i’m struggling to piece together the words
to say to you but
you keep taking the pieces out of my hand

I can’t figure out what to say because you won’t let me say it

there’s something wrong with you

you should talk to someone, seriously

what’s wrong with you

your a runt

what u have to say does not matter

you should see a therapist

i thought about how the seconds go by
and then those seconds are gone

and the seconds turn into long minutes
and even longer hours

and days turn to weeks and years

and before you know it
you only have a few seconds left

wishing you spent them better

the tide pulled in
and then receded

the ocean had this never ending game with the shore

in and out
in and out
in and out

it never ended
the cycle never ended

you won

your words won

they tore my soul to shreds and I don’t think i’ll be able to put them back together

ever

my incompetence

I’m sorry

i stepped out into the dark pavement
of a now dark, but very alive city

i hear the horns and sirens stinging the background

before continuing any further

i look around to see if anyone is following me
or notices me

they don’t
but i like it better that way

and I plug my earphones in

the lights flickered from the jolt of electricity

“CLEAR!”

the young girl’s chest bounced off the table and immediately back down

her eyes rolled back and then shut

“CLEAR!”

the other ER doctors pressed the defibrillator down with more urgency

and her body repeated the same movements
except this time the monitor flatlined
and she was dead