first re-entered the world


It was quiet



All the thoughts that had slipped
Away
Returned

The morning sun rays
Peeked in through my single window
And rested on my plush blanket

The grey cloud
Stretched the entirety of my
Visible world  
          

Vacant earth tears made
Themselves known to
My window

I asked a simple question

“Can I die for you?”

I received a long and hard stare back

“No.”

I thought about that answer for a long time with the goal of forgiving you. Forgiving you for not loving me, never loving me. Forgiving myself for letting my love grow too much. I wanted to die for you, so you could live. But love doesn’t work like that, I guessed.

“Why?”

His reply;

“I’m already dead.”

You told me to meet you there

                      Under my sheets

Circulating my breath

                        In and Out

You said something to me

                        Some words

They made my heart race

                        The glow from my phone

Evident on the walls of my room

                          Talking to you

Telling me to meet you there

I got a feeling

This

This
Feeling


In my stomach

A desire unlike I’ve ever felt before
For you

One can only hope for a love

So bright

Like
Annabel lee
And the kingdom by the sea

Robbed of their joy
So prematurely

Have you ever heard yellow words before? They are so bright you just want them to yourself. To surround yourself with yellow words is the epitome of warmth. Say more yellow words and softness will enter people’s minds. Yellow words.

I fell
And felt

And fell a little
More and felt a little more

So far down I fell
And so fast I went

In the deep blue
Vast and unknown

I knew what
Happened at the bottom

But I fell harder
And faster than ever before

At the possibility
That I didn’t know what would
Happen

But it did happen
Just like I thought

She opened
A new
Book

And looked for answers in herself

She searched
And searched

All the

E
M
P
T
Y

Pages stared back

The swan perched its calm head
Above the dewy pond
To show it was there

The other swan fluttered
It’s wings wider
And the sun gazed on her

The perching swan sighed

The other swan sung
It’s enticing song

And the perched swan
Swam away with the widest of wings
The most beautiful voice

But

No one saw her until the other swan
Went away

And the dewy pond cleared up

Matte feelings
She craved matte feelings
Excluded from the world
Shielded from emotion

What was it like
To be happy
To have it all

The foggy rain
Without a paradise
Is all she knew

She had come to
Love it
Too much

Why she smiles
Heres the story

She smiles
To make those
Who hurt her
Wonder why
She is

She smiles
To convince
Herself life
Isnt that bad

She smiles
To keep
From sleepless nights

She smiles
To prove
She is happy
When she is not

She smiles
To keep
From darkness
Staining her mind

This
stupid
Beautiful
Vain
Concieded
Crazy
Sensitive
Easy
Weird
Quiet­
Shy
Loud
Annoying
Clingy

Smiley girl

Kids these days
Are not loyal
All they like to do is quarrel

I have no friends
Dont feel bad
It only makes me a little sad

These jaded puzzle pieces
We are only human
Leads some to ruin

I try to ignore and be patient
I would want forgiveness too
But sometimes your words and actions
Just make me so blue

I thought you were my friend
I guess i was wrong
Its easy to preach what is in a song

As i cry myself to sleep
Ill try to ignore the pain
And i guess not be so vain